reply to post by Wintermute
You too eh?
lol, I think you and I are so similar, it's scary.
My mood is also directly linked to the performance of the machine I'm working with. If I've built it correctly, and everything went smoothly from
design, to prototyping, to testing... I'm happy for days on end! In and out of the work place.
But when the machine fails, I find a design flaw, or the prototyping process lets me know it's just not going to be feasible...
I'm absolutely miserable.
I'm going to tell you the way I view working in my field...
I view machines as almost like my children. I created them, and if they turn out badly, I feel like I've failed as a parent.
The maternal instinct of this goes deeper in my psyche than I realized until recently.
I noticed I felt loved, nurtured, when I am surrounded by machines... nothing makes me feel safer than being surrounded by moving mechanical parts and
the hum of high voltage.
(Which is funny, cause I hate actually working on high voltage equipment. I've been electrocuted a few times... I think of it like being physically
Anyways, I began to think that there must be a reason for all my maternal instincts being linked to machinery... so I checked into my history a little
What I found struck me as kind of obvious... a "Well, why didn't I realize this before".
During the time I was supposed to be coming to terms with what my mother is... I was being kept alive by machines. I owe my life to machines... my
lungs were too large to operate themselves, and without pressurization and an artificial respiration system, I would have died.
I suppose it was around that time, that I began to come to know the feeling of cold hard steel as if it were my mothers skin.
The sound of the hum of high voltage, the pneumatic hiss as the valves release, and the drone of the parts replaced my mothers voice.
Instead of admiring flowing curves, I admire cold hard corners on metallic objects. Smooth, sharp, hard steel is almost a turn on for me.
I'm not sure if this is the case for you... but I'm very willing to bet it has something to do with your upbringing. Ask your parents if you were
around machines much when you were in your early stages of life... you might find out why you feel so strongly for the machines. As I do.
But no, I don't think it's intentional conditioning... just a natural response as a human to that which is yours, and that which you associate
[edit on 29-9-2008 by johnsky]