Hi, I'm iLLogical this is my first post here
though I'd throw in a hi before I began
Also, I just found this site last night after some weird events and a rather interesting conversation. I've been reading thread after thread on this
and that but there are so many and I thought it might be easier to just get direct answers aside from the standard "homework"
So let me begin from the begining...
When I was 6 years old I began talking about angels and things of that nature, my mother thinking it was in my best interest, sent me to therapy. This
didn't help though... over the years I witnessed ghosts and demons... but I continued to go to therapy and tried to explain to them that it was all
I remember knowing that something ... hidden.. was out there... I looked into the occult for answers though didn't get very far because of being
about 10-12 years old
at about 14 I began to strongly notice an energy of some kind and it was everywhere... people had this energy the ground had this energy the walls...
again I was told this was not real and they decided to take action and commit me
after being released at 18 I was living alone and picked back up on recreational drugs (which I had been involved with since 7.. marijuana mostly but
slowly moving onto psychodelics) after a while I traveled to texas doing meth for my first time... I focused all my attention on drawing... which
turned out more like well orchestrated scribbles turning into huge robotic / alien battle scenes... I tranced out and when I came back I had written
without knowing it "The time has come for kings and creators" along with drawing random faces which months later had shown up in my life...
After leaving texas I went east for a while, toward the end of it I seemed to have Developed ... well.. telepathy... and after being in with head
doctors for so long I automatically assumed I had gone crazy once and for all... that is until I was 'provided' proof on _many_ occasions that it
was actually happening...
Some years later I learned that Psychic attacks were real and that I / other people could project images into other peoples heads...
Present day, even more confused than ever... All this stuff remains and I have realized my precog or something is rather strong as well.....
my examples for precog are... sitting outside the bar on the porch on the railing.. for no reason I stood up and took two or three steps away from the
railing before realizing that I really didn't have a reason to do so... but as I take my last step and right then this water from above starts to
drip down _exactly_ where I had been sitting not two seconds ago...
same bar same porch diffrent day, I went outside to escape the shennanigs of some drunken gay guy dancing around being a bafoon... alittle while and a
crowd of people are out their including this drunken gay guy is out their... he talks to me and kinda gives me this eerie feeling so I move toward the
back of the crowd in hopes of being left alone... suddenly I'm hit with a deja vu, a memory from a dream I want to say. And this guy was the trigger.
I put my cigarette out and went inside. Five minutes later I hear he kissed some guy (who I knew had been to prison for 4 years) and well that guy
punched the gay guy in the mouth and rocked his world.
and various other things... knowing very obscure things without knowing...
and daily I feel like I know something... I'll stare into the distance... not knowing what is going to happen only that something _is_ going to
Basically I'm wondering, what do I do to enhance this.. control it more.. I meditate and even explore things using psychodelics occasionally, but I
never feel like I'm getting anywhere (even though I have gotten somewhere). Where would I find people in my area who are open about this and are
willing to help develope these 'abilities'?
there's lots more to go with this but i am at the limit