Don't dare to give the kids a hug (survey done)

Yesterday I picked up on this small article from the largest news agency in Denmark.
It's about a survey done in day care institutions wether the employees felt they have changed behaviour after all the pedophile cases in the news.
The text speaks for itself:

Translation of this article:

Many employees in daycare institutions have changed their behaviour to protect themselves against accusations of sexual assault. This is shown by a questionnaire survey, which trade union FOA has conducted among the members employed in daycare institutions and school services.

A majority of the 250 who answered the questionnaire believe that their behaviour towards children had been affected by the cases of sexual violence, which has been in the media. Among the men 3 out of 4 assesses that they have changed behaviour.

No more hugs
Men are reluctant to give hugs.

-- One is very careful in how we deal with the children and often think of how activities with the children, may look to others. It is clear that it is detrimental to the children in the sense that they can feel that you are insecure about the situation and perhaps held back, is one of the comments.

Another says:

-- I always make sure to keep the doors open and as far as possible not to be alone when I change the children. I also have to take distance from the children who become cuddly, want to kiss or the like.

Get guidelines
Survey among FOA members also show that personal precautions when the employees themselves set up rules of good construction, are more common than common guidelines.

Only one in five has in the past two years participated in a staff meeting where the risk of attacks has been discussed.

While I was deeply rooted against the whole pinning of the artist to the wall in Australia and am deeply for a ban of animated child pornography (which to me are the most touchy subjects at the moment), I find myself in a strange middleground here.

On one side I think that the fact that they themselves adress "what is proper conduct", is great. I also think that it's just too bad that society has become so corrupted that this is actually necessary.
The early years of childhood are the most important in a persons life as to developing the building ground for a "normal" personality and if we begin living in an age where affection humans amongst are banned and looked upon with evil witchhunt eyes, then we are not saving one or two kids but in fact hurting all those who wouldn't be assaulted. Creating desensitized human beings who will turn into little adults who are constantly worrying and critical of their surroundings rather than having fun choosing the next color for that small drawing they are painting.

For the employees this must also create an unnecessary amount of stress on them. It's partly their job to make sure that these kids are behaving and learn to communicate with eachother. But how can they concentrate on this when they being forced to be unsure about this very communication themselves?

I remember my childhood years fondly. I can't recall hearing about a single case of assault in my daycare years. And there was lots of love where I was. The employees loved kids, if a hug was needed noone looked down upon it.

It is tough times indeed. But we are at a point where we gotta figure out where to go. I for one won't let my kids be programmed into cold robots just because society couldn't handle the concept of affection.

But what do you do?
But paths lead to corruption and you can't tell which one is more dangerous for your own kid.


[edit on 1/7/08 by flice]

Originally posted by flice
I for one won't let my kids be programmed into cold robots just because society couldn't handle the concept of affection.

Very glad to hear that. It must be remembered that pedophiles represent a very small percentage of people. But the press has pumped everyone's worst nightmare into us so much, that we now frown apon love and compassion towards children.

Come on people, raise your vibrations and learn to judge with your heart. It will never deceive you if your vibration is high. Don't rely on judging a person by their occupation, credentials or the clothes they wear - they will deceive you.

I find it staggering that most people cannot see evil in someone simply by gazing into their eyes. Not only have I always had this "gift", but those who try to hide themselves from me can sense I know, and cannot look me in the eyes for more than a second or two.

Avoid low vibration feelings of anger, hate and fear. You will lose all instinct and be forced to judge people by more "conventional" means...

[edit on 1/7/08 by NuclearPaul]

Thats right. Pedophilia is getting more airtime than appreciation-of-children. I think broadcasting and sensationalizing pedophelia on such a consistent basis is sickening - making even loving fathers paranoid of hugging their kids in public.

Society.. Just read this - and weep.

A 2 year old girl drowns in a village pond after wandering away from nursery. A passing motorist saw her, but DID NOT STOP for fear of being branded a PAEDOPHILE.

SHE DROWNED. DEAD, because he was concerned others might see a man and think 'paedophile'...

2 year old drowns because man fears'paedo' tag

We are rapidly approaching the 'Romanian orphanage' stage of evolution within our society.

No touch, no play, no laughter, no love.

This will lead to massive social disorder, because children raised like this become hard, cold, calculating adults with no love, no compassion and a terrible hunger inside.

Nazi education for children before and during ww2 used this tactic for raising waffen SS children...

maybe there is a plan behind all of this after all...

[edit on 1-7-2008 by Dan Tanna]

reply to post by Dan Tanna


Wow, I just can't believe that story. Obviously, I know nothing about the situation, but I have a very hard time believing that mans excuse. To me, I think it is just that, an excuse. I think he made a bad decision by not saving the child and got called on it, so he tried to use his get out of jail free card and claimed he didn't want to be mistaken for a peadophile.

[edit on 1-7-2008 by Karlhungis]

reply to post by Karlhungis



Karl, I wish it was 'an excuse'. But here in the UK thats a very real worry for alot of men - helping a child and then having a hysterical 'OMG man helps child..must be a paedo' reaction...

Here... here is another example. Teaching in Northern Irelnad - Men won't join for fear of being branded paedophiles... Yes this really is such a deep seated affliction in the UK.. teaching / nursing /child care .. even the local lolly pop men at school crossings don't do it any more for fear of being branded.

NI teachers - Men won't for fear of being branded Paedophiles

I actually think its a government plot against men and their role in society and with children. I think its to replace men with the all encompassing 'state machinery'..

reply to post by Karlhungis


He didn't see her drown but saw her walking along the road. I think that's a slightly different story. I would probably react in the same way to be honest :S

reply to post by flice



yes but had he had no fear of contact with a child to take care of it till the parents were found, to take the child into a safe place, she would be alive today.

Its every thing to do with 'don't touch the child' mentality sweeping the UK.


[edit on 1-7-2008 by Dan Tanna]

Well I can certainly see why men would be afraid. In the case of daycare workers, even if the accusation is a total hoax it could still ruin their lives.

Regarding the guy that saw the 2 year old in Britian, very sad but also I can see why. Imagine he stops and helps the kid, or picks her up, the daycare center is embarrassed at losing her and suddenly he is accused of snatching her.

It is a case of guilt before innocence, and even if they are innocent it can taint them for life.

I cannot be deprogrammed.

I will hug whom i please, when i please and the heck with these neurotic idiots in this society who push for a generation of cold unfeeling humans.

The real sad thing is that the word of a child, all too easily manipulated by an adult, can put a man in jail and ruin his life. The concepts of habeus corpus need to be reinstated. There should have to be some physical evidence, but there is not anymore. This means that any one with a strong influence over the child, like say a drug addicted mother, can get someone a lengthy jail sentence, and possibly gain a chunk of money or property without any physical evidence ever being produced. All she needs is a scamming lawyer. This happens, but big media chooses to ignore these abuses. In fact, the percentage of phedophiles could be highly inflated due to this reality, and probably is.

Having experienced family court, it is my observation that the people that work at these courts, and in our jail system and law enforcement realize that they have considerable to gain by keeping the levels of crime high. The crime rates dropped hugely in the early nineties, but the public hasn't ever been honestly informed, and the jail system keeps on raking in the dough. The ole expression "you should have known better", as in to do anything that might lead to your being accused of a crime, is used often.

Originally posted by Sonya610
Well I can certainly see why men would be afraid. In the case of daycare workers, even if the accusation is a total hoax it could still ruin their lives.

Exactly. Sometimes I have to work in the children's library, and those kids get nothing but robotics outta me. "Here's your info, your book's under 595.78 G, don't run because if you fall down I'm not helping."

Do you know what they do to pedos in prison. Sorry, but being affectionate, or even nice, isn't worth the risk, and even an accusation could jeopordize the job.

This little 2 minute clip sums up my feelings on the subject perfectly.

923krock.com...

Sunsetspawn LOL that video is funny! And so true!

Regarding the post above that "requires physical evidence" unless the evidence contains the dna of the molester it is still a dangerous deal. Kid gets molested by a family member, family is in denial and starts accusing the day care worker, or man at the library or whatever, because they KNOW it can't be daddy or uncle tom...suddenly charges are filed.

Dtempe if you are female it makes a huge difference. Women in general are not nearly so afraid to get involved with kids, even strangers children. I am not a big fan of kids but I don't have a fear of them, I am not worried about anyone accusing me of anything.

A slightly unrelated rant...what really makes me mad is irresponsible parents. A while back I was shopping at a big box store, this father tells his 6 year old to go into the mensroom and he will wait outside (yeah nothing bad can happen in a public mensroom!). Apparently the father loses the kid, and as I am checking out they put the store on lockdown (no one can leave). I was furious! I considered hunting that father down at the customer service desk and spending the lockdown time ranting at him, but they they lifted it and i just left.

[edit on 1-7-2008 by Sonya610]

heh, yeah in a case like that who can blame you
Kids get lost in stores constantly, some kind of trick they have, but usually not through negligence like that father :S
Where did they find the kid in the end? I would imagine he got angry and hid somewhere on purpose, hehe.

Another story from London. I think it's a bit old, but non the less valid in this case. Being a photographer myself this kind shook me somewhat.
The story was about a guy who had taken some pictures of his very young daughter running around in the garden during summer. She was naked and just playing and having fun... no ill intend there.
He then walked down to the photo shop to get the film developed (yeah, that old ).
During the development the storekeep sees the photos and immediately calls the police saying he's got a evidence of a pedophile in his shop.
Not long after the police comes to the poor guy's house and present a search warrant. He could do nothing, it didn't help when he told that the pictures was of his daughter and completely benign.
So the cops go through all his stuff, and although they do find something that makes them arrest him, they never find anything remotely classified as child pornography.
(He got tagged on tax evasion... had cash stashed in his furniture x) hehe)

But damn... this is how overly sensitive people were back then. Imagine now... Of course the situation of someone claiming you to be a pedophile over family photos is less likely to occur these days because of digital tech.
But like you guys said... even though I don't fear kids as such or being around them, that's only one side of the pond. Someone will be standing on the other side, trying to interpret my actions and some of those someones will get it wrong.

I'm not telling you to be affraid by the way, hehe. Just giving a heads up that sometimes cases are bogus. Strange and unpredictable world we live in.

Edit: funny clip Sunset and soo true we have the equivalent to Chris Hansen here in Denmark, it's the newspaper called "Ekstra Bladet". They started some crusade where they more or less entrapped dirty guys by pretending to be a 13-year old girl.
Over time they arranged meetings with the guys and would then film them as they came.
While it does take out a few of the scumbags it certainly also creates a society living in paranoia.

[edit on 1/7/08 by flice]

Originally posted by flice
heh, yeah in a case like that who can blame you

Kids get lost in stores constantly…

I didn’t find out where they found him, but I was nearby when I heard the father tell his kid to go into the bathroom and “he would wait”. The lockdown thing really irks me, I don’t have kids and I surely would not be able to hide a 6 year old kid in my purse and walk out the door with them. I think it is unconstitutional (holding people against their will like that without just cause could be considered unlawful detainment.) I can see the common sense in restricting children from leaving the building, but not adults.

Though a while back I saw an incredibly creepy story on some news show. Apparently this sex offender, who was eventually arrested for trying to rape a teenager (he may have killed some to, don’t recall) was molesting small kids in stores while their mom was in the next isle.

He was videotaping it! They showed the tapes, he would put the camera on a shelf, usually in the toys section, and target very young kids between the ages of like 3 and 6. He would reach for an item near the kid, to see if there was any reaction, and if the kids did not react he would errrmmm…satisfy himself right over the kid, slight contact but not a lot. Apparently most of these kids were so stunned, they just stood their silently. The only reason they figured out the guy was doing it was because when he was arrested for attempted rape they searched his home and found all of these tapes (and they showed the tapes on tv..it is not made up).

right out of highschool, i worked at a daycare. one of the workers filed against a parent for child abuse. he was a father who was very involved w/ his daughters and so many ppl were not used to such a thing, that he automatically became the target of this horrendous accusation.

i was outraged and said so when investigators showed up. how dare someone distort the precious love of a father for his daughters into something ugly and filthy. i was furious (still am thinking back on it). needless to say, the father, who was devestated, but more furious (and i mean FURIOUS, as he should have been) pulled his daughters out of the daycare and i became their nanny for a little over a year!

i LOOOOVED that family and wish we could see more love, patience, understanding, and uniting in families like this one. we need more of it and we need more ppl getting furious at those who are judgemental and have sick minds rather than being scared to throw our arms around our children.

[edit on 1-7-2008 by justamomma]

These are all shocking stories that everyone has. It's so sad that these days lots of kids don't even have fathers and the fathers that are around are constantly under suspicion. I know a guy who is a single father with 3 daughters. Great guy, great father, great kids. And I fear for him because god knows what kind of askance looks people give him thinking he's a creep.

If I were a man you couldn't pay me enough to work in a childcare environment.

[

He didn't see her drown but saw her walking along the road. I think that's a slightly different story.

A TWO-year old?
A two-year old has no business walking alone anywhere, let alone down a road!

It's very meagre "consolation" that he'll be reproaching himself until his last breath...

The fear of being branded a peadophile is immensly strong. I turned 16 not long ago and already I fell dodgy about talking to people I don't know [in person] who are younger than me. Especially when they are girls, and it isn't helped by the fact that most jokes at this age are sexual jokes.

I would never get a job in a daycare centre or a school. With the way kids act now if you tried to hold a person arms [at around 14] to stop them hitting someone they will cry 'peado'.