posted on May, 25 2008 @ 05:04 AM
I have posted about this type of phenomenon before. I know that typically it is ignored, which is why it bothers me to post today. But this is
something I cannot avoid. This is something that will never leave me.
I have meditated heavily over the last year and there is a very obvious affect that occurs not when I meditate, but days after.
It starts with an extremely calm disposition. Its so random it is hard to say what mindset I am in.. But today.....
Today was something different. Typically, when I have these astral projections or OOBE's, whatever you want to call it, it happens once, and without
warning. This time, I was given MANY chances at it.
I laid calmly, watching TV, and I decided to meditate a bit to help me calm down. I was visited by a violent, yet natural kind of shaking (or
vibration) that I can't quite describe. Its like being shocked with 10,000 volts, except not painful. Every time I closed my eyes this would happen.
And I was "removed" from myself, in a very slow way.
I felt myself move down and to the left. My backyard is down and to the left. Without opening my eyes, I feel my feet touch grass, and I open my eyes
slowly. I can see the field behind the house slightly, but I can also see my room.. I am seeing 2 visions at once, it doesn't make sense. And it is
like having 50% control over each.
So over the next hour I "float" in and out of my physical body. Every time I open my eyes, it ruins what I am seeing, unless I do it very carefully.
My best image (and I did this well over 15 times over 2 hours), was when I was able to control myself enough to open my eyes and see perfectly what
was in front of me. I saw every tree, every blade of grass, but I had little control over my direction. I was floating with some control, but mostly I
was being dragged by something else.
Over the next hour, I dropped into different parts of my house, not for long at all, but I improved on my targets. It made no sense to me that I had
trouble opening my eyes, it was like being blind. If I tried too hard to open my eyes, I would open my physical eyes and have to start over.
The whole time I could feel myself in my bed. It was like controlling another body altogether, and it was SO hard to actually control with any
precision.
My question is, can I take more control over this state? Can I open my eyes and see what I need to see? Can I become totally aware of the scene
without having to focus on the fact that I am still somewhere else? It seems the more I try to take control, the more this beautiful sensation eludes
me.
God this is all insane, but since I started meditation, these things have started happening and they are just as real as me being at work or going for
a run.
It would be great if someone could give me some life lessons. I am so confused and the more I try to control these things, the more they escape me.