Just want to make a general statement here, not to be construed as advice or anything.
A relationship is a partnership, and not only requires partnering, but also isn't possible without it, at least to the point of passive consent. One
partner can't really exercise power without the consent of the other.
Back in the days when people lived in log cabins in the wilderness, without legal representation, there was still a balance of power, though a larger
male could still exercise some power over the female.
But even in that event it's still a matter of will. Even a small female, though normally passive and non-assertive could have gotten a gun and
imposed her will if she really had a mind to do so.
Now I'm not suggesting anything, least of all using deadly force.
However, in the case I gave of the abusive wife and the browbeaten Steelworker, he could have taken control if he decided to, especially back in the
1960s. There's any number of things he could have done, including withholding money, just leaving, or even standing up and saying 'NO!'.
But the excuse given was that he was taught to respect women and not to raise his voice to them or to ever hit a woman.
He had a strong mother figure, and I suppose she gave him this idea.
But he used it to enable his own passivity. A smart person never needs to use force, in fact force is the least effective means to get compliance.
Anyway, there's certainly no reason that a female who is being abused in any manner, to take it lying down, so to speak.
It might be a matter of gathering information, including written journals and tape recordings, and then getting good legal advice, but in the
balance, the female, especially if she has a child, is not the weakest member. She is the Strongest member of the relationship, because she usually
has the full force of the legal system behind her.
At any rate I'd URGE everyone that is having problems, even if you feel you are in the right or the wrong to seek joint counseling.
If you get a good counselor, (shop around until you're both happy), they can teach you strategies to cope and ways to learn to -want- the best
In addition, they can help you solve the problems at the lowest level and never have to let it go to where one has to use force, physical or legal to
try and solve it.
Again, not advice, all comments are hypothetical. YMMV, use at your on risk. May be fattening or cause hair loss.
[edit on 3-5-2008 by Badge01]