Godly Tips on How to Punish and Beat Your Christian Child If this is real !crazy!

I was joking around witha friend telling her to google how to punish your child and I did and came across this second search down for them Landover Baptist Department of creation and science, and if this is real well I would say that this church is Messed up and some sick people must run the show there?

Godly Tips on How to Punish and Beat Your Christian Child

"Blows and wounds cleanse away evil, and beatings purge the inmost being." Proverbs 20:30

From the Landover Baptist Department of Creation Science
. To begin with, a Christian parent must understand that a child will never learn a lesson unless they are beaten on their naked bottoms until the imprint of the rugged cross is plainly visible on both cheeks. (Proverbs 23:13-14) A clothed bottom is less humiliating and less painful for the wicked child. In fact, the child may feel no pain at all if they are cunning enough to sin while wearing heavy jeans or khaki pants. A youngster who can sit comfortably after a Godly beating will think they have outsmarted you and tend to repeat their misdeed and feel a license to move on to more hardcore sins, like rape and blasphemy. If a child is able to sit down within three days without ointment or a bag of frozen vegetables after their punishment, you have failed as a Christian parent. A good spanking should be traumatic and something the child will remember well into adulthood.

READ THE REST HERE!

[edit on 033131p://upMonday by seridium]

I dont think its a real site IMHO.

Good eye, Keeble. From the site's TOS:

The Landover Baptist Church is a complete work of fiction. It is a satire/parody.

www.landoverbaptist.org...

This site is most certainly a satirical and often poignant look at Christian fundamentalism -- you know, the "snake handling", fire and brimstone sort of Christian sect.

The first time that I saw it, it came across as being a legitimate site. In fact, the first time I saw it, it was right here on the boards at ATS. A little-over-the top at times and certainly irreverent, the site pounds its' point across with an anvil instead of a hammer.

Take the site, and the quote, with a grain of well-seasoned salt and firmly placed your tongue in your cheek. It might also be advised to be alert for some distasteful and rather irreverent commentary. A site certainly not intended for children or the sincerely devout.
[edit on 10/1/2007 by benevolent tyrant]

[edit on 10/1/2007 by benevolent tyrant]

Um yeah..the little WWJD thong ad at the bottom of the page kinda raises a few eyebrows..
Regardless..sick to even think about creating such a site....some people may take that seriously...geez

Yeh i think he knew it was a joke, that's why it's in the 'Jokes, Puns, & Pranks' section

reply to post by AncientVoid


Or maybe... That's where it is now...

lol never thought of it like that...

AHAHHAHAHAHA. I laughed so hard reading that.

To ensure that the child is aware of their misdeed, and they never forget it, it is often best to smack the child across the bottom with the Bible as you speak out their misdeed. Each word would be one healthy whack across their naked hind quarters. For example: "YOU" [WHACK!] "DIDN'T" [WHACK!] "EAT" [WHACK] "YOUR" [WHACK] "BRUSSEL" [WHACK] "SPROUTS" [WHACK!] "YOU" [WHACK!] "LITTLE" [WHACK!] "DEMON!" [WACK!] and finishing off with a lighter whack, "did" [whack!] "you?" [whack!]

I checked out the rest of the site and it has become a fast favorite satirical site of religion.

Their T-shirts rock. I would so get a religion free shirt if they were baby tees and less expensive.