Controlling empathy

I feel that my empathy has grown extremely and now I do not know if I am paranoid or if it has grown into a force. These days I feel like I can channel into my parents,awareness. I have never been close to my dad but recently we started talking but still distant. Some times when I am in my room I actually feel myself channeling towards him and I can tell it is discomforting and sometimes I can not stop it.

How would I control this?

am I just being paranoid?

I understand that empathy is a useful tool for healing. But I feel that without control of it is a curse.

I have been told that I have great empathic ability but I am letting my emotions control things. But I do not know what are my emotions and what are not. All I know is where I live is remote and I am balanced there. But get me in a city and I feel a different person, I am far more reactive to situations and people. It could be hate of big cities but generally it is a feeling like tears welling up...I feel oversensitive.

Someone I met a while back, just walked straight up to me and told me that I was empathic and that my emotions will destroy me if I don't learn how to control them. Quite impressive for a first meeting. This person absolutely knew what people were thinking and feeling..I was quite impressed. Unfortunately they did not give any real guidance for emotional control.

I used to think that empathy was just a role playing thing. You see someone in pain and you visualise it, and then feel "phantom" pain based on life experience. But now I know it is not so. I walk in a room and I feel emotions that were not there before. Its not because I can see pain, anguish or whatever on someones face but because it just appears.

Usual I start to get a sick feeling in the chest / solar plexus (could be just nerves I suppose) then I get the feeling, I can't explain the next bit in words but the feeling is not quite the same as normal emotions. Its kinda different...the difference is like the sensory differences of our skin. The sensory feelings in the skin can be touch or heat but whatever stimulus it is you know where it is happening..on the back of hand for example. Its a crap analogy but the best I can think of for now.

I hope you learn to control your empathy if you believe you have it. I think it is hard to diagnose. But believe me it is not the same as just thinking about someones condition and visualising the pain...either that or I am on about the wrong thing!!

From what I can make out the ideal thing is to be able to focus on someone, feel their pain, take it away and ground to the out realms. You can also use this as a means of finding the real illness and use other complementary or mainstream processes, affect a cure if possible. It sounds to me its easier to ground empathic feelings than sort out my emotions...that needs therapy

I am sure it could be a useful tool. But I do find it a pain....depression is very, very easy. Some will dispute if there really is an actual bono fide psychic realm thing as empathy. I have been told that you can pick up the emotions of spirits...I ask you what good is that? You can feel sadness but no-one can tell why or whom is responsible? Far more useful would be the clairaudiant "I am Bert Bloggs, I died a sad lonely death!!" rather than just the pain of sadness and loneliness when you walk in the room!!

I hope you get some answers, I know I am still looking.

Just had a thought. Whenever I have spirit encounters (if indeed that is what they are) it always manifests as feelings. I have not done so for some time but when I used to meditate or sit in at seances it was feelings I got. In fact a while back I had a thread here regarding a bright flash of light that accompanied me at times of great stress and despair. It manifested as a mischievous flash of light to my right that moved more and more excitedly to the front of vision the deeper I meditated. Thing is, I just realised that it was always accompanied by a feeling of a warm, loving, hug. Call me mad but that is what I felt I experienced. Don't know if that's related to empathy though.



[edit on 16-8-2007 by Il Papa]

please, i need to learn to control this. Where do you live?

I feel that I am hurting my dad, im very very distressed because of this. Can anyone help???

[edit on 16-8-2007 by lseekingtruthl]

Empathy can be a blessing or a curse. I have found that with my own, the only way to control it is literally to picture your own energy blocking it. I know this sounds far out and newage, but It worked for me. I picture a wall and that wall containing my empathic energy and chanelling it back into me. When I do this I can walk thru a crowd with impunity or protect the people I care about from being read.

It takes time and practice, but I have found meditation helpful for keeping control. If you wish for more info u2u me.

Take care and good luck.

i cant u2u yet, I need 20 posts.

so, meditation is the best way?

Originally posted by Il Papa
Usual I start to get a sick feeling in the chest / solar plexus (could be just nerves I suppose) then I get the feeling, I can't explain the next bit in words but the feeling is not quite the same as normal emotions. Its kinda different...the difference is like the sensory differences of our skin. The sensory feelings in the skin can be touch or heat but whatever stimulus it is you know where it is happening..on the back of hand for example. Its a crap analogy but the best I can think of for now.[edit on 16-8-2007 by Il Papa]

I know what you mean
I feel like I get a random spasm of pain on the top
of my shoulder, like you know the meaty part right after the coller bone?

When i feel others emotions or i have a strong one of my own.
My only emotion that can trigger it is when i think of the person that broke
my heart into a million peices and ate half..

Originally posted by Il Papa
I understand that empathy is a useful tool for healing. But I feel that without control of it is a curse.

I have been told that I have great empathic ability but I am letting my emotions control things. But I do not know what are my emotions and what are not. All I know is where I live is remote and I am balanced there. But get me in a city and I feel a different person, I am far more reactive to situations and people. It could be hate of big cities but generally it is a feeling like tears welling up...I feel oversensitive.

Someone I met a while back, just walked straight up to me and told me that I was empathic and that my emotions will destroy me if I don't learn how to control them. Quite impressive for a first meeting. This person absolutely knew what people were thinking and feeling..I was quite impressed. Unfortunately they did not give any real guidance for emotional control.

I used to think that empathy was just a role playing thing. You see someone in pain and you visualise it, and then feel "phantom" pain based on life experience. But now I know it is not so. I walk in a room and I feel emotions that were not there before. Its not because I can see pain, anguish or whatever on someones face but because it just appears.

Usual I start to get a sick feeling in the chest / solar plexus (could be just nerves I suppose) then I get the feeling, I can't explain the next bit in words but the feeling is not quite the same as normal emotions. Its kinda different...the difference is like the sensory differences of our skin. The sensory feelings in the skin can be touch or heat but whatever stimulus it is you know where it is happening..on the back of hand for example. Its a crap analogy but the best I can think of for now.

I hope you learn to control your empathy if you believe you have it. I think it is hard to diagnose. But believe me it is not the same as just thinking about someones condition and visualising the pain...either that or I am on about the wrong thing!!

From what I can make out the ideal thing is to be able to focus on someone, feel their pain, take it away and ground to the out realms. You can also use this as a means of finding the real illness and use other complementary or mainstream processes, affect a cure if possible. It sounds to me its easier to ground empathic feelings than sort out my emotions...that needs therapy

I am sure it could be a useful tool. But I do find it a pain....depression is very, very easy. Some will dispute if there really is an actual bono fide psychic realm thing as empathy. I have been told that you can pick up the emotions of spirits...I ask you what good is that? You can feel sadness but no-one can tell why or whom is responsible? Far more useful would be the clairaudiant "I am Bert Bloggs, I died a sad lonely death!!" rather than just the pain of sadness and loneliness when you walk in the room!!

I hope you get some answers, I know I am still looking.

Just had a thought. Whenever I have spirit encounters (if indeed that is what they are) it always manifests as feelings. I have not done so for some time but when I used to meditate or sit in at seances it was feelings I got. In fact a while back I had a thread here regarding a bright flash of light that accompanied me at times of great stress and despair. It manifested as a mischievous flash of light to my right that moved more and more excitedly to the front of vision the deeper I meditated. Thing is, I just realised that it was always accompanied by a feeling of a warm, loving, hug. Call me mad but that is what I felt I experienced. Don't know if that's related to empathy though.



[edit on 16-8-2007 by Il Papa]

I am not sure if I am actually a psychic empath but I do know that I am channeling a force to my dad when we are not in the same room. I can tell it bothers him and he seems a bit scared of me. Maybe I have a paranoid personality disorder.

reply to post by SitsinShadow


SitsinShadow

I have not been one for this paranormal stuff but I am beginning to be a little enlightened. Even now there are times it can be daft and or overwhelming.

I get what you are saying. Your "empathic energy wall" sounds real deal to me. I was not really aware of this "empathy" malarkey. I always thought that it was just a matter of visualising yourself in the situation of a stressed, pained living thing. It was just that some time back someone walked up to me at a body and health fair type thing and said something like..."I don't know how to say this, it is going to seem strange but are you empathic?". I thought she was one of the new age weirdies trying to sell me a dose of the latest "snake oil".

I had seen her enter the hall previous and don't know why I looked up but she didn't look at me or see me looking. I am not kidding within a few minutes she walked straight up and said that!! I could feel a "joining" somewhere near the solar plexus and we walked round a bit and spent the rest of the day talking.

Apparently, she walked straight over to me because she felt some pull towards me!! She seemed to know what was going on in my head..which believe me is scary. But basically she said I need to find a way of dealing with my emotions or they will destroy me!!

Now with the passing of time I think I can begin to see whats occurring. I believe I am picking up emotions empathically and they are manifesting real-time with me, so I need to deal with them. I have had a life crisis or two in the last 5 years and have been emotionally overwhelmed..I would say almost suicidally.

Someone suggested a while back a similar thing to your suggestion. It went something like this:

1) When you wake in the morning, stand by the bed, imagine your feet rooted to the Earths core, like a giant tree root.
2) Visualise a white light coming up from the ground and spiraling up beyond you.
3) Imagine a golden eggshell surrounding you and project happy feelings towards it.

She also said that once you got that and felt you need more protection picture mirrors reflecting the outside negative emotions out...something like that, anyway. It is strange but this lass was the second person to pick up this empathy thing...weird species the female human!!

It seemed to work but was it a "placebo" type affect? Anyhow I stopped doing it, I had a partner who was spooked by new agey weirdness and I didn't think I needed it anymore.

I seem to be able to meditate quite well so I used to just breath out negativity and in with goodness. I thought it worked.

Thing is now, sitting here thinking of this, I had a very negative partner, who did not show her feelings. I lived with her for a long time and when she left I was devastated. But here's the thing. Everyone I work with have told me I am a better person since she left. I am more positive and have stopped moaning!!!I realised when going into town today that I do not have the weight of the world on my shoulders. It is strange because financial and day to day things are a lot more difficult and I know that when I was with her I would barely have been able to cope. I live totally alone and cannot believe how happy I am.

I am really beginning to wonder if her negative feelings over those years, were manifesting in me instead of her. Sounds feasible to me...if there is really an empathic psychic whatever. If that is the case, I do really have difficulty in separating my feelings from empathised feelings.

I believe that I am coping now by the fact that I can recharge my batteries at home and when walking in the local forest....listening to birds, listening to the river and feeling good about the world in general.

reply to post by Renshin


Hey, I get what you mean about the broken, eaten heart. I do get a kind of "welling up" of the eyes and that solar plexus thing.

Just thought though. Why is it I only seem to get the "crap" feelings? Does anyone get the good stuff? Or is it that when your happy, joyous etc you are just happy because you are happy...you do not self analyse it? But when its a sad or bad feeling we try to analyse it?

I mean when someone dies we ask Why? Why them? Why so soon? etc. But when someone is born or marries we just accept it. When we break up from a loved one we ask why? When we meet and fall in love when don't ask we just do it!!!

This is really thought provoking stuff.

It is weird, because proportionately, there is very little on the "empathic" gift..if there is such a thing...on the web or in the library...mostly seems to come under psychology...like its an illness..maybe they are right

chill, you arent going to do any harm, I think you should talk to him alot more because it seems like you want to but cant really find the appropriate time or situation. just try to bring out his human side. you do the same. Hummor helps. a tense situation can be laughed off if it is with some one you trust to accept what you are saying without bias or subversion.

[edit on 18-8-2007 by newyorkee]

reply to post by lseekingtruthl


Hi you say you are channeling a force to your dad? In what way do you think he is scared of you? How can you tell he feels this? Do you feel he is scared empathically?

I am no expert by any means, but if you are channeling to him, is it possible that whatever gift, you believe you have, is in fact genetic and he can feel you "probing"? Maybe the answer is as simple as not probing the gentleman. I must confess, I have stopped thinking of people just in case these days. I am sure that there is more going on than science knows...there is definitely more going on than I know!!!

As for control, I think I have taken the cowards way out for now and live mostly in seclusion..except for work and I am loving it...for now...

The posts above outline some of my attempts to control "it". I am beginning to think that maybe rather than control it, I should use it. But lets not run before I can walk

For me I know the I have to make an effort not to focus on negative things
or they amplify to those around me.
I have found yoga and meditation very calming and I have been able to centre myself somewhat.
Try not to let feelings of guilt about whats happening overwhelm you,
it is possible there is some other reason why your Dad seems to feel the way he does. Not necessarily something bad.
Perhaps you should work on this thing together.
All I can suggest and do some focusing excercies to increase your discipline. Keeping myself centred has done wonders for me.
There are lots of different threads here in the paranormal section about the subject.
The techniques are numerous so find something that works for you.
It's hard and takes time but I have felt that the results are worth it.
Good luck and try not to worry so much, I don't think you are nuts.

thanks guys, I should stop thinking so bad of it. There has to be a way I can make this a positive thing instead of a negative thing. I will try meditating and just relax.

Keep the good words going!!

Originally posted by earthchild
For me I know the I have to make an effort not to focus on negative things
or they amplify to those around me.
I have found yoga and meditation very calming and I have been able to centre myself somewhat.
Try not to let feelings of guilt about whats happening overwhelm you,
it is possible there is some other reason why your Dad seems to feel the way he does. Not necessarily something bad.
Perhaps you should work on this thing together.
All I can suggest and do some focusing excercies to increase your discipline. Keeping myself centred has done wonders for me.
There are lots of different threads here in the paranormal section about the subject.
The techniques are numerous so find something that works for you.
It's hard and takes time but I have felt that the results are worth it.
Good luck and try not to worry so much, I don't think you are nuts.

hey.. actually if I think about it, i am going through the same thing.

Did you find a way to reverse it? to spread positive? I guess its all on our perception huh?

I have something to add.

I have not been going out for awhile now but today I went to buy a plant for my mother and there was a carnival right there. I was waiting for the lady to finish decorating the plant while taking a stroll around the activities. Well I was walking around and people seemed very aware of me. Acouple people just walked up to me and looked at my face and when I went to look at them they looked puzzled. I think I am projecting my own awareness to people.

My dad opens a can of beer right when he comes home now....

I have been meditating for three years now, working on blocking empathic input. However, I think the more important battle is strengthening the base of your own emotional energy to the point that these natural feelings create their own block. It's important not to think of empathic abilities as something that need to have an extra defense like a wall...all that is needed to keep yourself from being overwhelmed is learning to separate your own emotions from the external emotions.

It took me a while to realize this important idea. I have been at hospitals for a good part of the past three years and such settings force an empathically-inclined individual to face their skills. What I'm saying is to not be afraid of what's coming in...be resolute in what's already there.

There is a name for this type of empathy. It is called clairsentience. It is when you actually feel the emotions of another. It is important to learn how to distinguish between your feelings and someone else's. It's also VERY important to learn that just because another might be angry, for example, that they are not necessarily angry with YOU. And, even if their anger is directed towards you, it might well be misplaced anger on their part - so it's very important to be able to distinguish between when you have done something that might have deservedely activated their anger and when it's just their issue, i.e. you haven't done anything to provoke their anger. Hope this makes sense.
It's difficult to discuss these things because we don't have words for them in our modern vocabularies.
As someone else said, it's important to keep your own self grounded. The exercises people have mentioned are very good ones.
THe thing that helped me the most was 5 years therapy with a Jungian therapist. She helped me to learn about how to separate my feelings from other's feelings. And she helped me strengthen my sense of self, so that I wasn't constantly letting myself be held hostage by other's feelings.
It's still difficult for me at times, but not nearly as much as it used to be.

Now, as for the upside of being highly empathic: You can often figure out when someone has not so good intentions towards you, i.e. they are jealous of you for example, or have wrongly projected their own hatred, etc. on to you. Forewarned is forearmed, right? You can also use it to help people. My friends know that there isn't much that escapes me when it comes to them being troubled. So when I approach them and tell them I know something isn't right with them, they either open up or they are surprised I figured it out when they, themselves, weren't even aware of soemthing bothering them! They';re always grateful, though.
As a therapist, I learned to ask questions that helped people to open up and talk about what was going on with them. That talent, together with having some control over your own empathy, makes for a powerful healer and a force to accomplish some good on this Planet.
Hope this helps, at least some.

I think you'd feel better if you start thinking more positive. I used to hate my dad for all his faults. Then I felt sorry for him. Then I tried to understand him. Now I just accept him for who he is and we get along great. It'll never erase any bad things that ever happened (nothing too bad, just my grudges & his emotional neglect parenting) but I don't care about the past now so things are a lot better & that particular relationship is just fine. You're dwelling too much on stuff with your dad methinks. Try to let it go.

Thank you all....

I know it is because of me that my parents are in distress, I think I should just leave for awhile until I get things straight.

reply to post by lseekingtruthl


you can control it by visualizing a circle of light around your body, like a barrier. that will help maintain boundaries. you definately want to do that. you don't want to be "open" at all times. Too much