posted on Apr, 25 2007 @ 01:29 PM
So I'm sittin' here doin' some thinkin'........... I had a long weekend, and it was rainin' everyday, so I decided to rent a good movie to watch.
So I ride my fancy Schwinn bicycle to the video store. I was goin' so fast on my fancy bike that the tassels on my handle bars were like stickin'
straight out and stuff. I was passin' people on the street, and I'd ring my really cool jingle bell when I got right behind them, then would wizz
right on by like goin' really fast. I bet those people were so surprised! So I get to the movie store and I start lookin' for a really cool movie.
So I find this really cool movie called The Neverending Story. So I says to the Clerk:
"Hey Clerk, how much to rent this movie?"
And he says "Three Bucks."
So I says: "No I mean THIS movie."
And he says: "Three bucks."
Man! What a bargain! So I rent the movie, and go flyin' back home. I set up my really fancy 14" B&W Zenith TV, and my really cool VHS. Then I get
some beer, and chips, and sit down. It's startin' to rain out there, this is perfect! So I flip on the movie, and start watchin' and stuff. Those
Hollywood people are such liars! Neverending Story my butt! It was only like 2 hours long or somethin'.....
So I says to myself, Self? What would be the perfect movie.........
C'mon brain do some good thinkin' here.................
Hmmmmm........... The perfect movie, the perfect movie...........
The Passion Of The Christ? Hmmmmm, that was a pretty good movie I'll say. Jesus was pretty tough all right. But it would have been better if Jesus
had like these really cool "Son Of God Laser Beams" shootin' out of his eyes takin' out those who were beatin' him. Or even better! If Jackie
Chan played Jesus! I bet the ending would sure be different if he used really cool "Savior Kung-Fu" and stuff. Nope not perfect.
The Wizard of OZ? That was a pretty cool movie. It would be so cool to fly around in your house in a big tornado and land somewhere over that rainbow.
All that singin', and really fancy yellow road. Yep that's a good movie. But I don't like those flyin' monkies though. I think flyin' monkies
suck. They think they're so cool, flyin' around terrorizin' people and stuff. That movie would be better if Dorothy was like a punk rocker chick,
and Toto was a Pit Bull. And instead of Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion, you'd have Freddy Kruger, Terminator, and the Shark from that movie Jaws. And
like whenever they sing, they're all playin' heavy metal guitars, and Dorothy is singin' like a punk rock chick. Yeah! That would be so cool! And
when those apple trees start throwin' those apples - Freddy, Terminator, and Jaws smack those trees down. I bet those trees would be so surprised!
And like when they get to Emerald City, the wizard is like this really cool warlock and stuff. Wait! In the end, instead of Dorothy wakin' up because
she got knocked out in the tornadoe, she would wake up from a bad acid trip! Oh man, That is perfect!
Brain, you should be a producer!