posted on Feb, 14 2007 @ 12:40 PM
Then there was this time that I tested these shady male enhancement
pills. It was supposedly all on the hush-hush, but they needn't have
worried because I don't think the damn things worked anyways. I spent
a month with my handy-dandy tape measure and noticed no discernable
increase whatsoever. And I was a- hoping! You see, with me, it's always
been "what happens next" type of thinking. I test things, and I wait to see
what happens next. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. Tried those
little blue pills when they first came out years ago, you know, the V-pills?
Now that was back when they were still experimenting with the formula,
and I do believe they were somewhat stronger then. Let me tell you, if
today all you have to worry about is a four hour erection, well that's
nothing at all. Try eight or ten hours! Yeah, and you'd be surprised at all
the things you "can't" do when you're in that state. Alot of down time
caused by all the up time, know what I mean?
But, I'm getting away from the subject matter here and I want to
re-emphasize the fact that I'm a professional. A professional tester. And
recently I've been involved in a test that's scaring the holy bejesus out of
me. The pay is so good that I'd probably be better off keeping my mouth
shut about the whole thing. ( breaks to re-light cigarette ). But something
ain't right and I'm worried. I'll try to explain things by referencing some
articles I've read, so bear with me.
I read alot of newspapers. Lately, I've been reading alot about these new
self-extinguishing cigarettes that are catching on. Guess what? I've been
testing them for the tobacco companies! Yeah, me. They give me all the
cigarettes I want, pay me good money to smoke them, and then all they
want me to do is to fill out a questionaire from time to time. Pretty cool
isn't it? Saves me lots of money. But I read some articles and I really
1.) Letter to the Berkshire Eagle newspaper, Feb. 14,2006. Discussion of
current legislation, (HB1914 and SB1345) to require cigarettes to be
2.) "Cigarette fires cause for slow burn", Burlington Free Press,
Burlington,VT March 16,2006.
3.) "Where there's smoke . . .", Baltimore Sun,Baltimore, MD. March 23.06.
4.) "Building a "fire-safe" cigarette", The Boston Globe, Boston, Ma.
April 29, 2006.
5.) "Fire-Safe" for all", Westchester County, NY May 14, 2006.
6.) "Cigarette Fire Safety", a letter to the editor of USA Today.
May 19, 2006.
I understand the underlining factor here is people dying from fires being
started from smoldering cigarettes. And making the cigarettes self-
extinguishing would probably save hundreds of lives a year. But . . . .
what you don't know is "how" they're doing it! I know, because I've got
the inside information and it ain't pretty.
( hold on while I re-light my cigarette )