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Newz Forum: OTHER: Dean's List: The Greatest Store on Turf

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posted on Nov, 30 2004 @ 03:24 PM
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When his run as coach of the Rams comes to an end, alleged offensive genius Mike Martz should open up a chain of convenience stores in the St. Louis area...
 

The catch? Every store is furnished with Astroturf. The tag line? The Greatest Store on Turf. The name? Simple: Mike Martz...

Regardless of the name, its spelling is always subjective. Just ask Vikings quarterback Daunte Culepepper, Hawks guard Donta Smith, Texans cornerback Dunta Robinson, Chiefs kick returner Dante Hall, and Grizzlies forward Dahntay Jones...

Oh, and don't forget to run it by Titans running back Antowain Smith, Hawks forward Antoine Walker, Wizards forward Antawn Jamison, Broncos defensive end Anton Palepoi, Texans linebacker Antwan Peek, and Steelers wide receiver and special teams ace, Antwaan Randle El...

Speaking of Randle El, is "Randle" the end of his first name or the beginning of his last name? In other words, is his first name "Antwaan Randle"? Or is his last name "Randle El"? Regardless, shouldn't there be a hyphen somewhere? Or is "Randle" his middle name?

And what's the deal with the "El"? Where does it come from? Is it some kind of misplaced Spanish article? Or is something - or someone - getting lost in translation here? And what about Randall Cunningham? Could he have used an "El"? Would that have been a difference maker in his career? Would Randall "El" Cunningham have been a better player than plain old Randall Cunningham? And where the hell was I?

That said, the name of the game is Letters: Antwaan Randle El...Dee Brown...Ron Cey...Tee Martin...Jay Bell...Don Beebe...and Vijay Singh...

When I say "Pro Bowler," do you think of a PBA competitor or an NFL all-star?

When I say "T-Mac," do you think of Houston Rocket Tracy McGrady or bumbling baseball analyst Tim McCarver?

When I say "T-Bar," do you think of Giants running back Tiki Barber or a bunny slope ski tow?

And when I say "Iron Man," do you think of Brett Favre, Lou Gehrig, Cal Ripken, a comic book superhero, or a highly domesticated man with a distinct knack for ironing?

200 starts later, Brett Favre has done more than become the NFL's Lou Gehrig, the reigning Iron Man of Sport. He's done more than put the title back in Titletown. And he's done more than help the Packers win more games (133) than any other NFL franchise in the past thirteen seasons. (Favre took the job in Week Two of the '92 season and never looked back.) Over the years, Brett Favre has evolved into the quintessential American hero, the face of America's Sport. His flare for the dramatic transcends script, so much so that it has become expected if not taken for granted. And in making the spectacular seem unspectacular, Favre has led the most spectacular of careers. Without ever skipping a beat, he has fought the good fight and lived to tell, battling opposing defenses, addiction and numerous personal tragedies that would have smothered most mortal men. He is a man's man, a modern-day warrior, a hero for the ages, a superlative among clich├ęs. And he always will be. I'm Dean Christopher...

[Edited on 11/30/04 by deanchristopher]




 
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