Newz Forum: OTHER: The Sports Curmudgeon on Vince Carter, Ricky Williams, Terrell Owens & Andy Reid

Today is Thanksgiving. I hope that all of you have a wonderful time spending the day with people who are important to you. In case you think that is not a very curmudgeonly sentiment, let me point out that "curmudgeon" and "misanthrope" are not synonyms.

But just to show you that my cup does not runneth over with the milk of human kindness; let me say that I hope Martha Stewart spends her time on Thanksgiving in her cell and not in the kitchen preparing her favorite recipe of onion chutney and apples on baked brie crostinis. I hope her dinner menu is hot dogs and canned baked beans.

We now know that the "cup thrower" in the Ron Artest Incident has a name - and allegedly a series of convictions for aggravated assault and DWI. That has caused some people to say that maybe the incident has to be re-evaluated. Nonsense! Ron Artest had no idea that the guy who threw the cup at him was a less than fully wonderful member of society when he went charging into the stands. In fact, if you argue that Artest has some justification on the basis of the poor character of the cup thrower, then you'll have to explain why and how he managed to go and slug the wrong guy. I don't care if Charles Manson was the guy who threw the cup of ice/liquid at him; Ron Artest's actions cannot be justified or condoned. What he did was wrong.

We also saw Artest on TV yesterday but it was not in a contrite or conciliatory light. His answer to just about any question about the incident was either "The tape speaks for itself," or "Things happen and then you move on; I'm moving on." OK, so let me react to those comments:

The tape certainly does speak for itself. You began the confrontation in a constructive way when you did not duke it out with Ben Wallace. Lying down on the scorer's table was not constructive and was not something that was likely to continue any "calming down processes" that might have begun to emerge here. Reacting to getting wet from a cup of liquid thrown on you the way you did was outrageously bad behavior and probably crosses into "sociopathic" territory.

Things indeed do happen and then people do move on because they don't have any choice. But using that "logic" let me say that you should not appeal your suspension because the suspension is a "thing" and it "happened" and you should just "move on". Same thing with the civil suits you are going to face as a result of this melee. It happened; pay the money and move on.

The University of Washington may not have a football team worth the time and energy it would take to blow it away; but according to an item in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, the university has claimed a spot near the pinnacle of politically correct nonsense. The University of Washington will no longer have Homecoming Queens and Kings because of the exclusionary nature of the categories "king" and "queen". From now on, the University of Washington will honor "non-gender-specific royalty" in their Homecoming celebrations. What a crock of crap!

In another bizarre incident, Vince Carter has said that he is not going to dunk anymore because he wants to work on the fundamental aspects of his game and to improve them in an overall sense so that he can take his game to the next level. Actually, what this is all about is that he wants to take his game to the next city. He wants to be traded; Toronto is afraid that it will lose its only asset that comes close to a "drawing card" if they trade him. So to force the hand, Carter says he will turn his game into plain vanilla. The Raptors and Nets should trade Carter for Jason Kidd. Both teams will still stink but the players will have "gotten their wish to be traded" and they can both suffer in new venues. Won't happen, but it is nice to ponder such an outcome.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, Ricky Williams has enrolled in a school to study holistic medicine. California College of Ayurveda turns out Clinical Ayurvedic Specialists who seek to understand patients' physically, emotionally and spiritually. With that understanding, these Clinical Ayurvedic Specialists can identify "areas of disharmony between a client's actions, his or her constitution and environment". With that identification/diagnosis, that allows the practitioner to set the patient on a path on a "journey to optimal health". That info comes from the College's website; I didn't make up a word of it. Maybe Ricky Williams was attracted to the place because its address is in Grass Valley California? It's possible.

Paul McCartney will be the headliner for the Super Bowl Halftime Show this year. Let me be one of the first to say that if he has a wardrobe malfunction and exposes his sexagenarian man-boobs, that will be at least as tasteless as what Janet Jackson did last year. As is the case every year, I will view the halftime extravaganza as a case of constipation; I merely want it to pass quickly.

When Terrell Owens arrived in Philly, he had a training camp "disconnect" with Andy Reid over whether or not he had to wear shorts over his spandex tights. Reid said he had to. Supposedly, Reid also said that if Owens caught 15 TD passes this year, he would not have to wear the shorts over the tights and that Reid would wear the spandex. Owens caught his 13th TD pass last Sunday against the Redskins meaning that if he gets two more of them, the world might be exposed to a picture of Andy Reid in spandex. Folks, Planet Earth is not ready for that. Neither is Planet Reid ready for pulling on a spandex outfit.

Finally, a good line from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald:

"What a thrilling season finish for NASCAR in Homestead, huh? If only there hadn't been that late caution flag when several Detroit Pistons fans ran onto the track."

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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