Why are these things never simple?

I split with my girlfriend of two and a half years, six weeks ago. I'm enjoying a bit of freedom and space, but there is a new girl I like, we get on great, It's clear we both like each other, but of course things are never this simple. She has a boyfriend, not only that, but I know him, not a close friend by any means but I know him pretty well.

I've only known her for about a month but we have a real laugh together and my friends and her friends all say in private that we should get together. Before I get accused of being a scumbag trying to steal someone's girl, this girl and I live in London while her boyfriend lives in Wales! On top of that I know another girl this boy went out with for a couple of years, and he treated her like crap, so maybe he doesn't treat this girl I like very well either.

I spoke to her best friend the other day, she said we need to have a talk to sort things out, but I think if I put her on the spot, she will take the easy way out and blow me out. However if I just carry on getting to know her maybe she'll realise that the grass is greener on the other side herself. I really like this girl, but feel a bit bad about the whole situation.

So, should I confront her and risk ending our relationship before it even starts or play the waiting game and see how things pan out?

All advice is welcome, this is uncharted territory for me.

Well this may help you and may not. It's something I wrote a while back during similar type Relationship Troubles and I posted it here at ATS. Give it a read if you want as you may find something you need. If nothing else it will atleast distract you from thinking about your problems for a short while!

www.belowtopsecret.com...

Play the waiting game...

And while you're waiting....try to find out if her current relationship is working for her and if she really loves this guy... History is hard to defeat, and if they have a lot of history together, you may have your work cut out for you.

Bottom line though, you don't want to be a scumbag and ruin a good relationship, but if it's already on shaky ground...you're not such a bad guy... In the end, it's her decision, so you shouldn't feel too guilty about it... After all, who knows what he's doing in Wales!!!??? He may already have another girl that she doesn't even know about! But do yourself a favor...find out, you'll feel better....

Wa-hey, I know the feeling - not breaking up after 2 1/2 years, but the chick-in-a-shaky-relationship thing. I have absolutely no idea what you should do, to be honest.

A mate of mine really had the hots for his best mate's girl... when they broke up, he and the girl got together (at the cost of his best mate's friendship). They've been together over a year now, and they're practically married.

But, like Gazrok says, I think you should just wait it out, sound out what your prospects are. You may be surprised - just beware of the jealous boyfriend.

I wrote a huge response to this last night, and the computer crashed :bnghd:

So I'll just say thanx and that I hope the wait is worth it, I'm going to meet her and other friends in pub tonight, so who knows where life will take me next.

Mojom, your story is really cool, I don't have time to say any more than that, as I would like to write you a longer response. You will heart from me soon.

Gazrok, I agree, well said.

-never mind-

[Edited on 28-11-2003 by LeenBekkemaa]