posted on Dec, 13 2006 @ 08:04 PM
I don't believe in the concept of "soul mate."
It's is a fantasy--the idea that someone will come into your environment, and be somehow magically suited to match your every need.
If the fantasy came true for you, then you wouldn't need to do the difficult emotional work of learning to love someone in spite of their
If you are a healthy, sane, nice person, I think you should be able to form a positive relationship with about 1 person in 5 of the opposite and/or
desired sex. Probably more of them than that. If you cannot achieve that, it's not because they are all skanks, it's because you're being
I've posted before that it's all a question of numbers. The current generation of young lovers are not willing to do the work of meeting several
dozen suitors: they just pick the first person that doesn't steal from them, and then they hope for the best.
Most of the people in my office are younger than me (I'm early 40's). I listen to your horror stories, and just cringe for you.
I think a big problem is the death of dating. The idea that you will take the other person some place special (and actually risk your own money on a
good time) and treat them with respect, and work at entertaining them, before you spawn.
I've been married for a decade, to the same woman. Are we "soul mates?" Maybe. But she is hot, smart and rich enough that I know I could always
be replaced, if I pulled some kind of crap. Same with her. I CHOOSE to love her, and I treat her as good as possible, overlooking her faults and
overcoming my own, to make our relationship work.
Life is so good because we MAKE it. It isn't fate, or luck, or the stars. It's a decade of fidelity, hard work, and forbearance. It just so
happens that she's the best LADY I've ever met, and so she's been worth it.
I did have to date about 40 or so women to meet her. But I've always been satisfied that our pairing was extremely fortunate for me--the best I'll
ever do, without a doubt.
But again, it wasn't something that HAPPENED to us. It's the reality we've CREATED together.