This is futile, we should just live.

I've read all the books, I've researched all the websites, I've dug very,very deep into spiritual teachings. All of these things have ruined me.
I should have just spent my time preparing for my future and building wealth.
I have been deeply grieved by the inhumanity against children and women, religious persecution, racial persecution, the injustices done to average people in the past and now. I have felt it so much that all I can feel is sorrow now, if only I could do something. The truth is we can't do anything.
We can post here saying the sky is falling and living in fear or jest about every single development or prediction. What does it really matter? The world has always been ending, people have always lived under the threat of annihilation and the threat of servitude to cruel overlords. What has changed in the past thousand years?
I realize now that my need to know what is really going on in this world has made me clinically depressed and borderline suicidal. There is nothing we can do. I am a Christian and have had a very close personal relationship with God, but now I feel nothing. If he exists he will not intercede, why do I care more for humanity than He does? I would gladly trade myself for a child in say Rwanda, I would let myself be raped and tortured in exchange for saving a child from that fate. Does God do anything? I've just realized that if He exists he must be a cruel, harsh deity.
I have wasted so much time in thought, prayer and study on this subject, who cares who rules the world? Why didn't I just spend my time focused on cultivating my own life and advancement?

I needed to vent. Thanks for letting me do so.

Kinda strange you put this in war on terror.
But i do feel what you feel, its like when you wake up outside of your own selfish bubble, you realise whats sooo wrong about this world and ALOT of people in it.

And yes, can make you easily depressed, when i hear what goes on in this world, it does not seem fair, the good die young and the bad seem to get away with it.

I too believe in God, and have been tested on what i believe constantly, none of it seems to make sense.

I believe we have a soul, and how we use that is up to us.
I only hope more people wake up and realise that life does not revolve around themselves.

[edit on 23-6-2006 by Denied]

Good post drsone I feel the same as far as the world is concerned, but also about the whole conspiracy thing.

I do sit here sometimes reading the posts and think to myself that certain members must lead a pretty sad existance if there whole life is spent worrying about things that usually are'nt affecting them directly. Then again i'm no different, i can be just as bad at this at times and it's not for me to pass judgement on anyone else.

I think the secret is to find a balance. When you sit there at the end of the night and you know more about what has progressed in the life of the world, than of your own, thats the time to sit back and rethink things. If we take a break from the conspiracy world for a few days, our world won't crumble, and despite what some people here may think, the powers that be certainly won't give a damn. The world will still carry on with it's daily business, whether that be corrupt or positive.

As they say, you beome what you focus consistantly. If you focus on something positive and productive for you, you'll become that. If you spend the whole day surrounded by paranoia and negative rantings, well i don't have to spell it out do i?

I wonder how many people here actually try going a whole month not worrying or taking any part in discussion about conspiracies, or worrying about how the world is going to go to rat poo next? I wonder how much you'd get done in that month and how you'd feel? I'm not saying that we should all be selfish, it's becoause people care and worry, that we have the support in the world that we do.

I'm not really that religous to be honest, i feel that my destiny is determined by me and no-one else. The last time i sat on my backside for a week, it was'nt God or anyone else that got me going again. It was me.

However ......in total contradiction of my above post, i'm not referring to the 3 amigos, who without thier daily efforts we would'nt have such a great site!

CX.



[edit on 23/6/06 by CX]