Choosing where you focus your attention is probably the best advice I can give (and you have already realized that). We all have 'good' things and
'bad' things in our lives. I've noticed that focusing on the 'negative' is sure to bring a person down. And focusing and being grateful for the
'positive' things will help pick a person up.
Years ago, I had to point out to my husband the beauty in how the tree meets the sky. Look at the brilliant green on the background of vibrant blue.
How thankful can you be that you have sight? How fortunate you are to have your home, your family (whatever that looks like) a warm place to sleep,
food to eat, love in your life. I mean, if you start looking around, you'll find all sorts of things to be grateful for. Your intelligence. The
person you are.
Can you look in the mirror and truly APPRECIATE who you are? The choices you have made. Can you find something to be proud of about yourself? Write
them down. And when the negative stuff comes in, just say that's not what you're looking for and move on.
Being happy isn't something that is bestowed upon you from some external person, place or situation. It's something you create.
comes from within you. It's a decision you make. And soon, focusing on the wonder and beauty in your life becomes a habit. (As does focusing on the
Here's an example of what I mean. Three things in my life that I have made focus choices about...
Some 'negative' stuff:
1. My husband has been in another state working for a year and 4 months.
2. I had breast cancer and had to have a full mastectomy.
3. I have a sciatica (lower back) condition that gives me constant, chronic pain. Sometimes (now) it 'flares up' and I'm out of commission for days
and in GREAT pain.
Some 'positive' stuff:
1. My husband and I are more in love than EVER (after 15 years) and I am so proud of the hard work we've put into our marriage. We have not only
survived this separation (which is ending very soon), we have thrived! Our love has grown.
2. I found the cancer in time to save my life. I am alive!
3. I'm so fortunate that I don't have to work outside the home so when my back does its thing, I have the luxury of just taking care of myself.
I think you'll agree that if I just read the first three over and over again and thought about them, I would soon be in a deep depression. But if I
focused on the other three, I'm ready to jump for joy! My point is that finding and focusing of the positive leaves NO ROOM in my life for being
Now, I'm not saying I never get down. I do. But I make a choice every day to be happy and by now it's habit.
Don't know if this helps, but it's something to consider.