Sexuality and reincarnation-we are all bisexual!!!

Originally posted by desert
By continuum I mean a line with complete heterosexuality at one end and complete homosexuality at the other. A person who feels equal attraction to men and women could be in the middle, let's say. Every person falls somewhere on this line. (I guess if a person is "asexual", they would not even be on this line.) This explanation sure fits my Life's observations.

Mine too. And I've had a lot of experience. I went to one of those weird old-fashioned boys' schools where sodomy was rife and even gay rape was not unheard of. At a certain pre-pubertal stage, there was considerable peer pressure to be gay. A lot of boys had homosexual encounters at this juncture, but in most cases, stopped having them when they left school. Their experiments with gay sex probably helped them find their true place on desert's continuum of sexuality. It was a straight place, and once they found it, they stuck to it.

So it was for me. I did conceive a vague crush on another boy in what you'd call ninth grade, but neither of us was really gay, so nothing came of it; instead, we've remained lifelong friends. I suspect there is a fairly strong homosexual component in my makeup, but in the end it's women who get me excited... far too excited for my own good, I'm afraid.

There were, of course, boys at my school who were gay from the start. This was understood and accepted to a degree that seems extraordinary to me when I think about it now. The chapel steps -- from where one could see over, and be seen by, most of the 'upper school' -- was the place where the pretty boys hung out. Nobody harrassed them or beat them up; the straight seniors regarded them more or less as mascots, and protected them. Some of these boys were the best and funniest talkers, with a fine line in whiplash humour, and that was how they gained acceptance. The school also had a strong literary and theatrical tradition and many gays gravitated naturally towards these activities. As I was interested in literature and theatre myself, I made a lot of gay friends in my teens. I kept up these interests in later life, so there've always been gay people in my life. If being gay really were a choice, I should probably have given it a whirl by now.

As for lesbians... during the Eighties and Nineties I had an nine-year relationship, by far the most fulfilling of my life, with a woman who finally accepted that she was gay when she was past the age of thirty. The realization collapsed our relationship. I loved her dearly and it almost killed me when she left me for another woman. The thing is, she loved me just as dearly and leaving practically killed her as well. It was harder for her than for me; she'd been repressing the fact of her gayness since puberty and the pressure had finally become unbearable. She has another life now, in a different circle from the one I inhabit, but we remain as close as a non-cohabiting couple can be; a closeness that has caused some of the other women who have passed through my life since to complain that she still means more to me than they do. They aren't altogether wrong: she is my best friend and I love her still, though (to my amazement) I have completely ceased to find her attractive in a physical way.

I have met numerous lesbians through my ex. Like her, many of them have had relationships, often quite fulfilling ones, with men. A few move easily back and forth between male and female partners. I think it's easier for women to be bisexual than it is for men; their sexuality doesn't seem to be as firmly fixed as ours.

Q, you're right in a way: everyone (or nearly everyone) is bisexual to some degree. These differences of degree form the continuum of sexuality to which desert refers. The statistical distribution probably isn't a bell curve, though, but something more along the lines of an inverted bell curve. Every human being stands on it somewhere, even -- in my opinion -- the ones who would like to believe they are asexual.

Originally posted by Astyanax
Nobody harrassed them or beat them up; the straight seniors regarded them more or less as mascots, and protected them.

That is quite a story! I cannot see that happening in the school that I was sent to as a child, not in a million years. I went to a residential military school here in the US and I can say for certain that if any student(boy or girl) professed any homosexual tendencies it was taken very seriously and he/she was removed from the system. No exceptions! The whole schools system is designed only for heterosexuals, the cultural events, the proms, the balls, etc were all meant to promote the heterosexual attitude and there was little or no tolerance those who remained outside the system.
The situation was such that homosexuality was treated like necrophillia or cannibalism! As a result there was an immense aversion to homosexuality, almost a physical repulsion! It wasnt hate but repulsion like when one encounters feces or worse. But despite all this there were some who later professed they were gay and this upbringing they had made them wrecks mentally, one guy I know actually committed suicide! This wasnt like in the 50's or something, this was in the late 80's to early 90's and the system still continues thought I guess the aversion has come down through outside exposure.

The dichotomies between the systems is shocking but I guess these were different times, different places and different cultures so there's really no comparison!

I think it's easier for women to be bisexual than it is for men; their sexuality doesn't seem to be as firmly fixed as ours.

I have found this to be true too, they see it as some sisterhood/bonding exercise from what I've been told. And apparently it is trendy for women to claim that they are "bisexual"!

. Every human being stands on it somewhere, even -- in my opinion -- the ones who would like to believe they are asexual.

Replace 'Asexual' with 'Homosexual' and you could be accused of being a homophobe! In this case it would be 'Asexual phobia' (for lack of a better term!)

Originally posted by IAF101

Originally posted by Astyanax
Every human being stands on it somewhere, even -- in my opinion -- the ones who would like to believe they are asexual.

Replace 'Asexual' with 'Homosexual' and you could be accused of being a homophobe! In this case it would be 'Asexual phobia' (for lack of a better term!)

That's true. I hadn't considered it. I have an intuitive sense that 'asexual' folk are, for the most part, those who are uncomfortable with their sexuality or maybe with any kind of sexuality. Possibly there are physical (possibly hormonal) issues involved too.

I was thinking of people like Morrissey (the singer) and Stephen Fry (the actor), both of whom once claimed to be asexual but do so no longer. In Morrissey's case, he's finally accepted the truth about himself, which everybody else saw years ago: namely, that he is gay. I don't know about Mr. Fry.

Nevertheless, I stand corrected and extend my sincere apologies to anyone who might have found that statement of mine offensive.