A little advise plzzz

Okay, my last relationship ended a while ago and I haven't dated for a while since. Now I met this girl a while ago online, big surprise since I spend so much time on the computer and we have been talking and chatting for a while since. Now in about two weeks we are going to meet in person...we both have our safety precautions in place should on the off chance one of us be a serial killer... and she is one of the most beautiful girls that I have known, not to mention drop dead gorgeous. Now I've made it bluntly obvious that I like her, she's done the same and for this first meeting in two weeks, I was looking for a few idea's of what to do.

So far my one idea is that I'm going to bring her six roses, 5 white and one red or 5 red and one white and then use a line that I normally write in my poetry, along the lines of "Beauty may be everywhere but there's always one that stands out"....yah, I know, chessy, but that basically describes me.

Her favourite rose colour is white, so which one should I do if I go through with it 5 white and 1 red or 5 red with one white or should I try for something else totally? I'm pretty much a lost cause in these situations but I really like her and want to make her feel special. It took a lot to get past all her emotional walls and I don't want to mess anything up, especially since she actually likes me for who I am with all weird interests and strange beliefs, which is very very rare.

Anyway, thanks in advance, any replies or advice would be greatly apprieated.

Fire&Ice Roses are real nice if you can find them. Its a mixture of red with splashes of white in them. The parchment colored ones are nice too (Kind of a Rust colored rose). Red usually stands for love...this way she won't think you are a stalker lol Asian Star Orchids are real awesome too..very aromatic and they look nice. Just a little expensive tho. Not sure if this is the season for them yet.
Good luck on the meet! Hope you guys have fun.

Pie

forget the roses for now. just meet her, be yourself and let the imaginary relationship become a real one.

when she leaves, you place the call so that there are a dozen roses waiting for her when she returns. 11 white and one red. use your cheesy (but smooth nonetheless) line in the card.

why 11 white and one red? one red rose is supposed to stand for love and if she likes white roses, you might as well give her more of what she likes.

My post took so long to type that I missed someone elses post. I actually a agree with Chakeur in that you should completely hold off on the roses [or any flowers]. But aside from that, I think my advice wasn't contradicting anywhere else.....so here ya go:

Nice idea Killer 5 on the roses. Considering her favorite color is white, I'd say go along with using 5 red and 1 white [the single white rose to represent her]. But my personal conviction is that flowers are over-rated due to the fact they're used as a fallback tool. For instance, in an argument it's typical to see flowers used to "patch things up". What I'd like to know is where you'd like to take her for your date. It's the setting you need to know in order to decipher what you want to surprize her with in order to achieve the perfect ambiance and make your date feel that much happier.

For instance, take your talents and let me know what they are. I know already that your a poet. So write her some original poetry. If you still want to give her the roses, accompany them with your poem. Be different, be compassionate, be yourself. It's all about communication, even in the early stages of a relationship, listen to her and you'll know exactly how to make her happy. May your date go well Killer 5!

[edit on 7-6-2006 by PrimaFaciFacts]

I agree with Crakeur, at least in part. Sure you like her but you haven't even met her yet. So I would recommend that you put a hold on the roses. Yes, flowers are nice but I'd hold off on the roses just yet. Some simple early summer flowers -- daisies, for example -- would be more appropriate for an initial meeting. Of course you "know" her already but there is a big difference between "knowing" someone on-line and actually getting to "know" someone in person.

There will always be time for roses later. I'd hate to come on too strong or to taint the atmosphere with a sense of neediness. You are simply meeting someone you met on-line. That's it pure and simple. If there IS chemistry, well then you will know where to go from there.

Originally posted by benevolent tyrant
There will always be time for roses later. I'd hate to come on too strong or to taint the atmosphere with a sense of neediness. You are simply meeting someone you met on-line. That's it pure and simple. If there IS chemistry, well then you will know where to go from there.

very well said. plus, if it turns out to not be what you were expecting, you will have saved the money.


If the chemistry isn't there you can always go back to being a serial killer.

Crakeur, I MISPELLED your name, and for this I apologize.

Yes, save roses for later. All the advice like Crakeur's and BT's is good. Here's wishing you the best!
A family member traveled twice to meet someone. First time took the next plane home (not kidding) without leaving the airport. Next time went halfway around world and ended up proposing, they're a happily married family today.

Yeah, I definately agree with Crakeur. Take things slowly, and best of luck to you.

Thanks for all the suggestions everybody. I'll take your advice on the flower bits though, I'll save that for a later time, perhaps some special occasion or to make something more special, but definately at a later stage.

take your talents and let me know what they are

PrimaFaciFacts, well generally the poetry, supposedly I have a silver tounge according to most of my friends and my previous girlfriends, I can give a killer massage but that's useless this early on in a relationship, I compliment people a lot and I'm a graphic designer. Can't think of anything else...

I agree with Crakeur, at least in part. Sure you like her but you haven't even met her yet. So I would recommend that you put a hold on the roses. Yes, flowers are nice but I'd hold off on the roses just yet. Some simple early summer flowers -- daisies, for example -- would be more appropriate for an initial meeting. Of course you "know" her already but there is a big difference between "knowing" someone on-line and actually getting to "know" someone in person.

Well her other favourite flowers are yellow Tulips and I know what you mean about not really knowing people, unfortunately I am at best pretty guilible and naturally trusting, and way too honest which most of the time works against me. So I project myself for who I am online while sometimes we try to recreate who we are.



So anybody want to give more advice? Also does anybody have a good link for conversational topics? I just want to get a couple topics prepared incase we run out of topics to talk about because that will prevent that awquard silence which basically kills anything before it's started.

Once again, thanks to everyone who has replied and thanks in advance to those who will still reply.

Killer 5, think about what you've talked about online. You'll still be communicating with her, just at another level, in person. You'll still get to share all your "weird interests and strange beliefs," which sounds like you two will have a good time together. Neat!
You might not need this afterall, or it could help the conversation flow, but here's what I found for you

aac.unl.edu... looks good

www.ehow.com... maybe

www.fullhyderabad.com.../dating.htm
this could be a good read


Enjoy!

Originally posted by Killer 5
Also does anybody have a good link for conversational topics?

thanks for the new sig line. That is one of the funniest, and most frightening, things I've read here.

If she's got a brain, odds are in her favor she'll know if you have planned out what to talk about. Don't overthink the date. Be yourself, talk about whatever comes to mind (but hold off on the whole serial killer aspect for now) etc. Read a newspaper that morning (if you don't normally do so). You don't want to look like a complete fool when she says "I can't believe they did..." and you have no idea what she's talking about.

Does she live near you? Talk about places you like to go to relax or party or whatever. If she lives farther away, ask her about her home. Ask her what it's like, her friends, school, job whatever. If you have been talking to her for a while, the conversation should be pretty natural.


There's also the possibility that she won't want to talk. Jump yer bones if you're lucky.

Originally posted by Crakeur
There's also the possibility that she won't want to talk. Jump yer bones if you're lucky.

Crakeur, I was happilly reading your latest post with the best of advice, when I got to the end--nearly choked on my coffee! That surely wouldn't be in any proper advice column. Oh, I forgot, ATS is not just any proper advice column.
Don't give the poor guy any false hopes. Oh, wait--I see, haha, this is mentalk for Best of Luck. OK, now I understand.
As a woman, and a, how do I say, mature...alright grandmotherly...one, I was getting so teary eyed about this thread with talk of poetry, flowers and pleasantries, I had forgotten the other side of meeting someone. Hey, the more I think about it, alright remember it, this is exactly how this stuff could turn out. Yes, just be PREPARED, if ya know what I mean--a gentleman is always PREPARED.

Originally posted by desertHey, the more I think about it, alright remember it, this is exactly how this stuff could turn out. Yes, just be PREPARED, if ya know what I mean--a gentleman is always PREPARED.

Did all the guys see that? A self-proclaimed grandmother just told you to carry protection.

That is one hip lady.


As to my jump yer bones comment, well, to be honest, I became friendly with a woman via a website I frequented. She's married with kids (as am I) and she was coming to my town with a friend for a weekend away and wanted to get together with a few of the people she knew from the site. So we did. It was cool, fun what have you. The next day I met her on my way home from work. I was dropping off something that she had wanted (the site was a hobby site) and at the bar she came onto me. It was not expected. Anyway, that is why I added that bit of advice.

From my point of view i would say no to the flowers but get her one single white rose. that then shows you like her but not smothering her.

Also if you two get on so well over the Internet then there shouldn't be any problems. But obviously for the first hour it will be uncomfortable due to being shy and nervous, but if you get on so well then it won't be long till you two hit a conversation which then will spark all previous conversations and you won't be able to stop chin wagging.

Just be yourself don't pretend to be someone your not because then you will not be the person who she wants to meet.

Keep it real... and be relaxed because if you act all tense then she will be tense also... so get a few drinks down your neck and chill.

Hope it goes well Hun, which it will if you relax.

Oni x x

Thanks so much for the links Desert.

Originally posted by Crakeur
thanks for the new sig line. That is one of the funniest, and most frightening, things I've read here....Jump yer bones if you're lucky.

lol, sorry about that, I do tend to over think things, it's part of who I am and what I do. I plan for the worst and hope for the best and I wasn't really planning the conversation, just preparing for worst case senario if we run out of conversation topics which rarely happens since when we start talking to each other the conversation last easily for four hours or more, but I want to be prepared incase for some strange unkown reason we run out of topics. So it's not something I am too worried about but rather just a precaution.

As for your "jump your bones comment" lol, I didn't even read it on that level until I read the next two posts after that. Nah, that's not something I am after, I don't know what it's like therefore I have no clue what I'm missing and I'm not interestied to find out at this point. I'm more interested in her for the person she is. She has an amazing personality and I would really like to get to know her and hopefully, get into a real relationship with her. It's the companionship that I'm searching for, not to get into her pants. I wouldn't even consider it before dating her or any girl for at least 6 months and then it will still have to be something she brought up. (yah, I know, utterly and totally amazing that an 18 year old doesn't want sex but rather a meaningful relationship) Thanks anyway Crakeur and Desert for your concern in that area but it's something I won't allow to happen, at least not so early on in a relationship and if she isn't interested because of that, oh well, then I was going to be wasting my time anyway.

Originally posted by Oni x x
From my point of view i would say....which it will if you relax.

So one flower would be acceptable then?

I admit I am pretty nervious about it and messing up and such which is why I posted this thread but generally when I get there I become laid back and calm. I am generally very kicked back, I just like to be prepared for everything that I could possibly forsee going wrong, but thanks for the advice.

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Thanks everybody for your advice so far, I am really looking forward to the future replies. You have all been so helpful so far, thanks so much. I'm pretty much a dope when it comes to relationships which is why I post here and talk to people who actually know more about relationships than me. Anyway thanks.

Originally posted by Killer 5As for your "jump your bones comment" lol, I didn't even read it on that level until I read the next two posts after that. Nah, that's not something I am after, I don't know what it's like therefore I have no clue what I'm missing and I'm not interestied to find out at this point. .

Wow. Maturity from a kid. (you are still a kid to this old man). Very impressive and very noble (the ladies are probably swooning a bit at the comments you made after the above statement). I should point out, however, that if she wants to jump your bones, you can say no but you have no control over her desire to do so, thus my comment (which was made somewhat with tongue in cheek).


I do hope you'll give us all a report of how it went - with editing to protect the innocent, of course.

Originally posted by Crakeur


I do hope you'll give us all a report of how it went - with editing to protect the innocent, of course.

Yeah, there's a been a lot of "What should I do" threads regarding romance, and a lot of the "single but searching" members would probably do well to read this thread and see how a real man should treat a lady. Two thumbs up for you sir

I wish you luck, you deserve to be succesful in your search for "Mrs Right"

Wow. Maturity from a kid.....with editing to protect the innocent, of course.

lol, nah, I know I'm still a kid, maybe a little more mature than most of my friends but I know that I know hardly anything and have a lot to learn still and I'll give a short report of how things went, I'm still fine tuning everything for location and such and trying to balance how to show interest but not desparation.

Lol, relationships to me are quite difficult because I have to balance thigns and I can't go all out. The One thing I have learnt though, it's the small thigns that people do that matter. Like when her exams were starting I sent her a good luck present that was very much aimed at what she likes with a hand wirtten letter instead of the usual plastic message. It took me a while to do but I thought it was a nice gesture.

and thanks for the compliments, I try to live by my own code of honour which according to almost everyone I know is outdated, but it's a good way to live.

Yeah, there's a been a lot of......search for "Mrs Right"

thanks :$ on both accounts.

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Okay, here's what I've got planned so far although it is still very much open to change depending on how the day progresses and how much time we have, etc. I'll probably meet her at the one ice-cream place which is nice because while we talk it gives us the small distraction of eating something sweet or maybe even some sort of lunching resterant, probably followed by a walk through town and maybe if there is enough time a movie although, I think the movie idea is a touch cliche and doesn't really allow talking although it does offer a conversational topic for the next couple of days or even a short time afterwards, but probably not the movie. The walk through town because it is actually a very beautiful place since it's not really a city but litterally a small town with all sorts of natural scenery and over all very friendly.

Okay, that sounds very badly planned and over all pretty stupid so far but I'm still goign to try and refine it a lot, but she knows that area better than me because she goes to taht town more often. I don't really think the location and such is important because that's really just for atmosphere but to me it's rather who I'm with that makes it brilliant or horrible. So anybody got any better idea's as to somesort of plan that provides a comfortable atmosphere while still being very much public and open?

Okay, I know double posting, the bane of every forum but oh well. Anyway, I'm meeting her soon and I just wanted to know if anybody else had any other advice for me? I am just a tad nervious about this meeting.