Jeez, why are the best ones always taken? Looking for some Help.

Well, first time posting in the relationships section, but hey - I got a problem/opportunity and I'd like to figure it out.

Here's the situation. Recently I started a job - telephone tech support (if you live in Houston and will be calling Time Warner, there's a very tiny chance that'll you'll talk to me!... after two weeks of training). There's a two-week training course for this job to learn the ins and outs of what we'll be working with, and the male to female ratio in the class is something like 1 guy for every 3 and a half girls. In other words, business is good.

However, all the girls seem to already have boyfriends... or at least all the ones I've gotten into that much conversation with (which has been 5).

Anyways, one of those girls, a beautiful red-head with just a few freckles and pale skin, and two beautiful sections that I'll assume are outside forum rules due to their sexually implicit nature (and so break the "family forum" friendliness), has been just awesome. Both of us have ADD and ADHD, and so if one of us starts doing something random, the other immediately picks up on it. I was half-way across the room and started knocking my head like "Night At the Roxbury", and when she saw me she immediately joined in!

We've also worked close together on a few of the in-training projects and neither of us mind being right close together (like "you're in my personal zone" issues).

Both being ADD and such, talking with her is a breeze and a half because either I'll do something funny, or she will, and we'll just have a fun time. We also joke about sex and she's always saying "oh yeah, I can't resist you" and stuff.

Finally, she's been jokingly hitting and pushing me a little bit (and I've done that to her too) and although she's been saying stuff like "I've never done that, I don't hit people." - but we've even had a mock "I challenge you to mortal combat!" fight where she almost hit my... umm... baggage.


The problem; she has a boyfriend.

Now I know how people get when they have a boyfriend or girlfriend. They tend to be a bit more comfortable doing slightly more sexual things or saying other sexual things, and not feel uncomfortable because they have their close other and so aren't worried about where such talk and stuff will lead them.

But still, we've been connecting really well and I want to ask her out. Should I? If so, since we both have ADD and stuff, what kind of fun activity could we do together that'll give us time together to both have fun and talk (for some reason, mini/wacky-putt and pizza-hut just sprung to mind, which sounds actually pretty good because mini-putt and go-kart's are like crack coc aine to someone with ADHD).

I live by the rule, "seize every opportunity". I, personally, think you should maybe wait a week, see if any further feelings develop and then just talk to her about how you feel. You're obviously very attracted to her so don't let this opportunity slip away.

Good luck with it.

whoa. that's another man's territory, dude. even if she is down, think about it - where will that leave you? if you end up in a relationship with this girl, how can you ever be sure she won't drop you like a bad habit for the enxt guy that shows interest? sure, you don't know this guy from adam, but be fair - think about how you'd feel if someone snagged something like that up from you?

i suggest starting things off as a friendship. that way, if she leaves this guy, it's not coz you asked her out - it's coz she didn't wanna be with him, she wanted you. besides, relationships that start off as friendships always turn out better. or so i hear...i haven't been able to take my own advice insofar as that bit goes.

That's the thing... I DO know how that feels... and in a way, because it's happened to me, I don't feel half as bad doing that to someone else.

Still, I think the first suggestion is good - wait a week and see how things develop.

wow. heartless. ah well, all i know is ain't nothin' about to happen to me.

Yari, lots of women have TWO boyfriends, or even more. This isn't the 1950s; there has been a sexual revolution, even though a lot of people prefer to ignore it.

Once you become Friends with a woman; the transition or change to becoming a lover is very difficult.

Just be open; tell her how you feel and let her respond. If she decides to dump her current man in favor of you; then your decision will be "is she worth fighting for"

Sometimes like the old song says, "Love Hurts"

In my experience; these type of situations invariably turn out with hurt feelings in everybody concerned.

Good luck, you'll need it!!

Well, are you looking for a relationship or a fling?

If its a relationship you want I suggest you look elsewhere. If she is all playful and cutsie and flirty with you while she is with another man, she will do the same when she is with you. There is no reason to think her morals will solidify just because she is with you rather than some other dude. You don't need the heartbreak of a woman losing track of her integrity.

If its a fling you want...how strong are your own ethics? Will you lose sleep if you bounce another man's girl around the pillow playground? Are you worried about her man smashing your head with a brick when he finds out it was you that "brainwashed" his girl into falling for you?

IMO, this is a decision that only you can make. Only you know how much you really like this girl, and only you know what you have in mind as far as a relationship/fling.

And lastly, comming from a man who has been cheated on in a serious relationship...if you do persist with this knowing that she has a man...get into a karate class, or buy a ball bat. There are two things a man has that you CANNOT mess with...his Girl/Wife/Family and his money. Rational goes out the window when you encroach on these things. Weigh the risks my friend.

[edit on 7-6-2006 by DaFunk13]

Is this boyfriend a serious or casual thing? I always go by the rule: If they cheat with you, They'll cheat on you. If you are looking for a serious relationship, I'd go elsewhere. If you're just looking for fun, find out how serious this boyfriend thing is. Just a little advice from Granny.

Whether or not she "has a boyfriend" is irrelevant, IMO. She's not married or engaged, right?

Here's the issue: You work together. Recipe for Big Trouble every time. You will have way more baggage than you can ever see coming because of this, if it ever goes anywhere. It better reallyreally be worth it, and I see tears aplenty ahead, if you hook up.

Trust me.

No, I'm not heartless - just many times heartbroken, and so I'm starting to wonder if I just need to fit in alongside it. Work within the system instead of fighting it, if you know what I mean.

I'm not looking for a serious relationship - but not just a fling either. I'm looking for someone who I can have fun with, and just enjoy the company of. I'm not looking to form a relationship that will endure for years, but someone that I can cherish over the course of the summer.

And don't worry, I'm not worried about boyfriends in the physical sense of the term. I'd be more worried for her if she had a jealous boyfriend than worried for myself, since she might be around him longer... and yes I have my 1st dan in karate (1st degree black).

In the end, I really like xeroxed88's answer - give it time. If we continue to have fun, which we have been (she wanted me to dance the can-can today when I grabbed a stick... three times ), then perhaps in another 6 days (a week as of yesterday when I first posted this) I'll ask her out for some fun with bright lights and goofiness. If that goes well... then maybe I'll be able to work something out.

Perhaps I should be taking the advice from 40-year-old virgin "you let the seed grow into a plant, then you -explitive- the plant!"

However, all the girls seem to already have boyfriends...

Find hope in the fact that fidelity is not a tradition in the US. I hear that when universities and the like do paternity tests on local populations, it results in a lot of broken homes.

and I want to ask her out.

If she has a boyfriend, she ain't going to be looking to go out.

[edit on 7-6-2006 by Nygdan]

I think it's just wrong when someone says they have a girl/boy friend, but they still flirt. It can be hell on the emotions.

On the other hand, sometimes a girl will say she has a "boyfriend", even if it's just hanging out... they might not be intimate at all.

So Yarium, I'd suggest asking if she'd like to join you for lunch or something. If she says no, just tell her that if she changes her mind then to let you know. It doesn't hurt, and it will get the "what if" out of the way. Better to be rejected than to wonder for the rest of your life.

Balls in her court dude. Let if play out a little. If she likes you enough. She will do the right thing and break up with her current meat head and come screaming your way. But I think its wrong to encroach. Had it done to me a couple of times, good thing is my girlfriends have had good respect for me and put those guys in their place....in the pound and hanging dry. My point is dont be one of those idiots, if she REALLY likes you then she will see...otherwise...its miller time !!!!

[edit on 8-6-2006 by imbalanced]

[edit on 8-6-2006 by imbalanced]