Recently, I was granted writer status, so I thought I'd make that first great leap into the unknown and post one of my poems here. So, here it is. My poem.


A Toast

Ladies, Gentlemen, I'd like to propose a toast
To the all-time greatest TV game show host

Impeccably dressed, not a hair out of place
Bob Barker's the essence of wit, style and grace

Have you heard of him? He's on The Price is Right
And as long as I've known him, his hair has been white

Bob goes to work and gets smothered in kisses
Men cheer him on while he smooches their missus

He plays games with his guests and some win a prize
They play Showcase Showdown and say their goodbyes

Before the show ends, Bob never forgets
To remind us to spay and neuter our pets

If you think that all this sounds like a dream
Remember, it's not always peaches and cream

Bob's been sued by a few Barker's Beauties
Dian said that he gave her sexual duties

Holly claimed she was fired when she gained weight
She hired a lawyer and got a court date

Bob's never been one to submit to his woes
He digs in his heels and he takes on his foes

The perfect example, Oh! It just made me roar
Was when he got in that fight with Happy Gilmore

Now I'll ask you all to raise your cup
As I quickly try to sum this up

It's clear no words but these will do
You rock, Bob Barker, I love you

A poem to celebrate the discovery of my first wrinkle.


Every single day I age a little more
Slowly but surely, I'm losing the war

I have just spotted my very first wrinkle
Barely a crease, but a definite crinkle

In a flash, twenty years have gone by
I have two crows' feet, one for each eye

My eyelids are droopy with bags, in the end
I'm sad to say gravity was not my friend

Perhaps I should buy expensive cream in a pot
That will make my skin smooth, supple and taut

I could go to a clinic where they sandblast your skin
It's called dermabrasion, and I've heard it's quite 'in'

Perhaps I should consider a glycolic peel
They say a slight tingling is all you can feel

Then I wonder how much a facelift would cost
That's when it hits me, a line has been crossed

I return to the present, my worries are passed
I'm relieved to have come to my senses so fast

Everyone ages and I shall do so with grace
Proudly wearing the experience etched on my face

Telling myself that as old as I may be
Intrepid will always be older than me

I wrote this for my friend Nikelbee when she made her return to ATS.

Nikelbee's Poem

I awoke from my nap and much to my glee
Who had dropped by but the fair Nikelbee

Sadness that we had passed like ships in the night
Was quickly replaced by a wave of delight

I shouted Woohoo! and jumped out of my chair
I gave my cat Harriet a really good scare

I started to do my little happy dance
It's kind of a hop but more like a prance

After prancing and hopping about like a fool
I began to calm down and regained my cool

I wanted to do something for my friend Niki
But deciding just what was proving quite tricky

I thought and I thought and I wracked my brain
Flowers? Chocolates? Perhaps some champagne?

I wanted to do something she'd like
Maybe I could get her a shiny new bike?

That's when it struck me, straight out of the blue
I'll write her a poem, that's what I'll do

I grabbed my notebook and picked up my pen
I quickly entered the state of poem writing zen

To my pleasant surprise it wasn't that tough
Writing a poem for one who's such hot stuff

Words flowed out with the greatest of ease
My only wish being that my efforts would please

Some time later I placed my pen on the table
Fervently hoping my writings don't prove me unstable

When I looked back on my poem I started to fret
Was it good? Will she like it? I broke out in cold sweat

I sat back, thought it over and then grinned
My worries all floated away on the wind

It doesn't matter if it sucks just a bit
What's really important is the thought behind it

This poem might not be considered a great work of art
What's important to note is it comes from the heart

And now your poem is winding up and about the reach the end
I just wanted you to know I'm thrilled to see you, my old friend

How flattering is this? I LOVE that you wrote a poem for me Duze. I feel so triumphant - you've presented me with the literary equivalent of a banquet where fancy fowl, mead and mutton mingle with trumpeters, jugglers and swans; where dancers with red satin skirts and naughty winks flirt with handsome men with chissled chins; where girl poets take off their Choos and dance barefoot until dawn.

You rock. And I'm glad you've started your own thread. You have a flair for rhyme and meter but most importantly (and what I really dig about your writing) is that you're sharing the elation of your wordplay.

Now tell me you've read Neruda? Cause he is my favourite - simple, romantic, to the point, devastatingly wonderful.

Here's a taster from Ode to Life (random quoted bits)

Today again I am alive.
Again, life
I lift you up,
upon my shoulders.

A lingering night passes,
just one minute passes
and everything changes.
Life's cup
fills up
with transparent brilliance.
The wide quest
awaits us.
Doves are born in a solitary burst.
Light reigns again over the earth.

Life,
you are
a complete instrument,,
happiness, sounds
of storm, tenderness
of mellow oil.

- Pablo Neruda


(sigh)

Duzey, loved the poems, especially the one about Bob. Unfortunately I remember when he had brown hair, as your second poem reminded me.

May I do you an honour. Yes, the u is in there because, well, let's face it, that how we were taught.

To Duzey

A pleasure it's been to read from the Duze,
few could argue with the words of the Muse.

Those that did found their points in tatters,
the truth was told, that's all that matters.

Your thinking is fine in that logical brain,
does it have something to do with the west coat rain?

ATS is better by having you here,
let us hope it will be for many a year.

This site is about "ignorance denied",
logic is all that you have applied.

Points that are missed do not go unheard,
they are pointed out with your typed word.

Critical thought is your greatest landscape,
I shudder at an equal debate.

I have to go, my words I won't flog.
I'm going to check out your excellent blog.

That last bit sucked but I did my best.