Tom Cruise hires bodyguards to fend off evil galactic ruler

Tom Cruise hires bodyguards to fend off evil galactic ruler

Film star Tom Cruise has hired extra bodyguards to protect him from an ancient galactic tyrant, Hollywood sources revealed yesterday.

Cruise is a member of the Church of Scientology, which teaches its followers that, millions of years ago, an evil interstellar ruler called Xenu brought trillions of people to earth and blew them up in volcanoes to solve galactic overcrowding. After this incident, known to scientologists as the “Wall of Fire”, Xenu himself was captured and taken to an undisclosed planet where scientologists believe he is still imprisoned today. The souls of the people he killed linger on and infect all people living now, except scientologists like Tom Cruise who know how to expel them, thus thwarting Xenu’s evil plans.

Tom’s fear of a Xenu attack is said to have arisen after hearing the song, ‘Message from Xenu’, by UK band, The Truth Rockets, which describes how Xenu has escaped from his prison and is on his way to Hollywood in a DC8 to get Tom and his wife, who is also a scientologist. As the most prominent proponent of Scientology, Tom believes that an escaped Xenu would likely come after him personally, possibly using psychiatrists to drug and capture him.

“Ok, maybe it's just a song ... ” Tom is reported to have said, “... but you don't know what I do about psychiatry! If you did you'd know everything's possible. I can't afford to take chances."

The Truth Rockets' song, 'Message from Xenu' can be heard at:
www.thetruthrockets.net...

[Mod Edit: External quote tag.

Please review these posts: Posting work written by others. and New Site Tag For Quoting External Sources - Jak]

[edit on 27/3/06 by JAK]

I can't fins anything substanciating this. I hope it's true because it would be a good laugh, but the sources provided are shady to say the least.

The more I hear about Tom Cruise the less respect I have for him...
....his kharma is closing in on him.

I think that all of Tom's posturing against psychiatrists and the drugs they use is rather ironic since it is increasingly clear that if anyone needs to spend some time on a couch under the influence of some psychosis controlling meds, it is Tom Cruise

Originally posted by Rasobasi420
the sources provided are shady to say the least.

I agree, but even if it's not true, it's still hilarious!

Any better links, Azimov? I would expect at least the Enquirer to carry this story

Whether anybody likes cruise or not, psychiatry pumps people with drugs and it causes harm to people. They have done this to people I know. I applaud him for attacking the profession and always will, sadly more should do it.

In regards Xenu all I can say is that is annother story to be proved or disproved. Can't say I heard about it outside of Scientology though so it is questionable in my mind.

Actually, Xenu will be reborn as his and Katie's love child.



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Sounds like good publicity to me. Still a funny story though..........

Why are you making fun of this? I am aware what scientology realy is but read some stuff about the antichrist here at ATS. People are going nuts about the so called all evil Anitchrist like tom about Lord Xenu.

Xenu/Antichrist= crap IMO

Great track, that would make a top soundtrack for a movie. has a hint of Tarantino about it.

Hard to say what TC's up to but the song is hilarious. "They're playing Top Gun for the next 200 million years". The lyrics remind me a little of one of my all time favorites -Mr.Frank Zappa. Ok, I don't want to turn it into a music thread, thanks for the laugh.

Here is a funny TomisNuts Link



www.tomcruiseisnuts.com...

I never did care much for him, but now I cannot STAND him or Katie for that matter. Ugh, I feel sorry for the demon spawn they are about to pop out.







[edit on 28-3-2006 by MauiStacey]