Let us all remember the General...

*20,20*
That's right kiddies you heard the alien man right, remember GeneralDilemma...

I personally have made a pledge to do thirty push-ups (fifteen per hand) before replying to a thread.
Forty push-ups before creating a thread.
Forty sit-ups right before hitting the post button.
While many members looked down upon the general, I questioned many of my senior comrades for listening to him.
Now I believe I understand his teachings.
Being on ATS is not a responsibility, it is a right and privelage, and we must undergoe rigorous physical, mental and emotional training...

Therefore my fellow brethren,
I charge you, to set similar standard for yourself as I have done, so you truly may understand the power of ATS...
Whenever you discover a "newer user" who has potential here on ATS, respect them, and helpt them along, counsel them.
Valhall took me under her wing when I first joined and I thank her for it. *salutes*
Who knows maybe our hero shall return to guide us along the right path...

Remember the General.
Remember the Truth.
Remember....

I swear, do you?
- Tass *40*

[Edited on 2-10-2003 by Tassadar]

The left are not hero's to me.

The truth is the hero.

But we could all use a little more exercise.

I was hoping this was about Colonel's long-lost cousin or something.

also, if you're new and want a forum parent to show you the ways of ATS, go here. somehow we've got lots of regulars waiting around to adopt, but no new members. I don't get it.

I have a sacro-iliac problem that prevents me doing situps, General Sir, so with your permission I will just pump 200kg 40 times before each post, Sir.

GeneralDilemma was last seen imparting knowledge to Mala the Zimbabwean witch doctor.

net-chicken, could you bring the general back?

[Edited on 10-2-2003 by theshadowknows]

I agree the place hasnt been the same since his departure. I hope he one day comes back not as a
chicken murdering witch doctor but the good ol General himself.
I hate it when chickens die. but they do taste good with mayo and some lettuce and cheese.



Mark

I would love to give the general a 30-06 caliber third eye socket.

I'd rather remember the general's wife. She was funnier.

Here are some posts from the Generals first thread, - rescued from the trash ... Gee the trash is interesting about 18 pages of it!

I have arrived.

I am disgusted, shocked and somewhat stunned.

For a week I have been reading your website and what I have found has turned my stomach. You people need help, and quickly, you are in the terminal stages of gullability and delusion with a reality shaped by TV and a fantasy culture. Do you even have a conception of reality any more?

I am left with 2 choices, one to leave and the other is to clean this place up. I have decided to do the latter.

I know this post will get lots of abuse especially from the mentally impared members on this board, however I am prepared for it as I have a higher purpose here.

A purpose that will overcome any half witted abuse, flacky comment, semi cognicient utteranace, or prehuman grunting that you throw at me.

I have come to clean this board up. You people are soft, indolent and from what I have read mostly drug crazed ex hippies or rejected spawn from the hippie movement.

Those who do have a vague understanding of the depravity our society has fallen to, are mostly silent, hunted and haunted by the lesser beings who shout their vile utterings and oppress the right minded people. Those who try and speak up are silenced under the abuse of the vocal minority.

I am here to set free the right minded people and allow them to speak up for what is true. Already I have engaged in debate in another thread about smoking and revealed the unhealthy drug abusers for what they are, a weak pack of hyenas cowering behind Thomas Crowne.

I will stay until I overcome and remodel this website in more sane terms.

My plans for the future of the board will be revealed soon.

-----------------------


When entering enemy territory first flush out their bases of power and find out who are the dominant alpha males.

As we see from this first incoherent series of posters, the majority of inebriated posters in this thread grunted semi abusive replies. I was expecting it. It can easily pass me by. Their cut and paste posts speak of a child level of posting at the level of primary school abuse. Children in the greatest sence of the word.

I am impressed with Masked Avatar a poster of fine sarcasm, so fine that the semi huminoids who also posted failed to pick up on his subtle humor. So far I have encountered only one individual worthy of taking notice of.

One of the first things I intend to do now that I am here is to tidy up the deluded fools in the paranormal section.

AS well I want to have the robot that changes the word sh1t to shoe destroyed. This is turning the board into a woman's retreat.

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Never go to battle without a plan.
Never face your enemy without knowing him first.
When you meet a new group first find those who are for you and those who are against you, once that separation has been made then the rest is easy, divide and conqour has been the rule since Lao Tzu.

You may think that I have come here as a stupid old man, but even though this medium is foreign to me, you are not foreign, have worked with people all my life, so you are just the same as any other group I have taken control of in the service of my country.

See the interesting reactions of the posters to my presence, some huddle and wait, watching and wary of the new alpha male in their midst.

Others instinctivly attack, but that is a sign of their immaturity, mature individuals size up their opposition first, learn his weakenss before they move in. These ones are easily put in their place. Whippersnappers and dreamers beyond their cognitive ability.

Still others study, assess, and see the inherent rightness about the new interloper. These are the truely mature individuals here. These are the ones who will develop on to be leaders here and in the real world.

These are the ones on whom the future of the world will reside.

The time has come for a new wind to blow, a wind that will take away the falsehoods and fears of a generation lost in the filth of its own making. The time has come for people to shrug off the fears imposed by society, imposed by the immoral forces at work in this country. A time has come when we need to release into the world men and women, awake, aware and alert, to the task of rebuilding the shattered morality and society in which we dwell and suffer.

That time has come now to this site, and when I am moderator I intend to open the eyes of the people who post here, to have a place where truth is spoken without fear, and integrity is a mans cloak.
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Although I am only an infrequent poster, and words do not come easy to me, as I am a practical man by heart, I have been busy here on the site laying the groundwork for change. Please note that I have heard every one of your questions and have starte to formulate our stratagy here.

Notice that we have moved on from the young abusers, they have been nicely silenced and instead the average poster is feeling free to ask their questons.

Yes Fungirl, I have not forgotten the women and girls of this board. Women are like flowers in the field among the rough and tumble of the board their delecate posts bloom with the feminine fragrance, and we must encourage that.

In another thread I talked about the new forum we are developing for women to commmunicate and talk with each other (for they all love to engage in silly talk, much like canaries love to sing, and often with just as much meaning as birdsong as well).

As well as support their menfolk by exchanging recipies and household hints. It will be a domestic forum and at this stage moderated by Mrs Vallhall, a robust and rotund lady of strong temperment.

I am focusing on working with the other moderators and staff at present in order to present suitable rolemodels for our members. I know that we all look up to our leaders with respect, and they should show a model side for the members to emulate.

Already Mr One Sac has been given some adive on his exercise and dress sence and now I have noticed another issue that will be resolved.

Mr William, had on his avatar a bottle of alcohol. Sir you must remove this immediatly. It is not a good sign for our more impressionable members and the ladies, also it is not a quality spirit, please pour the contents down the sink.

Also from your post I notice that you were still half asleep, obviously you are neglecting your morning exercises. You need to arise at 5:30am in order to prepare for the day, not crawl out of the bed at 10:15 as per usual.

I expect your standard to improve immediatly, your presence is that of the highest order, as you are the supreme model on the board and we look to you for our own inspiration.

------------------------------------------------------


I must say I am disapointed in this interweb thing. I uploaded the picture to the right place but it just won't show.

Here is the original post..

This is a place where women can chatter happily to each other, swap recipies, discuss how to clean the curtains and the exchange the latest cleaning hints.

The need for this forum is obvous, and many members will be invited to attend. Dragonrider's wife will also be encouraged to join to be closer to her husband in the evenings. The forum will be moderated by the capable and rotund Valhall. We hope to have it made public within a couple of weeks.

Please do not think that just because I havn't posted on this tread that I am not aware of it. People need a place to vent and express their repressed emotions, and be allowed to group themselves into those who are for me and those who are against.

This happens in all communities and is natural. I have just given you the space till now to follow these expected patterns. You people are no different to the ops I ran in countires during the cold war.

As my mod status is now only a matter of time, I see that I gathered a majority of the votes I shall start to reveal some of my plans for this site.

1. Physical fitness leads to mental clarity. before each reply I insist that you do at least 5 full pushups, (ladies can do it from the knees). Before each thread you must do 10.

2 We are going to show some respect for each other as men, and definite respect for our weaker partners. Men relate to each other best in an environment of mutual respect. There will be no more rude comments, no more sarcastic asides.

We are more than priviliged to have a few women on this site and we need to enourage them to break out of their demure shells. We will create a new forum where they can discuss domestic skills, household hints and cooking. Any man who dares to post in there will have their masculinity questions, is that clear?


I expect full complience with these requests from now on. I am in discussion at present with your admins as to a formal recognition of my role here, and some more extensive changes that I wish to implement.

These changes will take this fine forum to a new plane of posting wher we can reach out to the lost people in our society and open their eyes to the truth beyond their slothful indulgence in drugs and excapism. It will be a hard road for some of us and some of the weaker ones may not make it, but we have a strong core and as a board will survive and flourish.
---------------------------------------------------

Gentlemen I am glad that you have realised the true import of my words and the sincerity of my motives. With such fine men as yourselves at my back we could clean up the world let alone the board.

These are the times that try men, and we must not be intimidated at the attacks and slander of lesser mortals. Remember: Our task is not only to win the battle - but to win the war. Already the caracases of yapping posters have been left behind so we can grasp victory and forge ahead to wage war until victory is won, and never to surrender ourselves to servitude and shame.

Centuries ago words were written to be a call and a spur to the faithful servants of Truth and Justice:

"Arm yourselves, and be ye men of valour, and be in readiness for the conflict; for it is better for us to perish in battle than to look upon the outrage of our nation and our messgeboard." As the Will of God is in Heaven, even so let it be."

---------------------------------------
I do not need to defend myself from baseless accusations. My actions alone are my defence.

Admiral Halsey was a great man and a great leader, the beaches of Normandy were a time of true heroism and sacrifice, to mock these two is to mock our victories and to mock all that is great in humanity. In using them I give them honor and respect, more people should do that to these icons of out time.

Although this thread has turned into the baying of dogs and the laughing of hyenas, the breach has been made and change is coming to the board.

I look forward to working with the upright members of integrity here and bringing forth a new generation of wisdom to our deprived and degraded society. The howls we hear now are just the howls of defeat and the last gasps of the mockers, fear not we will overcome. Either you are a change agent with us, or you are the scum to be removed, make your choice there is not much time left.



The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again;
who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly;
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.

The General on Smoking...

You people have all gone soft, SOFT I tell you.

Back when I was young we used to go for 5 mile runs before breakfast and have a cold shower every night.

Now you lazy overweight chain smoking pot heads lie around the house all day playing your x-stations and jerking off to interweb porno.

Time we bought in conscription, get you sloths out of the house and back on the parade ground.

We could start with the people here, before you make your next post do 5 pushups, thats with your knees of the ground nancy boys.

Lay of the cigs, the beer and the right arm exercise and get some moral fibre.

I am gong to check up on you and particularly on the mods. Some of those new ones are a DISGRACE to humanity.

Take that Quicksilver person he is short overweight, bald and bandy legged, he looks like a barrel with coyboys legs. I am going to get him off the couch and back on the road running 5 mile sprints, with a full pack on.

Quicksilver, get your butt off that chair and get some exercise NOW!

Watch out the General is back.

--------------------------------------------------------

The trouble with people today is that they are soft. There is only 3 generations between the good people and the lazy. The Grandfathers do the work, the fathers see how the work was done, but the sons know nothing of true work.

Conscription is the answer to our country's problems, you lazy drug heads are the thrid generation, you know nothing of real work, real suffering and real committment. You live in a fantasy land surounded by computer and TV, where your reality is dictated to by your passions. You believe in aliens more than you belive in God. You believe in rights more than you believe in duty.

You have lost touch with reality.

I have come so that you may find that reality again, a relity that we had to fight for and protect, a reality that in your slothful indolence you are losing, your freedom is disolving like water turns to steam, but still you look at your computers and not see the truth.

I have come that you may see that truth again.

Get ready, the General is here and he takes no sh1t. (what half as$ed goober changes sh1t to shoe???) Never mind that I will repair as well.
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Hillbilly you have done that then I congratulate you, you are indeed one of the protectors of our society. But then you too must have seen the decay and decline of our nation and surely you too have realised that the life of our youth is a life of sub-normality.

They are unaware of the existance of the real world outside of the their artificial realities, they look on our fine men at war as they would watch a movie, not realising the sacrifice they and their families make.

They see guns and they see posessions and baubles to own, and do not know the damage a bullet makes as it rips through the chest, or the sight and smell of a fatal head shot.

They think death is funny, that it does not involve them, yet they walk the road of a kind of death every day. Not death as our fine men in the military face, but death of theirselves immersed in their fake lives and futile strivings for posessions.

But what is just is bad is that they kill their own bodies with their drugs, with their cannibis and their ciggarettes, and alcohol, that breaks down the will and weakens the spirit. Such is the death that the youth of today face, a death in WEAKENSS, a death in SURRENDER a death in SELF ABUSE.

Smokers are self abusers, just as people who mutilate themselves are and drug adicts.

Get a will, get a backbone, get out of self abuse NOW!

And Markus, you are like that chicken doing the dance of death, you too will be whipped into shape, I insist that upon reading this that you drop to your knees and give me 5 full pushups I don't care that you have a beer gut. Five, you hear that? NOW

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Get off your knees 'gentlemen' and boys. start to live your life as if you really had a life to live, instead of waiting for your death through your drugs or your meaningless violence.

The only people who thank you for your support of smoking are the tobacco companies who make the billions of dollars from your addiction, they are no more than legalized drug pushers and you are nothing more than the saps who are addicts.

The tobacco industry takes your praise all the way to the bank, you take your praise all the way to the morgue.

---------------------------------------------------------

What the heck are you people doing??

I came here to whip you into shape, not to engage in some touchy feely psycho babble. Don't tell me that you agree with me you young nancies, get out there and do something.

You are all going to seed, nearly 50% of people in this country are overweight. Do you know what that means?

50% of people are lazy fat sloths. I see them all the time trying to buy XXX sized shirts to cover their bellies with one arm holding a shake or iceceam and the other with a novelty bar.

That means that 50% of people are sad lost wretches, without meaning . Do you know whats worse, some of those 50% are YOU. Sitting reading this on your interweb computers with one finger up your nose, while outside the real world is flowing along and you are not in it.

While you are here why not just light up another smoke, or down some more liquor just so you don't have to face your own mortality.

I want the next person who posts here to have done at least 10 pushups and walked around your block looking to do a good deed before posting.

This is not reality here, if I hadn't broken both legs you wouldn't see me, I would be out experiencing life. I expect you to be doing the same.

You only have one life, smoke it, drink it, sleep it, away if you want, or you can live it, attack it, experience it, you are all gonna die anyway its just how you want to be remembered that counts.

Laziness is a marketing tool as well you are all victims of the consumer culture. You spend money to buy modern TV's with remote contol things, so you don't even have to get up to change the channel. You eat processed food filled with chemicals so you don't have to even chew, you drive in expensive polluting cars so you hardly have to move.

Welcome to the land of the slugs, .... don't be one, Gazrok, I know that you are unfit, get off your a$s and go for a run.

Who fixed this machine to turn butt into bottom? This is part of what is wrong in this land, a$s is a great american word, USE IT and be proud, not some effeminate pro homo word like bottom.

Admin I demand that you stop changing my words from strong words with meaning to weak words immediatly.

I am proud enough to stand up and say a$s without having to resort to fakery.

---------------------------------------------------------------

You go ahead pot head. Smoke your lungs out, but make sure they kill you good and dead and you don't end up filling a hospital bed and taking resources from people who really need care.

If you wish to commit self assisted suicide then go for it, I would suggest that you blow your brains out as a faster route to oblivion but I don't think you could be that accurate a shot.

I notice that your post below gave some of the other spineless addicts the courage to post their support of the exploitive tobacco industry which has them trapped, so at least you have the guts that the rest of them lack, I give you that. But I have had 3 little email thingiees from somone who applauds my stand, (he doesn't give a name) so there is a vast silent majority behind my viewpoint.

Just stay away from me in public I don't want to smell your drug laden clothing, or breathe in your drug contaminated air. Life is to short to destroy your lungs to satisfy your cravings. One day you might actually need your lungs, your fitness, and your stamina, then where would you be? Coughing like an old man while everyone passes you by.

While you are smoking up try injecting some crack, I am sure that is the next step in your ladder to self annialation. Nice try homeboy, but I eat people like you for breakfast.

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I don't want to get into cussing with you Thorfinn, I have respect for cripples and the insane, and you are not going to drag me into the sewer with you.

You be more polite to the women, they bore you fed you and whiped your a$s as a baby, which I suspect was not long ago. Mrs Valhall, (I assume) does not deserve your contempt, it is the mark of immaturity and mental inferiority.

You are the prime example of what I have been talking about, a pothead, drugged out freak, and probably a longhair as well. I have your number sir, and I will be keeping tabs on you in the future.

[Edited on 3-10-2003 by Netchicken]

*15,15*
Thank you for recovering some information on the General NC.
We will cherish these lost archives.
I pray this information is not purged and stolen from us again...
Cheers,
- Tass *40*

What an amazing bwana. Surely he was suitable for running this board!
I would sacrifice my best goat to meat such a fine speciman of a person.

Where is he now is he a Mod as he wanted?

I could make a hex that may return him to the board and bestow on him moderator status as befitting his person.

*15,15*
Alas the great General has fallen in battle with the one they call "William"...
His current whereabouts are unknown, but we hope he returns to ATS, we all need a good awakening...

- Tass*40*

[Edited on 4-10-2003 by Tassadar]