This is long, but worth it. may take awhile, but could use your thoughts.

well, i guess i will try this again. Maybe I am not supposed to pour

this out on this site. I've learned not to fight what goes against me,

for in the end, it is really in favor of me. So here it goes for

anyone that is interested in lending a helping hand. i have tried with

so many people, but they just don't get it. I actually am exhausted

already, just thinking about all of this again. but, every day, I am

reminded....

It all started in 2001. I was the international honors society

president of my college, which i returned to after a divorce in 1999.

i had three children, 4, 6 and 13, all boys. I remember I wanted a

girl so bad, i used to say "I wish I just had 1 girl!" Be careful what

you wish for! I had moved back home with my mom so i could work and go

to school full time. things seemed great. i was going to go to

medical school, my mother's dream. but something happened. i fell in

love with anthropology, native american culture in fact. i put all of

my time into an upcoming archaeology dig that i was going to help lead

in southern california with my professor and put medical school aside.

that didn't thrill my mother. i got to go on two outings to be exact.

i wasn't to return to these mountains for a couple of years to come. i

somehow believe that my future from then on started on top of that

mountain on one hot day in june. i've always believed very much in

humanity and practicing what you preach, and always abhorred hipocracy.

i have never really done anything bad to anyone, and was always kind

of a goody goody, but a social butterfly (the two don't match

sometimes). i was voted most likely to succeed and most likely to drop

out. funny, they both happened. i'm a mensa member, but you would

never know it after seeing how emotionally retarded i am! ha ha.

So, i'll speed this up, got to leave room for the book, right. My mom

ended up throwing me out of her house with nowhere to go and i was

devastated. that was an impossible thought, i still am in awe over the

whole thing. but, i do believe things have to happen for us to be able

to see what we are meant to see. Sometimes those things are completely

unexplainable so that we do actually see them and can't make excuses

for them.

I told my mom that i would leave the kids with her since that's where

they were used to being, until i could find somewhere to go. she

agreed. my mom was the one person that i always knew would be there.

that would change. after finding a place after two weeks, i went to

pick up the kids. she had called social services and filed

abandonment. i was floored. social services said to come in for a

meeting. when i showed up there was my mom, my stepdad, the kids and my

two wife-beating ex-husbands. i went into an emotional rollercoaster

that to this day, i still feel at times. it fogged my mind from

anything i could normally "figure out". I took the two little ones

with me but my older son wanted to stay with his dad since he had never

known him. that would be easy, he and my other ex husband both now

lived with my mom. how could she let men that beat her daughter wake

up in her house. i couldn't get over it. then on July 27 my car was

set on fire behind a bar. it war pretty melted by the time we got the

fire out, but drivable. one thing after another, my life became

someone else's right in front of me, and i couldn't stop it, no matter

how i tried. i went to stay with my boyfriend that i was pregnant with

on 9/9, his birthday with the kids. two days later was 9/11, we all

know what happened that day. my mom was making up all of these lies

and i just wanted to get away from her, but i couldn't. disaster

happened everywhere. i finally had to file for welfare (i was

devastated). the put me up in my "1st" motel. don't let anyone fool

you, they are no vacation spot. if you want to find out all about the

reality of life, live in a motel for awhile. i was to later find out

how totally naive i was. i finally believed that ignorance is bliss.

That was something that i never believed would be possible. i was the

"why" girl. had to know the answer to everything. i too, like some of

the other people posting on this forum, thought i related to people,

and had hundreds of friends. the next day, none. i didn't really

relate to any except on a superficial level. i have come to the

conclusion that i am judgemental and feel totally guilty for having a

"i'm better than thou" attitude. I always try to help people grow and

can't understand when they don't want to. how can people be happy in

such a small knowledge based world. i always got straight a's but i

wasn't very smart. i guess you don't get smart until it's time. then,

you don't have to try very hard. i am still confused on a lot of it.

so this is where I first get to visit "The House" which is the torment

of my soul. It was also the first time i would be introduced to 111.

Please remember, i have a lot more knowledge as i tell the story now,

but at the time, it was just one event after another. a lot of it

didn't start to blend until much later.

My mom and ex husbands managed to get temporary custody of the children

(completely unbelievable), but that had to happen, or else i wouldn't

be telling you this story.

I met a girl and her daughter, Danny, (also the name of the person that

had my car set on fire, and Dana is my brother's name that committed

suicide when i was 19). we decided to look for a place together. we

got the sunday paper and i saw the ad of a lifetime. too good to be

true. 6 bedroom house on 10,000 square foot lot for only 1100 per

month. in southern california, that is unheard of. i am going to leave

locality out of the picture for reasons that you will see later.

Needless to say, everybody was really stressing out because of 9/11. i

was all alone, all of a sudden had no friends and thrown into a world i

didn't know. i grew up in a wealthy neighborhood and i guess was very

ignorant to any inhumanity in the world. i've always laughed over

pretty much anything. i can find a funny even in the worse situations.

During this time, before calling the number, the girl (teresa) told me

to talk to her friend, tommy, because he worked on cars. he took me to

his work and said maybe his boss would help me out after hearing my

story. he did offer to help and said he would fix my car. he even got

me a rental car. he would do much more for me later. this was early

october. He was from Jordan.

So, there we sat, and i called the number. When the guy answered, he

gave me the address to "the house" (but spelled the name wrong, even

though i would find it anyway.) i said thanks and what was his name.

He said it was Mo.

I'll be back for the next part.

I read it from start to finish like you wanted. Just so you know.

And yet I don't see the paranormal link. But if this story is going into something about the house being haunted or possessed or something, I would say that it is likely due to the excessive and prolonged stress that you have been through lately.

[edit on 4-12-2005 by Yarcofin]

tink, I too read the entire story.
I understand you're wanting to give background and all.
But, it would probably be good to give us the Paranormal connection, soon.

I don't see a paranormal link... But I do feel very very bad for you, I can understand how that must feel. I hope the second part of the story is perhaps a little bit happier

[edit on 5-12-2005 by trocious1]

Did your ex's start beating you before or after you had 3 children with them? Terrible and not very smart. Poor kids.

[edit on 6-12-2005 by librasleep]

ople have no clue to what you are speaking off yet ... but if you tell this story and then leave it like you did ... The rather Rhetorical part about this .... people are going to apply what has happend to thier lifes to the rest of your story ... At least that will be the first thing that goes through thier mind ... Willing to bet money the people that have posted ... Before me telling to finish your story ... are really truly wanting to help but ... the others that try and guess what is going to happen next ... that is probably what has or is going on in thier lifes ...

I don't knwo what I am more intrigued with the people reading this post and replying or the persono writing this post ... anyhow either way ... Where is this going ?