A while ago, i met a girl on the internet. We got along really well, and decided to meet up. We did this, and it went fantastically. Very soon after, we met up again, and started dating. After a few more visits, and the odd arguement which ended in her blaming herself for everything, no matter what i said, we started seeing each other regulary. Then she starts telling me that i dont show my emotions to her, that i dont show her i love her, but from what i can tell, i do show it, and i show it as much as i can. Im sure this girl is perfect for me, i love her with all my heart and more...

Today, she tells me that she thinks she is pregnant....

I cant believe it, we did everything 'safely' and i dont know how it happened, but she has her suspicions. We decide to get a test done on the weekend, just to be sure. (hasn't happened yet)
And then, she starts to get angry with me again because im not showing my emotions and i 'act like i dont care' etc etc.
I do care, i want her to be the happiest person alive, but she is saying she wants to break up because she is pregnant, even though she doesnt know that she is, she assumes that thats the case. She doesnt want a baby (we arent exactly ready for kids), but she hates the idea of abortion, and now she wants me to forget about her and move on. She wants to deal with it all on her own, and no matter how many times i try to let her know i will always be there, she blocks it and brings up things from the past. she just wont let me 'in'.

And now, i dont know what to do. I dont know how to let her know that i love her, or whether or not she doesnt want to know.. i just dont know.

I dont like the idea of telling everyone my personal things, but i just have to get it out. Can anyone offer any advice? I have tryed everything... and i dont want to loose her...

Thanks.

Gosh all sounds very heavy for you,

But my thoughts on this... shes crying out for help,

shes confused, upset, scared, her way of dealing with it is to push you away,

If you love her... then you are really going to have to just stand there and give her as much love as you can, make sure you communicate loads,

She may just want to see how you react to what she says, she may be so insecure of love that she fears it,

Find some time to sit down alone with her and talk talk talk, make sure that when you do that you make contact with her, touch her hand ect as this will make her know that you mean what you say,

If she is pregnant then both of you will have to sit down and talk about what to do,

And im not sure how old you both are.. but you can get advice on options of just someone to help you both through all this,

I really wish you luck and stay strong,

1 more important thing, make sure you tell her how you feel about it, she may also need to feel that you need her,

Yes shes crying out but you have to sit back and examine things.

How were her parents relationship, how is her life with her family, how was her childhood. These questions are important bcause she is extremely insecure.

The pregnancy could be a ruse don't count the chickens before they hatch there. Honestly it sounds like she needs counselling in order to be able to be in a normal healthy relationship. This is too one sided and abusive too because you are being made to jump through hoops and you are not allowed to be yourself. Every relationship needs give and take but they go together, both have to give in order for both to take.

not to be mean but she sounds like shes hiding something....if you did "it" with her and broke nothing.....uh....i'd be suspicious.....

Originally posted by namehere
not to be mean but she sounds like shes hiding something....if you did "it" with her and broke nothing.....uh....i'd be suspicious.....

Yeah uh, you might want to listen to this person. Maybe she got knocked up by someone else and she's manipulating you because she knows how to push your buttons. By telling you to forget about her she really knows that will make you want to stay even more. You end up taking care of her and someone else's kid. Females can be some crafty devils sometimes. My advice would be to check in to that first or you could find yourself on The Maury Povich Show. Good luck.

Peace

It could be possible i suppose... but i wont be mentioning it until i know more, like if there is even a baby, we do not know yet. Not knowing if she is pregnant must be bad enough for her already. I dont want to dump more problems onto her head right now. And if it isnt true, it will make things alot worse, so... i will look for 'evidence' first.

Thanks for all your advice. Much appreciated!