Do we need specially trained "survivor monkeys"?

The Swiss are fabled for utilizing St. Bernards for rescuing lost skiers and mountaineers. Specially trained, these massive canines would trudge through deep alpine snows to locate the poor souls who would have otherwise died without a last gulp of Brandy.

The rescue teams throughout the world use german shepherds to locate people -- living and deceased -- in earthquakes and mudslides.

The US navy experimented with dolphins for military purposes as well as for rescue of navy deep sea diving teams.

In the aftermath of several major catastrophes, isn't it time that we developed huge "armies" of specially trained "survival monkeys". Wearing orange jumpsuits, which the US has plenty of, it seems, Survivor monkeys could be dropped en mass by parachute into disaster zones. Trained in swimming and live saving skills, the monkeys could even administer mouth to "eeewwww" mouth resessitation if needed.

The survivor monkey, being many times stronger than mere humans, could pack in all sorts of survival equipment and could be trained to even sacrifice themselves for the cause of human survival.....one survival monkey could feed dozens of hungry human disaster survivals.

Just think, if Bush could have suddenly pulled an "army" of orange coverall wearing survival monkeys out of his hat when Katrina hit, he'd be a hero -- admired for his foresight.


And just think, when the survival monkeys aren't being utilized in their role of speciall trained survival primates, they could be engaged to do a myriad of menial tasks in private industry.....thus freeing up massive resources and freeing up millions of human manhours so that even more research can be done towards getting humanity off of this god forsaken planet and into a safer section of the universe.



[edit on 9/26/2005 by benevolent tyrant]