posted on Aug, 29 2003 @ 09:04 PM
If I have bills to pay, projects to complete and clothes to wash, how much time during the day should I, as a privileged American, be expected to
spend pondering the solutions to meaty international issues, such as global warming, that surely weigh heavily on the minds of even the most
uneducated denizens of Pakistan? Because only Americans can lead the world toward universal peace and prosperity, and without the assistance of
America, of which I am a citizen, the planet will continue to sink deeper into an abyss of war and hatred.
Without a doubt, Muslim terrorists will attack only American infidels who gleefully refuse to prostrate before them. Since no one else in the Western
World will be targeted, what can I, as a culturally ignorant American, do to make the life of an overeducated, underemployed Saudi Arabian male who
has long suckled oil from the teat of his homeland easier and more comfortable?
I want to do all I can because I'd hate for, say, French engineers or German tourists to get caught in attacks strictly aimed at evil Americans, and
I'd feel so guilty if, say, hundreds of Milanese were killed by nerve gas in their subway system because terrorists -- I mean, freedom fighters --
were trying to take out the American swine they followed from the airport.
So, if there's anything I can tell Condoleeza Rice or Donald Rumsfeld to get them to stop all of the war, poverty, racism, tribalism, etc. that
started only after the formation of the United States of America, let me know. After I finish my 8-5 shift, cook dinner, eat, pay my bills, and wash
the imperialistic filth from my body, I'll get right on it.
It's a lot easier to be critical and angry when you've got time to sit around and stew, which is why one sees riots and demonstrations in poor
communities, on college campuses, and in segregated European neighborhoods where immigrants from North African and Middle Eastern countries grow fat
and revolutionary on the dole, while in middle-class enclaves where the citizens work 50-hour weeks -- not so much.
It's why those spewing outrageously anti-American vitriol don't see how bizarre it is to condemn the collateral damage inflicted on Afghans in
response to the actions of their leaders but rejoice in the collateral damage inflicted on Americans in response to the actions of their leaders. We
get it: you don't like America.
I know, it sucks to live in a country where you can't get a Slurpee and a bag of Hot Fries at 2 a.m. or publically proclaim racial prejudices without
fear of being charged with a crime against humanity, but don't take it out on us. We're happy little proles, and so are you. Citizens of every
nation are uninformed about the inner machinations of their own governments. Americans aren't special in that regard.
We're not privy to the closed door sessions that lead to secret operations to topple foreign governments. No one sticks leaflets under our windshield
wipers announcing the Coup in Venezuela luau. The president doesn't invite us over for sticky buns and strategic missile planning. Colin Powell
doesn't drop off surveys asking for our opinions on the government's Israeli policy. I hear from the government only once a year, and that's to let
me know that they need more money to fund programs with which I likely don't agree.
It's common knowledge that the American government does a lot of shady # -- in this world of everyone looking out for their own, who doesn't? -- but
good luck trying to uncover and stop it if you're a mid-level stockbrocker who has a mortgage to pay and three brats to support or a dishwasher at a
touristy restaurant sending your paltry wages back to your family in the Dominican Republic.
So, if you hate what the American government does, take it up with the American government. I'm too busy polishing my gun, eating at McDonald's and
watching "Friends" to solve the ills of the world
Ain't it the truth brothers?
[Edited on 30-8-2003 by GeorgeWBush]