I wanted to know if it's really better to have sex or not to in a relationship. For this thread I don't want to consider consequences such as pregnancy or STDs, I just want to know about psychological and emotional problems it brings into the relationship. I don't want to hear stories about how a girl got pregnant and that ruined the relationship, or how a couple got an STD and it ruined things, but stories of problems that arose because of a couples fear of those things are fine.

Some Examples:

Perhaps the girl becomes very attached to her boyfriend, but fears that he will leave her. She decides there is only one way to stop him from leaving her, and that is to get pregnant. So she gets pregnant and it ruins everything.

Perhaps one person is in the mood but the other isn't and refuses to have sex. This could start many arguments easily.

Perhaps the guy gets spoiled when he realizes he could have sex with women so easily, and he starts being a total jerk to the girl.

Perhaps one of them becomes too clingy and obsessed with the other and starts making too many sacrifices for them, or gets angry when their partner does something independently (in other words they become possessive).

I tend to think that sex in a relationship blinds the couple from other problems they have. Like for example maybe the girl hates how forgetful or inconsiderate her man is, but she would be less likely to deal with this problem if the sex is good. In a relationship without sex people are more honest about the problems they have with each other and trying to work them out.

Please post on this thread any problems that you've had with your partner that happened because you're having sex, and wouldn't have happened if you weren't having sex, excluding pregnancy and STDs. And be sure to tell me if you think the problems outweigh the benefits of having sex.

Personally, more problems arise from not having sex for me. Now take into consideration that I am talking about long term relationships of a year+ where the individuals are already having sex.

I think that I heard somewhere that during sex some sort of chemical is released in the brain that causes deep feelings of connection. Since I often experience a type of all-encompasing indifference from time to time, I simply don't feel very connected to the other person if sex is not shared often and the longer that his period goes the more difficult it is to feel close enough to be intimate with said person. It's a catch22 I suppose. It (sex) is not so much about the act itself, but rather more about connecting.

This, of course, is just the way that I feel and should be taken as such.

well when u marry yer spouse would like u a virgin id imagine, and itd just be bad to get a reputation of a skank... consider your love, your spouse, your futurre one and dont gfive it to some other dude (or dudette)

(Please note that virginity is no guarantee of any other quality in a person...and it's perhaps unwise to use it as a measure of a person's "worth")

A physical relationship will carry emotional consequences....there are so many issues here that it'd be virtually impossible to cover them all in a single BTS thread.

Suffice it to say:

If you're in doubt, do nowt. IOW, if you're having even the slightest doubts, then you're probably better off waiting.

Or, at the very least, get to you know yourself well enough to be able to gauge your readiness. And (this should go without saying), that of your intended partner.

What do people think of a physical relationship that doesn't include full intercourse? Like maybe you're having oral sex instead. Or maybe you've decided you're not going to have oral or anal sex or whatever but you're making out a lot and sometimes getting close to some kind of sex? If you make out too much would you bring on board the same emotional problems as sex itself?