I got a kick out of this:
VALERIE PLAME: "PLEASE STOP LEAVING ME ALONE!"
Supersecret deep-mole undercover CIA operative Valerie Plame held a press conference outside CIA headquarters today, begging the press to stop
respecting her privacy. A glamorously distraught Plame hinted that if the media did not stop avoiding her, she would be forced to write a bestselling
book, & has already lined up gigs with Cosmo, Maxim, & a shot as guest host on Saturday Night Live.
A covert secret agent like Carmen San Diego, Plame previously posed as Agent 99 for Vanity Fair & regularly made the dangerous commute to CIA HQ in
Langley, where she cleverly posed as a useless paper-pusher in the CIA's discredited WMD division. "Wow," said coworker Shirley Wormington,
speaking on condition of anonymity, "she totally fooled me. She sometimes made phone calls from her shoe, but aside from that she was just a typical
civil servant if you know what I mean & I think you do."
Plame was upset about a report that Karl Rove leaked her identity as a covert travel agent who arranged 2 trips to Africa for her husband, failed
diplomat & unemployed layabout Joe Wilson. Plame was also an undercover literary agent who scored an improbable book deal for Wilson in this email
“Plame: I don't want to hurt your feelings, honey, but you're a loser. You were ambassador to Gabon. Hell, Shirley Temple was ambassador to Ghana.
You were such a zero, you were drummed out of the Foreign Service. That's like being too crazy for the Scientologists. The only way a cipher like you
could get a book deal is with the right packaging.”
“Wilson: You mean a snazzy book cover?”
“Plame: No, you moron. I mean we'll pretend you're an important person - I know, I know, it's a stretch - & you're going to call the President a
liar. Bush-bashing is even hotter than chick-lit right now, & with American soldiers dying every day - well, you just can't buy that kind of
Wilson's book was shredded by a Senate Intelligence Committee, but hailed by Moveon.org (an overt agent for George Soros) as well as the NY Times
(an overt agent for the Democratic Party). Speaking off the record, Times editor Bill Keller said "We're really hurting after a string of failed
scandals: Rathergate, Gannongate, Toiletgate, & now this. Our only successful scandal was Jayson Blair, but that wasn't exactly what we had in