Tonight I went for a long walk with my buddy, and after our puny exercise patterns we decided to ruin it by going to Joe's. How can you resist when
your best bud asks if you want to eat the other half of a cow in fire? Personally, I can’t, and the decision was made.
The hostess (wearing a sling) asked us "Dinning room or Lounge?" I didn’t care -anywhere you want to put us sugar face, I’m good to go anywhere
you have room! Into the dining room we go... OOPS.
We get seated at a 24" round table with 17 forks and some salt and pepper shakers. There was also a candle, and a flower. I stopped the waitress -
pointed to "mike" and told her since we weren’t romantically involved, if she could keep the flower for herself. She did, and heterosexual balance
I always look around and observe behavior when I am out, so I started eyeballing people. After I noticed the perfect circle that was the dinning room
hostesses bum, I focused on two couples. Couple A: First or second date maybe? They were acting sort of stiff, watching their jokes, and eating like
they were in England. He did a lot of nervous smiling, and she never moved her neck. Couple B: He looked like the mechanic from WINGS (Church?) and
she looked like a free spirit type. She had curly black hair, and big eyes... a sweet "hello" face and light skin. They didn’t seem right
together, but this is always my first impression. Seemingly, he was interesting, because she continued to smile, and he seems uncomfortable. Well,
about as uncomfortable as a mechanic on WINGS anyway...
Of course, this is where they bring out the warm bread and butter - now, I told myself I wouldn’t have any, but that lasted only 4 seconds. She even
brought us more. How evil.
I got steak tips, and skipped the potato and got green beans. My buddy got chicken brocc/ziti. The bastard. The menu read that mine came with onion
rings, and all 4 of them were cute. I couldn’t eat though... something was missing. I saw mushroom gravy... butter, salt, pepper, (a dumb look on
mikes face) and my diet coke (it’s a low carb thing) I waited for our waitress, and THAT’S when she had in hand the mother of all beef condiments.
A1 STEAK SAUCE! She also brought some other crap which is the house brand, but that had mangoes, and this carnivore doesn’t go that way.
I emptied out the bottle, and that’s when it hit me: It only takes me 74 seconds to eat one pound of sirloin tips. I am so screwed tomorrow when I
hit the bathroom.
Back to my observations: Mr. and Mrs. SpiffyNuts talked a lot about their friends, and very little about themsleves or their likes/dislikes. Stage
fright? I think so - especially when you are butt up against The ODD couple over by the fake olive oil bottles in the wall. Those two guys could only
talk about how to scrape paint off the side of a house. It was funny -for me. They were getting sick though.
My little goddess on the other side was continuing to smile - he still seemed nervous though... but I think that’s his charm. Score.
Watch the commercial, be the commercial
[edit on 15-6-2005 by missinginmaine]