Republicans Fuming Mad At Bush

Republicans found themselves agreeing with Howard Dean recently. Howard Dean stated that the Republican party is exclusively a white Christian party, uninclusive of any other race or faith. When he spoke these words, most Republicans simply nodded their heads in acceptance of the blatantly true statements.

Judge Janice Rogers Brown was just confirmed into the US. Appellate courts. Following this, much to the chagrin of most Republicans, it came out that Judge Janice Rogers Brown is, in fact, black. Immediately an investigation was launched by Sen. Frist to discover how this could have happened without their knowing, and if Bush had snuck any other of these "impure" people by them. The results shook the GOP to its core, and now many Republicans are calling for the impeachment of George Bush.

The investigation exposed that much of the cabinet was not the pure, white race, and it's even expected that there may even be women in his cabinet. The investigation discovered these impure members: Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, Commerce Secretary Carlos Gutierez, Labor Secretary Elaine Chao, Transportation Secretary Norman Mineta, HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson and Secretaries of State Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice.

A source in the senate, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, "Now that we've seen the photos, it seems that not even half of the Bush Cabinet members are white males, and some of those may not even be Christians. The president has secretly assembled a virtual rainbow coalition right under our noses."

Republicans, after having read the investigation's report, shook their heads in wonder, curious as to why they fought so hard to get these people approved. "The White House tricked us into focusing on the accomplishments of nominees, distracting us from the key genetic and theological markers that Dr. Dean has identified as determining factors of Republicanism," said the source.

It has been suggested that other judges whose approval had been filibustered by Democrats in the senate may not have been white males, as well. Another anonymous source stated, "if I'd have known this, I wouldn't have had such a problem with the filibuster. If this turns out to be true, the Republican party doesn't only owe the Democrats an apology, but we need to thank them. We almost made a grave mistake in appointing these non-white judges, but the Democrats were looking out for us."

EDIT: Dual recentlies had to be corrected.


[edit on 6-9-2005 by junglejake]

Source on those anonymous quotes? If you don't have one, you appear to be violating ATS's TOS regarding posting knowingly false information.

Frith, this is obviously a satire piece.

I don't think it breaks the T&C, but probably should have explicitly stated that,.

Originally posted by djohnsto77
Frith, this is obviously a satire piece.

I don't think it breaks the T&C, but probably should have explicitly stated that,.

I know it was satire, but it wasn't stated as such. So I wanted to push it a bit further.

You have voted junglejake for the Way Above Top Secret award. You have used all of your votes for this month.


It's only the 10th and I have used all of my votes. Junglejake is just one of the great conservative voices here on ATS!

Satire is always best when based in truth!

Originally posted by Carseller4
You have voted junglejake for the Way Above Top Secret award. You have used all of your votes for this month.


It's only the 10th and I have used all of my votes. Junglejake is just one of the great conservative voices here on ATS!

Satire is always best when based in truth!

So you believe that democrats have filibustered as a result of racism? Conservatives believe other silly things too so I shouldn't be surprised at this.

[edit on 10-6-2005 by Frith]

Glad to see ya'll letting a little token color in the GOP these days. How much did you pay Armstrong Williams to tow that line and lift that bail again?

I know! Now do one about how much Republicans love gay veterans? That'd be super.

Texas Governor Rick Perry Suggests Gays Leave State

Local NBC Anchor: "Among the protesters were gay veterans and their partners. We asked the governor about his take on gay veterans, many of whom may one day have fewer rights than everyone else."

Rick Perry: "Texans made a decision about marriage and if there's a state that has more lenient views than Texas, then maybe that's a better place for them to live."

Face it. The corporate elite of the GOP can only get the votes of the common man with irrational hate wedge issues. If it's not blacks, it's immigrants, if not immigrants, it's uppity women, if not uppity women, it's gays, if not gays... no it's actually always been gays with you guys... but you've also got that whole anti-science, rapture is coming, Just-Us Certain Kind of Christians, support-billionaire-welfare-or-go-to-hell-for-eternity, metaphysical tyranny, anti-freedom, homogeny thing going. And that's pretty cool.

Jesse Helms '08! Because some things never change.

[edit on 10-6-2005 by RANT]

"I'm not racist! I have a black friend!"

Please.

Maybe you should ask the 88% of blacks, 77% of gays, and majority of Asians, Hispanics and poor people why they didn't vote for Bush in 2004.

www.ropercenter.uconn.edu...

Originally posted by Frith
Source on those anonymous quotes? If you don't have one, you appear to be violating ATS's TOS regarding posting knowingly false information.

It was definately satire, a humorous attempt to point out the lunacy of some recent claims made against the Republican party by the Democratic party.

Glad to see ya'll letting a little token color in the GOP these days.

"I'm not racist! I have a black friend!"

These claims would be leveled at the Republican party even if it was composed of 60% African Americans. It's a political tactic which polarizes America and causes division between races when we should be trying to be bringing races together, equality and stuff like that.

Originally posted by junglejake
These claims would be leveled at the Republican party even if it was composed of 60% African Americans. It's a political tactic which polarizes America and causes division between races when we should be trying to be bringing races together, equality and stuff like that.

Unless you are gay.

If the Republican party ever hopes to be 60% African American (which I seriously doubt it does) things are going to have to change.

A good place to start would be to examine why minorities didn't vote for Bush. We already know why homosexuals didn't vote for him, but what about the 88% of African Americans? And the majority of Asians and Hispanics? And people living in poverty?

Don't get on Dean's case for telling the truth. Republicans don't represent these people--and as evidenced by their lawmaking and strategy, they don't want to.

And BTW, holding up Janice Rogers Brown as an example of how the Republicans embrace minorities and the poor is a joke. This is a woman who wrote numerous dissenting decisions calling the equal employment opportunity act and laws protecting workers unconstitutional, that supported landlords who evicted low-income tenants in violation of existing housing laws, and wanted to weaken civil rights laws that prohibit racial and other discrimination.

Oh, and apparently, Bush's "rainbow coalition" cabinet *IS* just a photo op. According to this weeks ABC News poll, the only Americans that feel that the President is concentrating on their issues are Republicans, Evangelical White Protestants, Conservatives, and those making more money.

abcnews.go.com...



[edit on 10/6/05 by lmgnyc]

How many Republican Senators are a minority? Four.
How many Republican Representitives are minority? 20-30.

You see, it is easy to say republicans don't hate blacks, look at Condi. But she wasn't voted for, neither was Mr. Torture, I mean the hispanic guy who ordered torture and got a promotion for it.

While Dems, well, we have several minorities in the Seante, in fact we have 350% more!(easy to do when republicans have Four!!!!)

Barack Obama ring a bell?
Daniel Akaka, an Islander.
Barbara Boxer, woman.
Maria Cantwell, woman.
Hillary Clinton, a woman, I think.
Russ Feingold, Jew.
Dianne Feinstein, woman and a Jew.
Daniel Inouye, Islander.
Mary Landrieu, woman.
Frank Lautenberg, Jew.
Blanche Lincoln, woman.
Barbara Mikulski, woman.
Patty Murray, woman.
Debbie Stabenow, woman.

So, 14-4. And there are less then 50 democrat senators, so like 30.4% of democrat Senators are minorites, and 7.2% of republican senators are minorities.

Ha, calculator did the math!

[edit on 10-6-2005 by James the Lesser]

If Republicans get just 20% of the black vote Democrats will never again win a major election.

Why do blacks vote in such high percentages for Democrats?

1. Tradition
2. NAACP tells them to
3. They want to be taken care of.

I work in a very high paying field. I work with 4 black salesmen.

1 is a Nigerian and he is a hardcore Democrat. (He can't vote!)
1 is in his early 50's he is a democrat. Too many years to convert him.
2 are younger and are doing well. They both lean Republican. One of them made a quote "Hell yeah I vote Republican I like my money too much"

Democrats take advantage of blacks and they are starting to see this.

Just look at the last elections. Al Sharpton announced he was seeking the Democratic nomination. Then all of a sudden Carol Mosely Braun jumped in. Coincidence? I think not. She had no business running and was only in it to take away votes from Sharpton. Democrats could not chance Sharpton getting the nomination.

Originally posted by Carseller4
If Republicans get just 20% of the black vote Democrats will never again win a major election.

Your gushing premise alone betrays you. That math only works *forever* if you plan on keeping blacks down as a minority.

I work in a very high paying field. I work with 4 black salesmen.

I'm sure you're very worldly and highly respected by your peers. I'm sure they love your theories on blacks as much as I do and say so with just as much sincerity.

Wait, lets not consider women people, republicans don't. So the republicans have !!!!!0!!!!!!! minorities. So 6-0, or Democrats have a 600% more minorities then republicans in the senate. So, no minorities by republicans, and they have the majority!

Democrats have been hoping for a demographic shift to minorities to help them for years, but it doesn't seem to be working in their favor. Many hispanics are shifting Republican and many younger blacks are showing far more independence than they have in the past.

Originally posted by djohnsto77
Democrats have been hoping for a demographic shift to minorities to help them for years

How did you come to this conclusion?

Originally posted by James the Lesser
Wait, lets not consider women people, republicans don't. So the republicans have !!!!!0!!!!!!! minorities. So 6-0, or Democrats have a 600% more minorities then republicans in the senate. So, no minorities by republicans, and they have the majority!

Since when is a woman a minority? There are just as many women as men in the US. There might even be more women than men.

Originally posted by Carseller4
Since when is a woman a minority? There are just as many women as men in the US. There might even be more women than men.

Women are considered a minority in the workplace, but you are correct about there being more women than men in the world.

[edit on 6/11/2005 by Lecky]

Carseller4, is the woman in your avatar one of your 'black republican friends'?


Republicans gush! Black People Love US!

LOL, I haven't seen that website in forever, it's hilarious! What's even more hilarious are the people who don't see the satire (read the "your letters" section)

Quite an accurate depiction curme






[edit on 6/11/2005 by Lecky]