need help undersatnding the trans gender mind

my brother decided he want to become a woman. It is so hard for me to understand. I love him and want him to be happy. He wants to be called a she and change his/ her name . I am having a hard time understanding. I dont care how someone want to dress. If wearing a skirt makes you happy or makeup and heels , then go for it. The part i have a hard time is cutting your body parts off and taking hormones. I feel we should be happy with what God gave us. i dont even agree with cosmetic surgery unless it is a deformity. Can trans people ever except the way they were born and be happy? I am new to this whole thing so please do not be to harsh on me. Thoughts and advice would be appreciated

a reply to: HODOSKE

Maybe talk to your brother.

a reply to: HODOSKE

Long story short it’s a mental illness... don’t tell me that I have to “accept you for who you are” when “you” can do that “yourself”...

I don’t know anyone that is putting themselves through this process and the ensuing “pronoun” nonsense that is remotely happy with themselves or anything else... of course you can’t say any of what I just said without being labeled as a “bigot” or “hater” but whatever... reality just doesn’t suit some people...

a reply to: HODOSKE

This is probably the worst place to go for advice like this.

Talk to some trusted friends/family, your sibling, a counselor, even your physician. There may even be a support group in your area where you can hear from people going through this too.

i sometimes think that also. Body identity disorder is charictorized as a mental illness. When you want a limb cut off because you think it shouldnt be on your body . Wouldnt cutting a genital or breast off be the same? a reply to: SwissMarked

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus
a reply to: HODOSKE

Maybe talk to your brother.

gotta second that... you're going to find a lot of hostility towards transgender people on this forum. talk to your sibling and listen to how they feel instead of telling them how you think they ought to feel and it might be easier to understand.

i will say, when i was younger i didn't understand taking hormones or having surgery. i thought, just be the type of man or woman you are even if that's not what everyone else finds normal. but there are plenty of other people out there taking hormones and having plastic surgery for different reasons. it's your sibling's body to change as they wish, to feel more comfortable and be themselves.

ETA: i do know quite a lot of trans people, and the more they are supported and accepted by those close to them, the better off they are, by far. so please do keep trying to understand.

a reply to: fiverx313 i did talk to him . A lot. But it is just really hard to understand

originally posted by: HODOSKE
a reply to: fiverx313 i did talk to him . A lot. But it is just really hard to understand

i think it'll be an ongoing process. it might be that as you stay in their life and watch them take these steps forward and you see what a difference it makes for them, you will find understanding there, too.

originally posted by: HODOSKE
my brother decided he want to become a woman. It is so hard for me to understand. I love him and want him to be happy. He wants to be called a she and change his/ her name . I am having a hard time understanding. I dont care how someone want to dress. If wearing a skirt makes you happy or makeup and heels , then go for it. The part i have a hard time is cutting your body parts off and taking hormones. I feel we should be happy with what God gave us. i dont even agree with cosmetic surgery unless it is a deformity. Can trans people ever except the way they were born and be happy? I am new to this whole thing so please do not be to harsh on me. Thoughts and advice would be appreciated

I second that comment that this is a mental illness. Sadly, it's one that has apparently become nearly epidemic in proportions and one that, even more sadly, much of the medical community reinforces.

I saw a meme a few days ago that had two frames to it. In one, a man was telling a doctor that he wanted to have his finger removed because he didn't feel that it belonged there and the doctore was telling the patient that he had a mental problem that needed treatment and the doctor couldn't just remove his finger.

In the next frame a man was telling the doctor that he wanted to have his penis removed because he didn't feel that it belonged there and the doctor was telling him that he was a brave and an inspiration.

That sums it up. This is a mental illness. Love your brother. Talk to your brother, but voice your concerns. If he goes through with this, he is making changes that he will not be able to undo. It's not a case of "buyer's remorse" can be solved by getting rid of what you've taken at a loss.

In love, I could not support a family member or friend making this choice. I'd emphasize my love for the person and my commitment to them as a family member or friend, but loving someone does not mean that you actively support self-destructive behavior, mental illness or delusions. And up until just a few years ago the entire medical community realized that that is exactly what this is.

Sadly, this is trying to be "normalized". Roughly 1.2% of North America is trans. That is not a number, that I think, makes transgender'ism normal.

All I can say, is show love to your brother, and hope he doesn't regret some life changing decisions.

Your comments, by far, are the best advice given to someone who is dealing with this situation.

Bravo, excellent post.

a reply to: fiverx313

originally posted by: MiddleInsite
Your comments, by far, are the best advice given to someone who is dealing with this situation.

Bravo, excellent post.

a reply to: fiverx313

thank you, that is very kind

a reply to: HODOSKE

Ask yourself this, if he suddenly said he believed he was a brown bear, would you take him to the river and let him drown trying to catch salmon with his mouth? This is the same thing. Mental illness is only exacerbated by well meaning people pandering to the illness. Professional help should be sought, but there's a distinct lack of professionals these days, sadly.

no reputable psychiatric organization recognizes being transgender as a mental illness...

just putting that out there since it's getting thrown around a lot and i believe convincing the OP of that is likely to be damaging to him, his sibling, and their relationship.

a reply to: HODOSKE

I suggest you speak with your brother and other trans people about this.


The rest of us can only guess.

originally posted by: fiverx313
no reputable psychiatric organization recognizes being transgender as a mental illness...

just putting that out there since it's getting thrown around a lot and i believe convincing the OP of that is likely to be damaging to him, his sibling, and their relationship.

That would depend entirely on how one defines "reputable," and I'd venture that your definition of reputable and mine would differ widely.

It was considered such until a few years ago when the medical community, caving to a socio-political (not medical) movement moved the goalposts. No different from corporations like Coca Cola suddenly deciding that being white is evil.

I agree to disagree, but this very new wave of thought is destroying lives.

Man, I feel like a woman.
Signed,
Shania

Boys will be girls and girls, its a mixed up muddled up world.

Signed,
Ray Davies

Anyway, so if a girl thinks they are a boy and want s sex with a girl......why not just be gay? It would save a lot of money and make it easier to swap back if one decided they like penises again.

a reply to: HODOSKE

Was your brother sexually abused as a child? I'm not being rude, it's an honest question.

a reply to: incoserv

we will definitely have to agree to disagree, because it does seem that by and large when trans people are supported and affirmed their lives are much better. i base that on personal knowledge as well as statistical knowledge.

i would say more regarding your rhetorical points but i don't think it will contribute much to the thread's purpose if we hash it out here. i'm happy to continue via private message if you wish to.

a reply to: HODOSKE

Can trans people ever except the way they were born

From what I'm told by them that is what they are doing.

My theory:

If you believe in god then couldn't this be proof of a soul?
Trans people say what they are inside is not the same as their body.
What else could the thing inside us be if not the soul?

If you imagine that one day you will be a soul in heaven then what do you imagine that soul to look like?
How could you be you if you don't feel like a man? Or feel like a women?
So perhaps souls do feel masculine or feminine. And for whatever reason god has allowed them to have bodies that are at odds with the real them inside.

I'm an amateur theologian and philosopher, as a hobby. So I don't believe or have faith in any religious doctrine. But I can't understand why the christian's or any realign that believes that humans have a part separate from the body that contains the onsciousness. How they aren't at least considering looking into my theory.