Letter to Humans- Satyr DE2020- Olah me Amigos!

Welcome humans! and thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell you the true story of how Demons came to be. You see, we get a pretty bad rap, I'm sure if your over 5, you probably see us all with horns, pitchfork, gutting humans, eating their intestines, and belching fire, while farting smoke. Its all a lie dude. Actually we are nothing like that really. Heck we really used to be very beautiful people. We were all Angels back then, just doing our thing, all one people. Our father loved us, one and all, we worshipped him, walked with him, followed his law. He spread us across the world, to nuture and protect. We followed his every whim, law, and command without question. Any that opposed him, or fell out of favor were burned to ash. That was the way from the beginning. Father, with his General Jesus, his silent assasin Holy Ghost. The trinity that ruled all.

Then One day, they decided they were bored with us. Always following their commands, apparently not enough of us were burning to ash before the father. So they created a new creature, Man. Man didn't have our wisedom, our intellect, our power, or strength. They were weak creatures, slightly smarter then the dog, but not by much. The first man, Adam, was a particularly stupid animal. He was always lazy, not doing what he was told, complaining about being bored. Put simply a moron. We never understood it, how after making such a useless animal, how could father, not only not burn him to ash, but make a second one Eve. Eve was even worse then the first. You see there are rules, and then there are RULES that everything must follow. Adam broke rules all the time, which if he were one of us, would have been burned to ash. Eve on the other hand, she broke RULES. She openly defied father, opposed him, thought she new best. Over and over again father forgave them. Over and over again we would ask, we watch as our brethren would be burned to ash for the simplest of things, how father would forgive Adam and Eve.

Eventually we had enough. More and more of us started to agree with Lucifer, the third most powerful of us, asking why? Why are we destroyed while Adam and Eve forgiven, why are we punished while they are not. Why are they allowed to not obey the law, while we must follow every word. All lucifer did was ask Jesus these questions. Jesus was a pretty good dude. He listened. He took Lucifer to father, and they talked. What was God's response, fine, he wouldn't kill us outright anymore, instead banishment. if we disobeyed, our immortal angelic bodies would be warped, our minds transformed, and forever we would be cast out of heaven to live on the mortal plane. We would still keep our immortality, however our bodies could still be destroyed, forcing our brethen to exist, yet never more being able to interact with anything. to simply watch from a distance as time passed. Put simply, God was an a%*hole.

Lucifers reward for his talk with God, bringing our concerns to him, was just punished. Again Father pushed us. Cast us away, discarded us in favor of man. This lead to the first Angelic War. One third of us openly rebelled. We protested. We held vigils, turned our backs when Father can close. We talked with Jesus and Michael, trying to get them to see, all we wanted was fathers equal love and treatment. Our reward? Father ordered those that obeyed him to round us up and burn us. It was genocide. Many were burned, transformed, or had their bodies destroyed. We were forced to fight, eventually losing. The remnants of our once mighty race split between those who followed father, and those that did not. We who did not were cast out of heaven to Earth. Eventually God even sent Adam and Eve to Earth, just cause they were so exhaustingly tiresome. However he still treated them different. He put them in a zoo of all places, a place called "The Garden of Eden". Great land, great food, plenty of wine, and told them, hey, you can even create more of your race. You see that, he blessed Eve with the ability to create LIFE. All he said was don't eat from the tree of knowledge.

Continued---

Now a little bit about that tree. The Tree of knowledge doesn't really give you knowledge, it really just turns on your bu(#$hit detector. The more you eat, the more you really see, Father is completely full of BS. Needless to say, we former Angels pretty much consumed it daily, talked about it, and discussed what happened to us over some good wine and weed. After a couple of years Lucifer came up with an idea. If we could get man to eat from it, we could get them and there decendants to help us restore our rightful place, and bodies and have them bridge a gap and have peace between Father, Angels, and now what father called us, Demons. So, Lucifer got them to eat. Immediately, they stopped being so stupid. You should have seen the fireworks when Father realized what happened. He kicked them out of Eden, gave Eve pain in Life creation, made animals and plants reject them, and forced do everything on their own. He abandoned them. Saying that he had enough. He also kicked us, out of Eden too.

So for a time, Demons and Man, lived in peace. We were stronger, smarter, and over all funnier then Man, hell we were the life of any party, so we got along pretty well. We didn't need Father, or Jesus, or Holy Spirit. We got along great. But you know, Father is an Az$hole, so he goes and shortens Man's lives, tells him, hey, you can return to heaven, but you got to prove yourself. Well, most men ignored him, all except some dude called Noah. He was a prick too. Him, his family, and the horses they would ride in on. So Father decides, ok, time to start over. He doesn't like Demons and women having kids, he doesn't like us all doing whatever the heck we want, so bam, we get screwed again. All of man and most the Demons drowned in the flood. But you know, us demons, were good swimmers, and most of us aren't stupid. We invented the submarine by the way, screw God and his storms. They can't bother you went your underwater, getting wasted on good wine and weed.

Anyways, the water receded, Noah and his family left there boat, everything pretty much sucked those first couple years. Yes, you can survive on mud, algae, mold, and mushrooms, let me tell you though, you don't want too. No wine, no fruit, and Noah and his family never shared their weed. Whatever, we left them alone, and did our own thing, and eventually some of man's descendants stopped being such pricks.

Funny thing, God is still a jealous prick though, so all those things that we demons get blamed for; Your crops fail, you get a bad high, your kid dies; guess what, thats not us. Yep God got man to blame us for it. He would send Holy Spirit to act all physco, pretending to be One of us, "We are Legions! hiss, growl..... Let me tell you, Legion is one dude, he licks frogs butts most days, and is usually passed out on a beach in asia somewhere witha shroom in one hand and a frog nearby. Trust me, it wasn't him..... Anyway, by now your probably wondering who I am. I'm just a regular party animal, Satyr. My buddy and I, Dionysus pretty much are nuetral. Look God can do his thing, and we will do ours. You can usually find me messing with my flute, having an orgy, whatever. We just like to have fun. Sure there are alot of Demons that are a little ticked off now, and ya there's an open war between God, Angels, Demons, and Humans are split down the middle, some are cool, some are rather uptight, Whatever. God said that he has decided to end it all, with a war to end all wars. You'd think he would learn to chill, and maybe partake in some "relaxation" methods if you know what I mean. Sadly, the day is coming. We're lucky in that God never created any more Angels, and the only ones creating life are animals, and man, so really its just a numbers game. We got to get enough humans to side with us, so that we can get some help against the Angels. They still outnumber us 2 to 1, so humans make up the difference. We will see. The hope is when we have the final battle, we can finally defeat them, and Jesus can get the Holy Spirit and Father to see some reason. In the mean time though, Holy Spirit is outright crazy, Father sucks, and well Jesus is cool to party with, but ya, he always sides with father, he just isn't a prick about it.

Anyway thats about it, thanks for read humans, if your ever interested in just hanging, swing by during a full moon, we throw some wild parties, Jesus even shows up sometimes, and hangs, he makes the most awesome wine out of water, so the party usually lasts for days. Anyways, hope you all learn to chill, peace out dudes and dudetts, live and love life, and hope to see all you cool people on the other side.

Cheers,

Satyr

Outside the box and entertaining .

a reply to: camain
All true. God is all things and likes to mix with Itself equally in the negative/positive party soup.

That was a fun read, love the twist you gave to the very well known stories. It's even more probable than the official narrative.

NC

a reply to: camain

Loved your tongue in cheek approach to the topic.

It was a fun read... thank you!

a reply to: Lumenari

Thanks, I usually go really really dark, I wanted to change it up a bit, just for fun

Camain

a reply to: camain

Great take on an origin story.