posted on Feb, 11 2020 @ 12:29 PM
Seeing as how we’re ALL gonna’ DIE…tomorrow…from from the WU-FLU epidemic/pandemic or whatever, we might as well have a party! I’m
calling it the ‘The ATS 2020 Zombie Apocalypse Party’.
Augustus will be invited to emcee the event. It will all begin with an open bar of Everclear Punch and a nice sit-down dinner of greasy grimy gopher
guts, French fried eyeballs…(swimming in a pool o’ blood)… Oh, and spoons will be supplied (in case you forgot yours). Following this we will
hold a rally where everyone gets whipped up into a frenzied lather about ATS’s favorite theme…VIRUSES and Pandemics! And then it will be time to
really GET DOWN!
We’ve even got our own dance, it’s called the “Panic-Stricken-Shizzle”. Most here already know it, but if not it’s really easy to
learn the steps. The moves go like this:
1. Flail your arms wildly above your head
2. Run around randomly screaming…crying and laughing (all at the same time)
3. Chanting “WE’RE ALL GONNA’ DIE!! WE’RE ALL GONNA’ DIE!!”
4. Crashing into others …(kind of like a Mosh Pit…but morbidly different)
5. Stealing all the butter packets off the tables for “survival”
6. Randomly stopping and sobbing uncontrollably
7. Then hiding under the nearest available furniture, or behind the nearest shrubbery
8. Then jumping up and screaming…”C’mon everybody…Do the Panic-Stricken-Shizzle!!”
9. Immediately repeat, starting at step #1
It’s really a hoot!
To close out the evening we’ll have a group séance (hypnotism section) where everyone is shamed into living in a hermetically sealed bubble and
being afraid of their own shadow.
Door prizes of random body parts removed from comatose guests will be handed out as people collect their coats.