I broke a toilet seat. You know how solid those things are.. after a heavy night of drinking I thought it'd be a good idea to take some valium.
Hurrah.. the next morning after what seemed like an eternity I made it to the toilet.. when all was said and done, I found my legs had wandered off on
their own, and as I struggled to stand on these jelly like appendages, I managed to stand.. but only momentarily.
I took one step and fell backwards onto the toilet breaking a good part of the strengthened plastic seat with the sheer power of my back alone, fell
forwards, knocked my head on the bathtub and knocked myself out for a few hours.
I then went back to bed and found prawn heads all over the floor and my 32 inch tv had fallen onto my telescope rendering the display a perfect
psychedelic random vision of colours, my mouse wouldn't let the middle mouse wheel click, my Logitech keyboard had begun refusing to accept the
windows buttons, I lost my expensive bluetooth ear buds and I still don't know why there were prawn heads all over the floor.
I then found a mysterious tin of eclipse chewing gum in a plastic wrapped metal container. After pondering wtf had occurred, I attempted to open the
tin but first had to remove the plaster shrink wrap. After many attempts and a newly cut right hand thumb, I opened this magical tin, still not
knowing how it had arrived in my house. To my surprise and amazement, it was full of 5 cent pieces? $2.45 worth. I gave up on this bewildering event,
picked up as many prawn heads as I could, yet every time I completed this task, I found a cache of yet more hidden under things. Perhaps they were mad
at me for having devoured their deshelled meaty goodness and had decided to plot against me by flailing out of the kitchen and scattering all over my
bedroom floor, knowing it would be a 40 degree Celsius day.. who can tell, when it comes to disembodied prawns..
I still have the hematoma the size of a large rockmellon in the best part of my back, which has partially congealed now, making it impossible to lay
down, sit in a chair or move properly as it has stopped being a squishy painful sack of blood.
Actually, that's entirely believable.. damn it...
edit on 8-1-2020 by TrustedTruth because: (no reason given)
8-1-2020 by TrustedTruth because: (no reason given)