Originally posted by Reaganwasourgreatest
My daughter suffers from Bipolar disorder, borderline traits (massive cutter), anerexia, and bolemia. She has quite a collection of butterflies going.
If feel for her. I have severe bipolar disorder, and cut just about every place that could be cut. I've been on every psych. med known to man, from
Ativan to xanax. Lithium has helped, but I can't keep a job or a girlfriend because any stress causes me to blow my top. Not phisically towards
others but verbally, though I still do hurt myself.
As for anorexia, I'm a guy, small frame/build and from grade school I thought I was fat. Being bipolar and not knowing until 2 years ago when I was
27 didn't help. People thought I was weird and made fun of me. I was highly insecure, my 3rd grade teacher called me her little old man. I didn't
know why I got picked on so I used to think it was me, my appearence.
By my 20's my average weight was 130 or so, I am 5'9" btw. I was put on all sorts of anti depressants because they couldnt figure out what was
wrong with me. None of them helped. Zoloft made me gain 60 pounds, and I totally lost it. I starved myself for months eventually reaching 110 pounds.
Even made myself throw up often. I looked like a concentration camp victim but I still thought I was fat.
After being in the hospital for a month for other reasons I started gaining weight. I leveled off at 130 again and was ok with it. Then after another
bout of cutting and suicidal idolation they put me on another medication, can't remember the one. It made me gain 60 pounds yet again. So now the
process has started itself all over again. The doctors don't know what to do and I have taken every pharmaceutical route.
Like I said I can totally sympathize with your daughter. It's even worse sometimes as a guy because people, even doctors don't think a guy can have
these "female" problems. It's not something we want to do conciously, most know the implications. But just as with my manic episodes I can't
control it. Like after cutting, I'd think why did I do this, I'd be embarresed to walk around with huige scabs on my arms, but I'd do it again.
And medication isn't always a savior, the side effects can outweigh the benifits, as was the case with all the anti-depressants I took. Without
lithium I'd probably be dead by now, but it doesn't stop everything. But pills don't work, therapy sure didn't do anything, I even had ECT
treatments. The doctors have run out of options and after years of suffering I don't have much hope for a "normal" future.
Sorry this was rambling, I just hope I can show there's other out there who know how it feels.