My Fourteenth World AIDS Day.

Life since Atripla (Trivenz).

I cannot describe to you how terrible it was at first.

Now it's like nothing.

Explain what it's like, your immune system is getting weaker and weaker.

People say ... You look so thin.

At first it's a compliment.

And then the doctor checks, your CD4 count is low and your viral load is sky-high.
Technically you got AIDS.
Now you need pills.

And the first pill?
Wow, I didn't know doctors could prescribe this #.
Well Efavirenz, we know it's similar to '___', but it's still a very effective viral inhibitor.

But if you can get past the first week of psychiatric effects (tripping), it is one of the safest first-line ARVs to take.

Pretty safe with alcohol.

I mean no major toll on the kidneys or liver.

What will happen if there are no more pills?

Then my life is in the hands of Krishna.

So you are convinced, if you stopped popping this pill you will die?

This is what all the evidence says.

The other regimen you can't drink at all.
So now you have AIDS and you're zoning, but the doctor said you must take this.

Good on you!! Stay strong brother, ya look great, happy. Peace and prayers sent your way!

a reply to: halfoldman

But looking at my pill-box - is this a life?

Yes, yes it is. You are alive and with us today to tell your story, to spread awareness. That is a good thing.

Oh flip, that's when it became noticeable.

Before everything.

Me and my granny (I think she was 94 at the time).

Ja, but then ATS came along and corrupted me.

(Wink, wink ...)

Anyway, what I really once looked like.
Before the virus sucked the marrow out of me.

Next time, I know everything better.

Live and learn for now.

There is no "next time".

You did things well, or you did not.

There are no replacement grandparents.

You got one chance in a lifetime.

The summer sun is upon us with a vengeance.

And I must be careful with the sun and the ARVs.
Too much could cause a rash.

But I was looking at the price of sun-screen today, and I thought Oh MY Hat!

Governments, if you want to prevent cancer, don't ban smoking, give white people free sun-screen!

I can actually imagine it.
Stand at the UN truck and hold out your hand.
Please sir, can I have some more?
I'm going to the beach today.

a reply to: halfoldman

I can't remember.

I think we all looked like that after boot-camp.

Just remember that day getting home and thinking somebody get these sticky boots and clothes off me.

I feel a breeze on my skin - what a relief!

The worst is after that, you can't stop eating.

You just wanna grab everything in sight and eat it.

But that's what they said about my grandfather too after the war (and 5 years in a Soviet labor camp).

He couldn't stop eating.
People had to physically stop him.

Because of the near starvation that feeling of "fullness" had completely switched off.

a reply to: halfoldman

That hungry time of the evening when your straight buddy says: "Dude you're looking at me a bit funny. I hope you're not going gay on me".

Meanwhile I'm thinking, you know with some peppers and onion rings you would make a groovy espedata.

[Satire, of course.]

And Monday at the Christmas supper.

You see this man has lost so much weight.

But they are Bishops in their church (they even claim to heal HIV/AIDS).

I can't say for sure, but I can see.

But what can I say?
I said to mom, mark my words, he has it.

The fringes of society:

So this lady (she was only in her twenties, I don't know her exact age), she tried to throw herself off the bridge, but my dad stopped her.

They said she was a meth addict (been to rehab - didn't help), I don't know.

But she looked like a skeleton, and walked up and down the streets cursing at the rubbish.

One day my dad told her - if you touch our bin again, your butt will be kicked - although there's no real evidence she ever did.
Then we all heard she was a whore.

Not sure, I saw her with a fat Bible under her arm, and gave her R5.

Then I heard at a coffee shop, she lived in people's outside toilet.

Now I hear she's dead.
And she did have AIDS.

And I think - I actually miss her.
Maybe I could have spoken to her.
Therefore with the grace of God go I.

But at least somebody found her, and she died in a hospital bed.