It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.
Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.
Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.
originally posted by: KansasGirl
originally posted by: Damla
a reply to: KansasGirl
I agree with you against gort51
dont try playing the strong woman ready to face it all. he ll break you. In unimaginable ways. the more you insist you can get through it together the more unreal and irrational it will get.
He's already shown his cards, by doing this before. More than once. HE WONT CHANGE. Not really. He might act for a while, but he will do this again.
Hopefully the OP will get the hell out of there. And after a while, she will be with someone so much better. Right about that time is when this guy will be doing the same thing to some other girl.
originally posted by: KansasGirl
originally posted by: Fehrie
four or five times actually
Hey lady....been there. I know a bit of what you're feeling. Kind of like that feeling in your stomach you'd get when you were homesick as a kid, combined with gut-wrenching heartache and racing thoughts that won't quit. No appetite, can't sleep, shaky hands?
I promise this is TEMPORARY, just like another member mentioned.
If he's done this before, you need to think about how many more times you want to go through this. HE WILL KEEP DOING IT.
I know that the relief is all you care about, when he comes back around and the crisis is over...or at least that's all I cared about, when the pain was happening.
The worst part of it? Although you don't realize it at the time, the worst part is waiting while HE makes up his mind about what happens next with you.
There are men out there who don't do this #! They exist! And you deserve one, and you Will have one, once you walk away from this guy.
Again- I know it's almost impossible to imagine a life without him and you probably can't even imagine EVER wanting someone else; but you will. You will!
Take control of the situation, sweetheart, and be honest with yourself about what you know about this cycle with him. Then, take some deep breaths and do what you know you need to do.
Sending you strength!
Thank you so much for taking the time to write that. I know what I need to do but I don't think I can do it. I am a spineless coward and I love him so much I can hear myself screaming on the inside about how stupid I am. But the outside just wants to give him my love. I told him that I want the love that I give him back. I'm not sure if he took me seriously... it's only been two days.. but I am still in a state of constant pain. Called out of work for the second day in a row. I keep telling asking myself.. how can he not love me as much as I love him? He wanted me first. I give him so much love. I am completely on par with his physical needs because I tend to want a lot of that as well. I do his laundry.. i show interest in his hobbies. I take care of him when he is sick.. I take care of his dying mother.. I am by a long shot the most attractive person he has been with (that sounds shallow but I am just thinking these things) but I can't think of a time where I have really slipped up and became a boring person, became crazy or done something to hurt him. I have no idea.