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Little Puddles of Pain

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posted on Aug, 19 2018 @ 05:26 AM
I'm a 65 year old bloke these days.

I found out in the last year or so that I have post traumatic stress which I have had since I was 2-3 years old.

It's caused by the fear of and actual episodes of family violence from the time I was about 2-3 years old until I was 13-14 years old. The violence was between my mum and my male parent.

Right or wrong; I had an unhealthy level of need for my mum. During these years i had an unhealthy fear that my mum would die during the course of or as a result of family violence.

Over the years the pressure and the fear that something bad would happen to my mum grew and grew. Eventually; I made a decision that if something bad happened to my mum, then something bad would happen to me to.

In the last year I have woken up in the middle of the night thinking about and going over my past.

One night the following words came into my head. Why? I have absolutely no idea. I am not the slightest bit musical but here they are, there only a few:

"The soul feels the pain, little puddles of pain fall like rain. My eyes make the rain for memories are the pain.
On the brink, the golden light beckons, but a better life also beckons, for pain is just a lesson.
From love we learn little, from pain we learn much, pain refines the soul and makes the golden light glow.
Thank you pain for the gold in my soul.

Anyone is free to incorporate these words into a song.

Should anyone choose to do this and they record a song with the above words in it. It would be nice to listen to it. should anyone choose to use them in a song, it would be nice if you could see your way to send a link to this email address.

thank you

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