The Murphy Guy With The Law Tried To Murder Me

Hey again ATS!

Some of you who've been around for a long time may remember me. I used to post a lot. Compulsively even.

But then I fell mostly silent.

The long and the short of it is that I got sick.

At first, and for a long time I wrote it off as the aches and pains of aging. Fatigue, muscle pain, loss of interest in things, inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite... The laundry list of symptoms was long and diverse.

Thing is that I had some pretty serious heart problems in my youth and decades of PTSD and Bipolar issues as an adult and I basically was so burned out and disillusioned with doctors that I avoided them at all costs. I committed myself to toughing it all out and doing the best I could with what I had at my disposal. Diet, exercise, self-hypnosis, biofeedback, deep breathing... All of the basic "by my bootstraps" things I could think of.

Predictably, I failed miserably. Wish I'd have known, then, that "by ones bootstraps", despite current propaganda, actually began life as an idiom for trying to do the impossible, in the same vein as "when pigs fly". But I digress.

Two months ago my heart went into an irregular rhythm. A very rapid and dangerous rhythm called supra ventricular tachycardia. It's the same symptom that I had in my youth when I suffered from the heart condition I had back then.

To say it scared the Hell out of me would be an understatement. I was 100% positive that my number was being punched and that I was a goner.

I was rushed to the ER and the doctors got the irregular rhythm under control, referring me to a cardiologist who immediately put me on a beta blocker - a heart medication called Lopressor. He also told me to quit smoking - which I did ( and have stuck with it. Today is 26 days without a cigarette! So go me! )

For a few days things were better. Not great, but better.

And then they went downhill with a quickness.

Over the past 35 years I've had hundreds, maybe thousands of panic attacks. But what I began feeling - and felt for 3 straight weeks, non-stop - was exponentially worse. This wasn't panic. This was sheer, mortal terror that did not relent for a single moment.

My blood pressure rose, perpetually, by 60 to 100 points - constantly.

My pulse rate began fluctuating and it was nothing for it to be 40 BPM one minute and 105 BPM the next minute.

I felt as lethargic as a person could feel. I had no energy and could barely get out of bed.

My whole body felt hot and tingly at all times and I constantly felt like I was about to pass out.

I spent a very large portion of June in emergency rooms and hospital wards. I had two cardiac stress tests, dozens of blood tests, liver enzyme tests, pancreas function test, thyroid tests, complete blood counts, full body X rays, sonograms, pet scans, nuclear heart studies... and so much more.

It got so bad that I finalized my will and prepared myself for the inevitable.

Then, two nights ago I arrived back at the ER and saw a new doctor. A doctor who apparently either cared more than the others had OR who was better at his job.

He and I discussed that I also have a much more minor health issue - reflux. GERD. An acidic stomach.

This doctor prescribed me a far more potent medication for the GERD and a mild anti-anxiety medication.

Today I not only feel better than I did for all of June. I feel better than I have in easily a decade.

As I understand it my anxiety, quitting smoking and the heart medication I was prescribed all have the effect of making the stomach more acidic. So acidic, in fact, that it started causing some pretty serious health effects. Those effects pushed my anxiety and panic into overdrive. More panic means more acid. More acid means more panic... Ad infinitum.

The bottom line - Zantac apparently saved my life.

So whenever I write something about my damn luck or how I'm like the Forrest Gump of bad luck... Well here's a window into exactly what I mean by that.

Just thought I'd share this odd story with y'all and let you all know that, assuming things keep looking up, I'll be back to stirring the pot soon.

Thanks for reading!

a reply to: Hefficide

You are remembered.
Glad for you that you seem to be finding some relief, hoping it continues and congrats on kicking the smoking habit.

See you around when you are able and will enjoy reading your posts again.

a reply to: Hefficide

Well, it might have been a winding road, but I am glad to hear that your health is improving, under the care of this new doctor.

Personally speaking, I am always concerned when I hear of someone being unwell and not given either a diagnosis, or even better, an accurate one. Seems to me as if it would be wise to ensure at first, that a persons malady is investigated to the point where science available to the doctor can prove a diagnosis, rather than merely observing and guessing, based on nothing in particular.

In any case, I hope you continue to see improvements Heff. Its good to see you back!

a reply to: Hefficide

The bottom line - Zantac apparently saved my life.

Mine was Nexium. Recommended by a cardiologist of all folks.
And , raising the head of the bed 1/4 inch more than the foot.
Apparently , that is an old cardiologist trick...

You been through hell and back, best wishes on the treatment.

The Zantac can cause irregular heart rates, and since you had them before it is strange the doctor would give it. Maybe the other side effects would signal to get off of it. My father had to take it after surgery for influx but then almost died from a nose bleed while in recovery, that stuff makes you bleed out if you get even a small vessel burst somewhere, no coagulation.

a reply to: Hefficide

I remember you, Heff-- Welcome back! Glad your new doc saw thru the layers of symptoms to diagnose you properly. When I get acid stomach, I drink a glass of water with a 1/4 teaspoon of baking soda dissolved in it. Instant relief and even energy (somehow?) But it sounds like yours is a chronic issue that needs to be managed differently. Just saying that i've felt some of your symptoms on an occasional basis, and it is strange to me how acid stomach can make you feel so bad in other parts of your body.

Stay well, and go crazy posting!

Hold your hands and look upon the stars. It helps the mind understand that life is what not only what we see, but we hope it is.

a reply to: Hefficide

Today I not only feel better than I did for all of June. I feel better than I have in easily a decade.

That's great news Heff , had noticed your absence but then there are a few of the older members who have gone AWOL recently so thought you were one of those , didn't know you had health issues.

Best wishes for the future and staying smoke free , probably the best gift you can give yourself.

Good to see you here again mate.

a reply to: Hefficide

Hey Heff! Wondered 'bout you. Sounds like you and me have the same situation. Glad your back ...

I had a stroke...5 yrs later AFIB at 200 bpm...almost died...my own crew took me to ER in our ambulance. Capt. saved my life...

Today I'm driving the ambulance. Glad you're still with us! Do what you're supposed to, take your meds, and always keep up with me/us!

Best, MS/EMT

Yes I remember you !... Was wondering where you went .... Glad you have found a help and are on the road to recovery . Sounded very scary for you and glad you are back .

a reply to: Hefficide

Glad to hear you are on the mend.

Such small stuff can lead to a cascade of bad.

Stay well...

Good to hear you are well and back on the board, Heff. Always loved the way you expressed yourself when you wrote. Look forward to hearing more from you

Welcome back, Heff!

Good to hear your health issues are now in check. I’ve had a few of those myself, and it’s great (and a bit humbling) to come out the other side intact (with the scars to prove it!).

Look forward to seeing more of you on the boards.

a reply to: Hefficide

Glad to see you at the scribe Heff!
Indeed Zantac changed my way of going way back in the late 70'S...early 80's when I was diagnosed with a duodenal ulcer, having been so ill-feeling for a good while.
My on-the-ball doctor gave me some of the first Zantac, [pills] as they were at that stage, in a first course for a month, and over maybe four or five courses I was pretty much back to normal.
It was caused by a long lifestyle as a musician on the road constantly.
The doctor gave me some background on the medicines use, it seems that the producer company head was a first to try the medicine with what was then, amazing results when there was no absolute cure for those types of ulcers.
As an aside, at that time, my treatment cost 15 pounds sterling a pill!...serious money then and now, at no cost to me as a UK taxpayer....and a cracking doctor. Cheers!

Glad to hear you are doing better, John.Debbie, my wife as you know aka littled16 had a similar problem with GERD. We thought she was having a heart attack and rushed her to the ER. Stomach meds worked.
Be safe bro, and let it be known that , political differences aside, I still like you.

Kevin Doyel AKA kdog1982.

a reply to: Hefficide

GERD does crazy things to your body. I have GERD in conjunction with a hiatal hernia (unknown to me at the time) and was in SEVERE pain- heart attack style pain. After they found nothing wrong with my heart at the ER they put me on temporary meds until I could get into a gastro specialist who after putting a camera down my esophagus and stomach figured out the problem. Since then I have been on Protonix and have to watch my fat and lactose intake- around 2 years- and haven't had any problems. You should ask your doctor about Protonix as it works extremely well to control GERD and is a once per day time released pill (also it's small and easy to swallow).

a reply to: Hefficide

This is all I can contribute to your conditions, Heff, but I want you to listen to me.

When, after six months after quitting cigs, my doc asked me, "how do you feel about cigarettes now?" She was thinking that I 'd be hating on them and telling her that they stunk and such. I said: "you remember that burnout friend of yours in high school ........ they always got into trouble and when you hanged out with them, you got into grief, but when they left you you missed them?? Yah. That's how I feel about cigarettes."

It's true. I miss them even still. I tell you this because I want you to stay the course. You are beyond both the physical and the psychological addiction. You are officially a NON-addict. You are free.

Still, you will think sometimes late at night........ gee, I miss my old friend. What would one cig hurt? Oh and your mind will create all these control dramas, like "well, let's just see what it tastes like??? It will probably taste terrible!!" Don't fall for it. Your brain still loves the rush. Don't give in. Trust me on this. '

I have been a year and a half without a single puff, and brother has it been a struggle. If I could have wrangled a Xanex prescription, I would have. Whoof.

Much respect Heff. Stay the course. It will get better, but it will take much longer than the "experts" say i t will.

I am okay now. You will be also.

Stay the course.

a reply to: Hefficide

It has been awhile Heff. Glad to hear from you.

I am sorry that you have gone through a rough time, I know all too well the feeling.

It sounds to me like you've hopped on the good health express now. That's fantastic!

Coincidentally, today is my last day of smoking cigarettes.


Take care Heff.

I remember you Heff and missed you! I'm so sorry you have been going through so much Hun. Here's wishing you better days ahead!

How could anybody ever forget the awesomeness that is Hefficide?

Stay well and prosper!