posted on Dec, 12 2017 @ 11:24 AM
I felt fragile. Not in a way like a Christmas ornament, made from the finest thin glass would be. Not at all. I was fragile as a hydrogen bomb
that’s leaking its fuel for years, ready to blow. It was 11am and I was sitting front of my laptop, with a piece of paper in my hand that in one way
or other will change my life for the better or for the worst. No way to know for sure. Despite all the hours I’ve fantasized about this moment,
despite all the scenarios and ideas ran through my head in the past many years, I was just sitting there not knowing what to do. In fact I was sitting
on this chair in the past 4 hours, going through emotions, from euphoria to worry, straight to fear then back to happiness. All changed within minutes
back and forth.
I took a deep breath and looked at the screen again, then looked at the piece of paper in my hand for the thousandth times today. The six numbers on
the paper were still the exact copy what was displayed on my laptop’s screen. At this moment, technically, I was worth one hundred and fourteen
million dollars as the sole winner of this week’s Powerball lottery jackpot.
I felt fragile like a bomb because of the conversation in my head in the past 4 hours. There were two imaginary voices, Mr Paranoia and Mr Naivety.
One of them often looked at life much darker than it was but with a lot of common sense. The other was arguably happier but has been burned and
disappointed many times. They were arguing with each other and simultaneously tried to convince me what I should do next. In all my life I always had
a plan with a plan B of what to do, but today was different. I was not ready for this and the argument in my head between them was not leading
‘Do not tell anyone! It would be the end of the road man’ Mr Paranoia said to me. ‘As soon anyone but you knows about this, you will have
problems like you would never imagine.’
‘Like what problems? Why are you so paranoid all the time? You are finding problems in the best things in life.’ Mr Naivety replied. ‘He can
certainly tell his wife, he must in fact!’ he demanded.
‘Telling his wife? Yeah right, even if she says she won’t say anything to anyone, the next minute she will be on the phone with her mom. Her mom
will tell the neighbour, and from there it’s like putting it on Facebook. How crazy are you really?’
He had a point there I had to admit. My wife is an amazing woman in every way, but she has two weaknesses. Chocolate and secrets. I mean I usually
know what I am going to get for Christmas by September.
‘No, he has to keep it secret and lie about it’ Mr Paranoia continued. ‘Tell her you got a huge bonus, or say you invested in crypto at the
beginning. Do not tell her the real amount. Not to her, not to anyone.’
‘You are being ridiculous you know that right? Tell me why he would not enjoy the rest of his life with 114 million?’ Mr Naivety said.
‘Ok here you go something out of my head. Kidnapping. How do you like them apples?’ Mr Paranoia asked. ‘He would have to worry about his loved
ones forever. He needs to keep it secret, buy an island and live in peace very privately. Just has to come up with a good cover story about where the
money came from.’
‘A story for what, dude? 114 million dollars? Good luck with that, she is not stupid you know? If it was 10mill I would agree with you but a 114?’
Mr Naivety argued. ‘No, he needs to tell his wife about it and live a great life ever after with her. Nobody will want to hurt them why would they?
Everything will be alright.’
‘No it won’t.’
‘Yes it will.’
‘You are wrong.’
‘No you are wrong.’
‘Shut up Naivety.’
‘You shut up Paranoia.’
Sitting there listening for this two for hours and still not knowing what to do and how to do it, I was very close to blow up.
‘Enough!!!!’ I shouted out loud. ‘I can’t take this anymore, I supposed to be overly happy right now! I know what I have to do’ I said to
myself. I stood up and got a lighter from the kitchen.
‘What do you think you are doing?’ Mr Naivety asked
‘Oh No No No NO NOOO’ Mr Paranoia yelled as I held the lottery ticket into the fire. I heard Mr Naivety shouted something as well, then both of
them at the same time until their voice washed together and changed into a noise of a very loud buzzer. Beep beep beep beep… The burning ticket
disappeared along with the laptop, the chair and table and Mr Paranoia and Mr Naivety, and I woke up.
Straight away I went for my wallet and pulled my lottery ticket out. I turned my laptop on and went to the lottery website, starting to check my