posted on Nov, 14 2017 @ 11:46 AM
"That's genius Papa" a glimmery eyed Joseph proudly said to his father.
"This was your good friend little Adolf Henlers idea. You stick close to him, son. I think you two will one day lead the wild turkeys to world
domination. Now take this pumpkin spice spray and spread the pheromones to help attract more humans. Hurry now, they will be gathering soon."
Joseph took the spray and took off in full flight. One by one he sprayed a direct trail from the front doors of each house directly to the trap that
lay in wait. As he did, his mind wondered about how else he could help.
He came up with an idea. Among the wild turkeys there were those that believed the factory turkeys could be rescued and brought into the wild. Joseph
did not share this view. They were inferior beings that must be exterminated less they poison the pure gene pool. So, he would spread false
information. He would blame all of the shortcomings of the wild-lings on the factory turkeys. He would make everybird believe that the factory turkeys
were on the side of the humans trying to domesticate and fatten all the wild turkeys.
He would call it...Propagizzarda.
He smiled at the thought as he finished his last spray run to the trap. He would tell Adolf his plan as their families feasted on humans tonight.
Together, they would see the wild turkeys reign forever over this world.
For now, he needed to take his spot next to his father. A tall oak tree stood not far from the table. It's final leaves were in the process of
falling to the ground now as the light breeze kept this clear morning slightly chilly.
As he landed on the branch next to Papa Fritz, he smiled. This truly was the best Thanksgiving ever. His father wrapped his wing on around him and
they sat quietly waiting. Then, the first door opened. A fat female human poked her head through the threshold. Sniffing the air. As the sent drew her
gaze towards the trap, Joseph could see her eyes light up with joy.
As she stepped out of her house and walked briskly toward the trap she pulled a small rectangle from her pocket. Without even looking where she was
going, the dopes fingers tapped furiously on the small device as she picked up the pace.
“What is she doing Papa?” Joseph asked
“She’s telling the other humans about the pumpkin spice lattes.”
What an idiot! he thought to himself.
She was reaching the table just as many of the other front doors began to open. Like zombies they began to head towards the trap, all with their heads
down tapping on little rectangles.
The first woman approached the table. She looked skeptically at the hipster dummies. Joseph could see the condescending look she was giving them. As
if they didn’t belong there. He could actually see the hate she had for these other humans. It was going to be easy to turn them against one
The woman was about to say something to the hipsters when one of the dummies let out a prerecorded message.
“You’re tots going to love this latte. A peace offering from a rando, I know is a little weird but we just think you all are tots adorbs and want
to say happy thanksgiving!”
The woman gave a fake smile and grabbed a cup from the table. She filled her cup and turned to see how far away more of her kind were. Luckily they
were coming in fast. When the others saw the hipsters they had a slightly worried look on their face but the presence of one of their own put them at
Slowly but steadily the area filled with yuppies. Soon almost the whole little hill was covered with them. Joseph looked across to the top of another
oak tree. He could see his friend looking back at him. Joseph smiled as little Adolf Henler sent a slight nod his way. Adolf pecked somehitng with is
The scent of pumpkin spice and human guts filled the air. Body parts were lifted high above the tree tops and the 4 wild turkeys watched in amazement
as charred medium rare pieces of human slowly began to rain down around them. They let out gobbles of joy as they swooped down to the carnage below.
They gathered as many pieces of meat as they could carry and took off for the woods, laughing all the way back to their trees.
Mrs. Fritz, Joseph’s sisters, and the Henler family were waiting for them. When they saw the meat the boys were carrying they started waddling
around in joy. The boys dropped the meat all around them and landed next to their loved ones.
They all danced and laughed as they feasted on the charred fatty remains of the uppity humans. Adolf and Joseph plotted their world domination into
the wee hours of the night as they gorged on flesh. It was the happiest Thanksgiving ever.