originally posted by: Justso
a reply to: Revolution9
I am very touched by your humanity and real life experiences and wanting to help the homeless.
I have worked with several programs to house, feed and take care of homeless families, especially children. It just about did me in; depressed me so
much-I had to be told by many people I could only effect so much and then had to let go.
It hurts still to think about it-these days I just do what I can and try not to let destroy my own life.
Cool! You KNOW. See, it's not just me saying it. It is more draining than nursing. I have done both. All care work is the hardest work to do. It's
messy, there are no clear boundaries, it's depressing and often working forwards and going backwards.
Certain of the homeless are kind of naughty, but it's not their fault if you know what I mean.
Yes, there are some who are just homeless for a short time. Often and mostly, the councils and charities will get them a home. It's never a good idea
to blanket people together. The reasons for homelessness are as many as the people experiencing homelessness.
To see and experience a person without a home is really hard to take because deep down we know how we would feel in the same position. When people are
homeless it is nigh on impossible to stay organised and you are very vulnerable at those times.
Yes, you sound very compassionate, too. At least we gave it a go. I wonder if many people these days do stay very long on the front line working with
Care work isn't rewarded properly in terms of wages. These people are carrying civilization on their backs quite literally, working with the most
precious thing of all...HUMAN BEINGS. I did all that work, went home to an empty little rented flat in a very needy area. I would go home and cry. In
the end I was just crying all the time and crumbling. There was NOBODY there for me to listen to the woes of my shift. With no support and working
such long hours I was on borrowed time. I think subconsciously I was having one last burn and wanted to go out with a bang from that work life I had
been leading in one form or another most of my adult life. I worked with just about every client group between 1989 and 2005 with a three year break
of college and university.
Yes, it still hurts and sometimes at emotional things I still cry. I am not a cry baby. Soldiers do this, too, when they remember the emotional
traumas of what they saw in terms of human suffering.
It doesn't help when you have filled your life up with altruism and then you are left with a broken heart. You then feel guilty and useless because
there were many times when you failed at helping a person, because you are only human.
Yeah, ONLY HUMAN! I am haunted by some of the things I tried to do but did not do correctly. Had a young guy who I liked die on my watch in a hostel
(happens often of course). I had to represent the council in court at the inquest and explain to his Mom that there was nothing we could have done
better to help her son. Another guy I was keyworker to disappeared and the police found him at a quarry. He had killed himself. How lonely was the end
of that guy's life. Worse, too, he came to me telling me he could not cope. I was trying to give him ideas about what he could do with not much
I cared for two guys. Both of them died. I was working privately for a family caring for a guy with Alzheimer's in his own home. He got too poorly and
had to go onto the ward. The family asked me to continue to care for him on the ward as his private nurse. I did this, but the hospital kept trying to
sabotage me. I was like being torn down the middle between the family and the hospital. The hospital tried to tell the family it might be me making
him behave funny (they wanted me away you see). The family thought they were being absurd because we had become very close and they knew me. I kept
back for a time so they could see clearly it was not me, which of course it was not. I could not go back because they distrusted me and that's
pointless. He died just a few days later.
I cared for a younger biker guy who could only use one hand out of all his limbs because of very severe MS. We had a kind of fun together. He was
stubborn and your typical biker, but very likeable. His family were using him to get money and a mini bus (mobility allowance; this guy was huge you
see). He knew it. He told me he wanted to go in a home rather than have to go back to them if his care package for independent community living could
no longer support him because his needs became too great. His dad started shouting at me so i had to leave. They were very rough cockney types from
the East End of London. His Dad was huge like his son. He was mighty hard to move around. I did my back in several times despite all the training and
equipment. Again, he died a few days after I left because the new carer did not know how to give him that level of nursing care. He was by that time
at death's door.
I had a weird way of keying into the psyche of the clients I worked with. I was actually able to keep them living, may be too well. Once when the guy
with Alzheimer's had to go in for major brain surgery he got totally panicked in his confusion (wouldn't anyone). He suddenly remembered that he had
been through it all years before with the brain surgery he had at another time. There was a transference thing happened where I saw through his eyes
and felt the emotions as he felt them. It was really horrible and after that experience I was done for: I became far too client centred for my own
good. That psyche phenomenon does happen. Many care workers and nurses have heard of it happening. It is like you become that person; the imprint of
their emotions and their vision become your's just for a brief second. Wow!
Yes, that and all the bodily excretions you have to clean up, all the meeting of personal hygiene needs, all the chores. You know, humans are only
built to carry one individual. One adult carrying two is huge stress in all ways. That is obvious.
edit on 26-9-2017 by Revolution9 because: (no reason given)