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Earth Finally Gets Noticed [AAM2017]

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posted on Sep, 2 2017 @ 01:33 AM
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Earth Finally Gets Noticed

The message came via currier. The entire family was with me when it arrived. After spending half my life in training, I was finally going to get an Ambassador spot on another planet.

The Planetary Office Of Protocol (POOP) had been my home for almost as long as I could remember. The training was intense. The drop-out rate averaged around 98 percent. Only the smartest, the bravest, the strongest survived the tests and constant training.

Once you graduated from POOP though, you were considered the best of the best, a leader, and a representative of the best that the galaxy had to offer. All ambassadors were heralded as the true saviors of the peace that reigned throughout the entire galaxy. We were all proud of our POOP. I was proud of my POOP. My parents never stopped talking about POOP and my gal; she constantly took pictures of me and POOP to show off to her friends.

That isn’t to say that we didn’t have competition in the galaxy.

There are a federation of planets that have their own ambassadorial program. The Federal Army Regional Territories (FART). They are often louder than POOP. Some planets expect POOP and get FART instead. Often times, planets were expecting FART and got POOP instead.

It was a mess.

They (FART) are louder than POOP and certainly make more noise. But POOP is proud of their own efforts and has made massive movements towards eliminating waste in planetary negotiations. As a proud member of POOP, I can say that we have won a number of awards. Specifically, the Global Re Unification Nexus Trophy, or GRUNT.
You won’t find a POOP without a GRUNT, although, to be honest, several FART efforts have been rewarded in GRUNT’s.

But I digress.

The messenger had arrived, the band was ready to play and the target planet was going to be announced.

Everyone was silent as the messenger stood at the podium and unrolled the scroll to read the contents.

“By the Planetary Office Of Protocol, I hereby announce the following; Zek Begreeblow is now the official Ambassador of the planet the inhabitants call, Earth.”

The messenger cleared his throat.
“That is not all. The Planetary Office Of Protocol has also invited the Federal Army Regional Territories to also share in ambassadorial responsibilities of this planet. POOP and FART are both going to visit Earth.”

It was the proudest moment of my life. My parents wept. Earth was in for such an honor to be visited by POOP and FART.


I only hope they take it as seriously as I do.




posted on Sep, 2 2017 @ 05:17 AM
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That was funny bro, nearly sh#t my pants. Good show



posted on Sep, 2 2017 @ 05:53 AM
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a reply to: DBCowboy


“By the Planetary Office Of Protocol, I hereby announce the following; Zek Begreeblow is now the official Ambassador of the planet the inhabitants call, Earth.”


Gee, I hope Zek doesn't order an invasion! If he uses T.U.R.D.S. (Thermonuclear Underwater Rocket Defense System) against us, that would be a crappy situation for sure!

Very funny story! Thanks for the morning laughs!

blend57
edit on 2-9-2017 by blend57 because: I needed a second cup of Java as well...



posted on Sep, 2 2017 @ 05:58 AM
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I'll revisit the thread after my second cup of coffee.




posted on Sep, 2 2017 @ 06:43 AM
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too funny for this early



posted on Sep, 2 2017 @ 08:02 AM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Lmao! Awesome DB



posted on Sep, 2 2017 @ 09:07 AM
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I'd like to thank everyone who read this. Your kindness is appreciated.



Let this be a warning!

Friends should not let friends post drunk!




posted on Sep, 2 2017 @ 02:11 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

I can always rely on you to bring the laughs.. and the poops and farts.

Lol!




posted on Sep, 2 2017 @ 03:05 PM
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a reply to: knowledgehunter0986

Thank you.

I can't wait until this gets entered in the Library of Congress.




posted on Sep, 3 2017 @ 11:12 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

Be aware that this is under review with the Urgent Review Into Naughty Epithets, Silly Teleologies, Anal Innuendos, Non-Sequiturs (URINESTAINS).



posted on Sep, 3 2017 @ 11:20 PM
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a reply to: chr0naut



Sounds like my kind of organization!
edit on 3-9-2017 by DBCowboy because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 11 2017 @ 02:06 PM
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a reply to: DBCowboy

You're a pistol, you're really funny.




posted on Sep, 11 2017 @ 03:46 PM
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originally posted by: TNMockingbird
a reply to: DBCowboy

You're a pistol, you're really funny.





Thank you!



posted on Sep, 30 2017 @ 01:14 PM
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You won me over at (POOP) it striked me like a (SNIFF ) probe , Secondary Neptunian Infiltration Frequency Finder , on Uranus

One can't beat a story that's to funny to read in one breath. .
edit on 0b39America/ChicagoSat, 30 Sep 2017 13:37:39 -0500vAmerica/ChicagoSat, 30 Sep 2017 13:37:39 -05001 by 0bserver1 because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 30 2017 @ 01:14 PM
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Double post
edit on 0b36America/ChicagoSat, 30 Sep 2017 13:15:36 -0500vAmerica/ChicagoSat, 30 Sep 2017 13:15:36 -05001 by 0bserver1 because: (no reason given)



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