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Ed finally decides to take a vacation.

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posted on Feb, 5 2005 @ 08:31 AM
He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life -- until the boat sank.He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies--- nothing; only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most
gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to him. In disbelief, he asks

Where did you come from? How did you get here?

I rowed over from the other side of the island, she says. I landed
here when my cruise ship sank.

Amazing, he says. You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up
with you.

Oh, this? replies the woman. I made the rowboat out of raw material
found on the island. I whittled the oars from gum tree branches; I
wove the bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern came from a
Eucalyptus tree.

But-but, that's impossible, stutters Ed. You had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?

Oh, that was no problem, replies the woman. On the South side of
the island, there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I
found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into
forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to
make the hardware.

Ed is stunned.

Let's row over to my place, she says.

After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As Ed looks onto shore, he nearly falls out of the boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he could only stare ahead, Dumb struck.

As they walk into the house, she says casually, It's not much, but I
call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?

No, no thank you, he says, still dazed. I can’t take any more coconut

It's not coconut juice, the woman replies. I built a still. How about
a Pina Colada?

Trying to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down
on her hand-woven couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories,
the woman announces, I'm going to slip into something more comfortable.
Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom.

No longer questioning anything, Ed goes into the bathroom. There, in
cabinet, is a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a
hollow ground edge are fastened onto its end inside of a swivel mechanism.

WOW! This woman is amazing, he muses, what next?

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines
strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to
sit down next to her. Tell me, she begins suggestively, slithering
closer to him, We've been out here for a really long time. I know you've been
lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right
now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know... She stares into
his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. You mean---, he swallows
excitedly, We can watch the Super Bowl from here?

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