The Answer You've Been Looking For...

I Confess...

Baby you know I'm Guilty.
Cops, judge, and jury they all agree
if love's the crime, i'm doing time
and i don't look like I'll ever get free
yeah baby you know I'm guilty.

Baby you know I'm guilty
while you're my Clyde I'll be your Bonnie
I could pretend, I'll be good again
but why, lovin' you is the charge I'll never beat
cause baby you know I'm guilty.

Baby you know I'm guilty.
so lock me up and throw away the key
I don't need no bail if you're the jail
just give me life and grant me no reprieve
cause baby who knows, this case is closed
and I don't suppose I'll make a plea
cause baby you know I'm guilty.

Yesterday a friend who knows nothing about my posts here on ATS brought this passage forward to me at seemingly random (but it was actually Divine synchronicity)... it applies to everything I was trying to accomplish with this thread and is sort of a prelude to Ch 9 of TLT which I'll post sometime soon ("Infected by the Venom of Venus"):

2 Corinthians 12:

It starts out as

1
I must go on boasting. Although there is nothing to be gained, I will go on to visions and revelations from the Lord.

I'll skip a few pieces and you can read the full context yourself if you so desire, but here in 1 expressing that boasting about God choosing to inspire you is something to be proud of, but there's a catch and it explains it a lil later on...

3
And I know that this man—whether in the body or apart from the body I do not know, but God knows—
4
was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell.

That's exactly what happened to me in my experiences, but I am going to try my best over the next few years to express these things as I believe I was shown them specifically because I am permitted to tell them, and even instructed to.

5
I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses.

This part raised my eyebrows because I also feel that I am suppose to boast about my weaknesses, that I am to honestly reveal my faults and mistakes to everyone openly so they may understand how God works in someone's life as a matter of example to learn from. I know I learned the most from stories where the main character had many issues and faults and problems to contend with, but still triumphed despite them, and this is what really develops a good story.

6
Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say,
7
or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.

This part here is what really struck me, because it describes a "messenger from Satan" as "a thorn in my flesh" specifically sent by God to serve a certain purpose of great importance - to prevent conceit.

For my situation this is exactly what happened, I was sent a 'demon' for lack of a better word, that torments me in bizarre ways, but there's a ton to explain about this and it is definitely not what you'd think at first glance. Number 1, it's not actually a demon though we would call it that. 2 It isn't evil though we might think it were, and 3 God sent it and it serves an important purpose - to prevent conceit during the metamorphosis of divine inspiration and becoming a teacher of those mysteries.

So my upcoming thread is about becoming 'possessed by a demon', even though that's not actually what happened scientifically speaking but it's a good way to describe it via comparison and using simple terminology. In the thread I'll address the psychology, neurology, and physics of what I'm actually talking about and propose theories of how it actually works in modern English terminology. So it isn't what it sounds like and it isn't quite what most think of it as, but it is indeed what we can call 'possession'.

I even met a group of Christians who speak in tongues and prophecy (to a very limited degree), and although they are very pretentious, judgmental, ignorant, foolish, nonsensical, and annoying - one of them did actually visually see my 'demon', she even described it in mind-blowing detail, and she answered some of my questions to a sufficient level to prove to me that she did somehow 'see it' psychically (which 'psychic' isn't what people think it is, and I'll explain that in detail later).

I'll explain that story in the upcoming thread at some point and give context within the thread. I'd like to hide a lot of the revelations for now though, so be patient, I'll try to hurry.

8
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.
9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
10
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Ok so what makes this interesting is that my 'demon' cannot be exorcised, and in fact I'd rather it not be. But it is 'bound to me to fulfill a purpose' and this section here explains that Paul also went through an incredibly similar process that I did, which blew my mind because I generally do not like Paul's writings very much. That's something I can get into at a much later time. Also the terminology "Christ" I believe is deeply misunderstood but bear with me here and let's just stick to the basic premise of my post here - weakness and a thorn in the flesh...

So what Paul is explaining here, and I would fully agree to anyone thinking I should be 'exorcised' (I realize this sounds really #'d up but just give the benefit of the doubt that the terminology is misleading and it isn't what it seems initially), is that God does everything for a reason, and if God curses you with something debilitating and overwhelming it is because it serves a purpose. In my case, as well as Paul's, the 'thorn in the flesh' was put there to create severe Weakness and to allow God's Grace (undeserved favor) to be shown through those weaknesses by lifting me up out of that Weakness into Divine Strength and success against all odds. So I ought to boast of my weakness because in that weakness God gives me power.

Nearly every great story is composed of these elements, from Sampson or David to the guy down the street who beat cancer or the woman who lost her leg but still became a track and field champion. They were given an incredible weakness, pain and suffering, they had to struggle, they cried a lot. But in that weakness God made them examples of how we can lifted out of that horrible tragedy and raise up into God's Glory as a champion, an inspiration, a story worth telling and sharing.

That's what it's all about.

So no matter how many insults, persecutions, hardships, trials or tribulations, challenges or difficulties you or I might face, we ought to delight in them because this is what makes us who we are, our Strength comes from overcoming these Weaknesses. God wants to reveal Power through us, and we have to remember that. It is so hard to keep focused on this, I know it first hand everyday, but when we keep our eye on the ball we can WIN BIG! A true victory is hard fought, it takes time and patience and it must necessarily require a struggle. That's a good story, that's something to live by and follow, that's what our lives are all about.

Everyone is going to face 'demons' in their life - everyone will have weaknesses set upon them. You and I are here to learn as much as we can from them, never give up on overcoming them, and to let God show Power through us as we become victorious in Spirit. We must become examples for others and spread that inspiration and courage because people need it, because people deserve to become champions with God in this life too...

11 I have made a fool of myself, but you drove me to it. I ought to have been commended by you, for I am not in the least inferior to the “super-apostles,”[a] even though I am nothing. 12 I persevered in demonstrating among you the marks of a true apostle, including signs, wonders and miracles.