posted on Nov, 25 2016 @ 09:36 PM
I have been a CP for a good majority of my life, with the gift of knowing what's inside someones heart and sensing BS in everyone. I learned the
hardway about trust.
Those enlightened abandon hope for truth. Those enlightened trust no one. Its pretty lonely because I have no one to talk to about this stuff. I try
to get people in my life to question everything but it falls on deaf ears
I enjoy metaphysical and prophetic theories the most, and may have fried my brain this past week from overdoing my reading. Lol.
That said, Im in my mid 30's and play in a hardcore punk band on guitar. Enjoy the following poem
These hands were strong once, they held my head & what’s inside. I tried to train them to stop the shaking, but they wouldn't listen to these lies.
There's something out there I promise, it's coming for all of us, & it is evil, & I have seen it, it takes life & devours trust. It's bad when I
close them and worse with my eyes open. I see it if I sleep. So I keep my mind blank, & think of bravery, change & hope but I'm so weak. Please take
me in like I'm family, I've been out for far too long my stone hearts aching, but I am changing. stay by me, leave me alone. I’m changing, I hold
my head to keep from shaking my hands are full, but I’m not.
I thought these hands were strong with how they used to hold the world. Then It slipped away, I couldn't keep it, & now nothing isn't blurred, but
ever since the first time that I flew above the stars like a dragon into heaven trying to tiptoe past the guards, with bricks & bones, blood & stones
& skin holding it all loose. I take one last breath & don’t think of death, that halo made a noose, & let's not speak of murder even if the motive
is clear, because death is sleep anyways, & I'm fine right here. I couldn’t see what I was looking for, didn’t want to hear it trying to control
everything I see, when all I could do is swim in it, or drown or tread in these careless waters just to get by, & just getting by? choking down every
single ridiculous lie. Like an axe in the back, like a coward or a hack. Now regret hates me, it’s fear that saved me putting mountains in my path.
These arms were strong once, they moved the ground to keep us safe, but they are crumbling, my fingers numbing. I'm not reaching out I'm pushing you
away. Please trust it's for your well being, I don't want you here when I come down, so no words are spoken, with my eyes wide open, I’m all ready
to be found. I’m changing, I hold my head to keep from shaking my hands are full, but I’m not. I’m changing, I hold myself to keep from shaking
these hands are done, but I’m not.
And I’m not full, but I’m not done either just trying to hear what I need to see, & If I see it I promise I’ll let you hear it & if you’ll
listen, then I’m all ears. These hands weren’t made for us but they grab at every will we conjure up, my hands weren’t built for me but they
still burn the ground enough. Acting like they want to be found, just to go & hide again these hands are all to blame, tearing where it needs to mend.
Each finger bent in shame, knuckles every shade of white. Our hands are all the same, over our face cover our eyes. My passports all worn out, if you
need these hands they’re all for you. I don’t know what I want, but I know what I don’t want to do