posted on Nov, 22 2016 @ 07:27 PM
a reply to: tikbalang
Right now? No. I am not alive. It's probably going to be half past one in the morning by the time I finish this post, and I am not awake because I
need to be. I am awake because just as I was about to drop off to a nice, natural sleep at about twenty five past midnight, I got a text message from
a lady who does not know that I care for her a great deal, and long to know her better.
I text her back right away. I am sure she fell asleep right after sending the message, because I got no reply...but the idiot in my brain decided to
stay up this past hour, and make a big deal of itself, loudly in the confines of my skull.
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?... You know where this is going.
In any case, right at this moment in time, I am not living, I am existing. A sleepless zombie going through the motions, a machine winding down to a
stop. In some hours to come, I will no doubt start living again, but as I am right now, with mind clogged by probabilities and possibilities, and by
frustration and doubt.... No. This is not life, this is mere existence. Life will begin again tomorrow. I have work to do, a driving lesson to attend,
perhaps a trip to the bank, and maybe, just maybe a life to live.
Strange thing, living.