Now that the worst of it is over, I can add a few more details.
I had forgotten to take my medications at the normal time yesterday, I wrote this thread while I was waiting for them to kick in. They help with the
majority of some symptoms, but not all of them, and if I skip a dose I can get overwhelmed by sensory overload exceedingly quickly.
Over twenty years of cognitive behavioral therapy learning to accept the realities of my biology and it still blows me away two little capsules can
make such a big difference in how my brain processes and reacts to information.
Secondly, it's not the Harley Riders so much that bother me.....they're nice folk and we frequently exchange nods as they pass by on their steel
horses. Heck, if I could manage, I'd have a bike of some sort myself, but I know damn well I'm not suited for such a free-wheeling lifestyle. I
could manage a car alright, I'm an excellent driver, but there's no way in hell I could afford the monthly payment, insurance, gas, maintenance,
Thirdly, twenty years ago the entire "fast food alley" across the street was all pine trees. Then the city planners decided to sell out and now it's
a concrete corridor for at least eight miles. It's a sound amplification channel. Even the police and firetruck sirens can be heard for at least a
mile away when they run through, and I'm only a block away. The fact that there were residences in close proximity didn't factor into the business
decision because hey - poor people, right? Who cares? What can they do about it?
And lastly, as much as I hate to admit it.....I think I'll be here in this place until I die or they tear it down for another quick buck on the
property market. That's where it really hits home and grinds itself in. I'm living in a "At Will" state, one of the poorest in the country, and they
don't have time nor patience to deal with someone with my considerations. I know, I've had five jobs since I moved here and none lasted more than a
week. Pay you for one, make you work five or six, and no sympathies for someone without a visual disability. I just got overloaded.
I'd go into all the horror stories of my quest for part-time employment, but it would be a boondoggle of negativity and would really serve no purpose.
It's just really defeating living in the Land of Opportunity and knowing because of human prejudice and misinformation that they won't hire me around
here because everyone is fearful of "how I might react".
On the bright side, I haven't had a break from reality so severe that I needed to be taken to inpatient in over seven years. That was getting
expensive. Ten Grand for a week of crayons, Kool-Aid and coloring books. So it's not as bad as it could be.
So in summation, usually I can bear through the noise overload and just tune it out, but last night was a recipe for disaster and the multitudes of
factors that all added up to my schizm last night have finally calmed down somewhat.
Also, I can hear the Bikers cruising by again and it's not sending me into a mental breakdown this time around.
So it's all good.
edit on 9/11/16 by GENERAL EYES because: added minor detail for clarity