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originally posted by: kaelci
Don't think of it as an online friendship, or an online relationship; just turn it into "friendship" or "relationship" minus the online aspect. Thinking of it as purely "online" is what ruins things. These are real people with real feelings. Sure, there might be some #faces out there, but it's the same wherever you look, offline or online.
Now that we're thinking of this as just "life" and not solely online or offline - in life there are all manners of people. There are lovely people out there. There are people out there you just can't get along with. There are people who are fake, liars, scumbags. Just as there are people who are absolutely beautiful.
originally posted by: Profusion
Among my contacts there are about twenty women I've known (mostly current and former colleagues) who I could contact to try to be friends with. I chose three who I remember liking, and I asked them if they wanted to be friends. Two of them replied in the affirmative (the other one didn't reply which was surprising because she alluded to us becoming friends not too long ago), and we chatted via an instant message program the same night I contacted them. We had wonderful conversations, and they both indicated that they had a good time and wanted to chat with me in the future.
Source
originally posted by: Profusion
a reply to: kaelci
Thank you for that detailed reply.
I think I tend to be abrasive and really blunt.
I need to put things in perspective a little. I broke up with both of the women I mentioned specifically in the original post (for very different reasons). They both told me that I broke their heart. That doesn't sound like I had pushed them away. In case anyone thinks it's my ego making me believe they said that...one wrote it in email, and the other wrote it in an instant message. I can actually prove that they both wrote it (I have to state that because people call me egotistical for writing such things sometimes). So, I believe I didn't push them away (ultimately).
originally posted by: Profusion
These two women have very distinct personalities. One of them is very cute, the other one is very serious. Since we've had an Internet (or long-distance/technology)-based friendship for about 5 weeks now, I can compare them to the other experiences I've had in such situations.
First of all, both of them were people I knew first in real life. Both of them expressed a lot of interest in being friends with me. In both cases I hadn't seen them in a considerable about amount of time (around 6 to 18 months) before I asked them if they wanted to be friends with me.
originally posted by: Profusion
In my other long-distance romantic relationship, my ex-girlfriend tried to break up with me because she felt like I wasn't paying close enough attention during our chat (via instant messaging). It only happened once. I really wasn't paying as much attention as usual because I was dead tired. She didn't know that. She left the conversation, and she immediately sent me an email saying that she was breaking up with me. If I hadn't called her soon after that, our relationship would have been over. Over what? Absolutely nothing. If we had been on the phone rather than using an instant messaging program, she would have known I was tired by the sound of my voice.