posted on Jun, 21 2003 @ 04:43 AM
Instincts and natural ability play a major part in it too.
Some people can just 'read' other peoples emotional states...they just 'feel' them. This is something I have always seemed to be able to do...and
it works quite well in my current career (Mental Health Worker). Was I simply born with it?? Maybe...but then again, how I grew up, also necessitated
the ability to 'read' how someone was...for it gave prior warning of how that person was, and so I could get the heck outa there before anything bad
happened. So in a way, its something that was developed as a protection/safegaurd mechanism...rapid and accurate reading of a situation and a person
to reduce harm to self.
Communication is predominately...like 70% or more...NON-Verbal...so relying on what someone is saying with their mouth is not a great indicator of
whats really happening on the inside.
Always trust your initial impressions...your gut instincts...you feel them for a reason...perhaps their body language or the 'feel' you get from
them is being picked up on a level you aren't overly conscious of/aware to. Perhaps a clue from their behaviour just spurs off something you have
learnt and is now almost innate within you.
Be aware also, that body language is affected by many factors...age, gender, cultural background ALL play a part in whether or not the 'messages'
you interpret from the person are being interpreted correctly. For example...if someone talks to you, yet fails to make eye contact, in fact
deliberately refuses to do so...many people would say thats a probably sign of that person being untruthful with you, evasive etc. However, culturally
that may be incorrect...as within my culture (NZ Maori) and many other Pacific cultures (like Pacific Islanders etc) direct eye-contact is something
that is not normally done...unless its a person you consider a peer. Its a show of respect NOT to look a superior/person in position of power in the
eye...in a way is a humble 'lowering of oneself' before them.
Also...direct eye contact in my culture and in many Pacific Island cultures can also be seen as an act of agression...'eye-balling' someone...so if
you deliberately try to make eye contact when they are trying to avoid your eyes (out of respect or whatever), it can actually be taken as a
But like Magestica suggests...just watch, just listen...and learn from observation really.