a reply to: lavatrance
It would be foolish...unless you have spare funds. By that, I mean funds which are surplus to your needs. Of course, if you have more than you could
ever need, then it would merely be enabling toward your family member.
But yes, in general, it is a bloody stupid idea to give someone a whole heap of money, expecting repayment, if you have already proven that the
individual is unwilling to pay you back. I think it might be wise to form some sort of intervention about this anyway, get the family together to get
to the bottom of what is costing this person all this money.
You see, you offered up the most important information when you said that this individual has a decent job. Unless they are living in some palatial
circumstances beyond their means, or driving a car that is worth more than the house you live in, I fail to see how anyone with a decently paid job is
getting themselves into so much trouble, that they are hitting family up on the regular, and not paying it back...
UNLESS the individual concerned is into drugs, prostitutes, or gambling, I fail to see where the money is going.
Get an intervention together, with the following aims:
1) explaining that free money will not be forthcoming,
2) establishing the facts as to how the first debt was raised,
3) finding out why your money did not come back to you,
4) ending whatever cycle keeps putting your family member so far in the red, that they would hit you up for the money they "need" to survive.
There are never good reasons why a person would screw a family member over. The chances are that this has something to do with either illegal,
immoral, or plain stupid behaviour on the part of your relative. They may be mixed up in something shady, and with shady people. While I believe it is
best to act to see after their long term safety, I also believe that if you do, you should prepare yourself to learn things you did not want to know,
and deal with situations you might not necessarily want to deal with.
What I would not do, is offer money, or agree to provide it. Simply put, enabling gamblers, drug addicts, and those engaged in activity of a
questionable nature of any sort, is not in the interests of the individual caught up in the unhealthy behaviour, despite their protestations to the
contrary. If you do anything at all, other than intervene and put a stop to whatever it is that is bleeding your relative dry of funds, then do
I wish you the very best of luck
edit on 8-6-2016 by TrueBrit because: Grammar correction